Home > Teenage Troubles > Living with Loss

Living with Loss

By: Beth Morrisey MLIS - Updated: 17 Jan 2013 | comments*Discuss
 
Death loss coping With Death dealing

Dealing with the death of a loved one can be traumatic for even the most mature adult, but when you have to live with loss as a teenager your world can spin out of control very quickly. Emotions can flood over you, leaving you frantic to go on with your daily life. The important thing to remember when you are learning to live with loss is to accept that life will be different, but to remember that you are still alive and still have a life to live, no matter what.

Be Honest With Yourself - And Others

The most important thing you can do for yourself when you experience the death of a friend or family member is to be honest, both with yourself and with others. Acknowledge and accept your emotions, whatever they may be, so that you can move forward. Realise that whatever you are feeling is fine, even if it is:

  • Sadness.
  • Grief.
  • Loneliness.
  • Guilt.
  • Anger.
  • Shock.
  • Doubt.
  • Relief.
  • Frustration.
  • Tension.
  • Numbness.
  • Paralysed, as if you are unable to move or make decisions.

Express Your Emotions

Once you recognise your emotions, you will need to express them before you explode! Keeping you emotions to yourself, whether out of fear, embarrassment or shyness, will only add to your frustrations. Before your emotions tumble out at the wrong time, let them out slowly and steadily by:

  • Speaking with another family member or friend.
  • Talking to a trusted adult such as a teacher, counsellor or member of the clergy.
  • Writing in a journal.
  • Creating a collage or scrapbook.
  • Working on a poem or song.
  • Posting to a 'blog.
  • Seeking support online
  • Joining a local support group.
  • Speaking one-on-one with a counsellor or other professional.

Get Out and About

The emotional work of coping with death can be exhausting. Give your brain a break by getting out and about. The change of scenery will do you good, and sometimes all it takes is a new setting to lead you to a new perspective. Think about:

  • Visiting with family and friends.
  • Tiring yourself out with some exercise.
  • Getting lost in a book or film.
  • Visiting a day spa to let someone else look after you for a little while.
  • Planning a short ceremony at a place loved by the deceased.
Living with loss may require a long adjustment period, and that's ok. Coping with the death of a friend or family member is not a race, nor is it something you can plan out.

Everyone deals with death differently, and you must follow whatever feels comfortable for you. Your friends and other family members may be waiting to take their cue from how you act, so if they seem hesitant at first just understand that they may be unsure of how to help you.

Be patient with yourself, and everyone else, and life will begin to fall into new patterns and routines. This does not mean that you will forget those who have died, but rather that you will be living your own full and satisfying life - just as they would have wanted.

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
Why not be the first to leave a comment for discussion, ask for advice or share your story...

If you'd like to ask a question one of our experts (workload permitting) or a helpful reader hopefully can help you... We also love comments and interesting stories

Title:
(never shown)
Firstname:
(never shown)
Surname:
(never shown)
Email:
(never shown)
Nickname:
(shown)
Comment:
Validate:
Enter word:
Latest Comments
  • RoseH
    Re: Warning Signs of Self Harming
    @Sad - you really need to speak to someone about this, a doctor, a school teacher, as it sounds as though you are also suffering…
    23 February 2018
  • jessie
    Re: Coping with a Crush
    @Lovesick - if you think he likes you too - just go with it. :)))
    23 February 2018
  • Sad
    Re: Warning Signs of Self Harming
    Hi I'm 13 and I've been cutting myself for about 7 months and I've told some friends I self-harm. My guy friend mostly helped me…
    23 February 2018
  • Lovesick
    Re: Coping with a Crush
    Hi.. ?? I’m in 5th grade and I have a crush on a friend that’s really close.. we have know each other since 1st grade..It’s a killer crush.. I…
    22 February 2018
  • khan
    Re: Questionnaire: Are You Addicted to Social Networking Sites?
    I am the student of Psychology and i am conducting research on this topic if you please…
    21 February 2018
  • Epickai64
    Re: First Kiss Tips
    i was just wondering how much dedicated ram to host a server
    19 February 2018
  • Agent To
    Re: Arguing With Parents
    Good atfernoon kids! A week ago when I came home a rainy day my oldest son stood in front of the out door, he was just standing there with…
    15 February 2018
  • TeenIssues
    Re: All about Abortion
    mxg_x - Your Question:Hi me and my boyfriend had sex and I forgot to take my pill that day, he pulled out but I got affraid and took the…
    15 February 2018
  • mxg_x
    Re: All about Abortion
    Hi me and my boyfriend had sex and I forgot to take my pill that day, he pulled out but I got affraid and took the morning after pill the next…
    14 February 2018
  • AlexM
    Re: First Kiss Tips
    @ShietYOLO - you'll know when it feels right. But it's kinda nice to ask permission first. Lol!
    12 February 2018
Further Reading...
Our Most Popular...
Add to my Yahoo!
Add to Google
Stumble this
Add to Twitter
Add To Facebook
RSS feed
You should seek independent professional advice before acting upon any information on the TeenIssues website. Please read our Disclaimer.