Home > Self Harming > Self Harm Self Help

Self Harm Self Help

By: Beth Morrisey MLIS - Updated: 28 Oct 2019 | comments*Discuss
 
Self Harm self Harmer self Harming

It can be hard to admit that you self harm particularly if this has become the best way that you know how to deal with the stresses and strains of everyday life. Yet no matter how much you rely on it for emotional relief, self harming is never a healthy activity. To protect your physical health, and to get the mental and emotional support you need, recognise the warning signs that you are self harming, be honest with yourself about your behaviours, and seek help before you risk damaging yourself irreparably.

Recognise the Warning Signs

For some self harmers it is obvious that they self harm – they know that they cut, burn or otherwise injure themselves and they enjoy the release that this behaviour gives them. Others knowingly harm themselves, enjoy a short sense of emotional relief, but then feel guilty or ashamed about their behaviours afterwards. Still others are unhappy that they turn to these behaviours at all, but can’t seem to stop themselves when they are faced with overwhelming emotions. If you realise that you harm yourself, try to recognise the signs of when and why you might be engaging in this behaviour. For example, have you had:

  • Mood changes or mood swings?
  • Changes in eating patterns?
  • Changes in sleeping patterns?
  • Changes in socialising patterns?
  • Poor performance or results at school or work?
  • A Loss of interest in favourite hobbies or sports?
  • Stress due to school or work expectations?
  • Stress due to personal relationships?
  • A history of being bullied?
  • A history of sexual abuse?
  • A history of physical abuse?
  • A history of neglect?
  • Mental illness in the family?
  • Substance abuse in the family?

Be Honest with Yourself

Even if you are not ready to admit your behaviours to your family and friends, be honest with yourself about self harming. Chances are you know that you self harm, but are still confused about why and how to stop. Unfortunately, even if you wanted to, it is unlikely that you will wake up one day and simply never feel the need to self harm again. The good news, however, is that once you are honest about your behaviours you can begin to track them. Consider keeping notes on your behaviours for a month or so. Write down when and how you self harm, as well as how you were feeling before the behaviour and how you were feeling after. You might begin to see a pattern emerge. If you are ready to find alternative ways of handling your emotions, consciously think through your actions before you self harm. Could you leave the area and go out somewhere instead? Could you take a shower and see if you still want to behave the same way afterwards? Could you call a friend and socialise until the urge passes? Experiment with different ways of avoiding self harming. In the meantime, f you do continue to self harm, ensure that any injuries you inflict on yourself are properly treated and cared for, even if it means revealing them to a medical professional.

Get Help for Self Harming

Self harming is often confusing to those who engage in it, and you will likely need professional help to sort through this confusion. There are many ways that you can find this help, though some of them require sharing your secret with others. Teachers, coaches, a school nurse, a member of your clergy and your GP are all adults to whom you can turn for support and information. If you truly don’t want to talk to a close adult, consider visiting Childline (www.childline.org.uk), the National Self Harm Network (www.nshn.co.uk), the Samaritans (www.samaritans.org.uk) and Young Minds (www.youngminds.org.uk), a charity devoted to mental health issues as they affect young people. Remember, others are available to support you in your quest to end self harming – take them up on their offers to help.

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
Why not be the first to leave a comment for discussion, ask for advice or share your story...

If you'd like to ask a question one of our experts (workload permitting) or a helpful reader hopefully can help you... We also love comments and interesting stories

Title:
(never shown)
Firstname:
(never shown)
Surname:
(never shown)
Email:
(never shown)
Nickname:
(shown)
Comment:
Validate:
Enter word:
Latest Comments
  • Lola
    Re: All about Abortion
    I think im pregnant im 13 almost 14 but im not sure what to do its been a week or 2 weeks im not sure on what to do ive already lost mum and i…
    3 July 2020
  • Sasuke
    Re: How to Deal with Pressure From Parents
    Same my mom doesn't understands my feelings and is always saying I time pass..even when I am viewing some light joke…
    25 June 2020
  • Ian
    Re: Coping With Strict Parents
    Before I reached puberty, my parents treated me very well, just like many parents do to their only child. Being my social partners…
    25 June 2020
  • BarbieAri
    Re: Coping With Strict Parents
    That is sad I can relate to every single one of you...I'm not gonna write about it because I would take up to like 2 pages...but…
    24 June 2020
  • Charlie
    Re: Coping With Strict Parents
    My parents don’t let me hang out with anyone. When I ask why they get mad at me and say “because we don’t want you to”. I can’t leave…
    21 June 2020
  • unknown
    Re: How to Deal with Pressure From Parents
    I am in lockdown and do all of my school work at home. I dont know why but I have not been doing enough and the…
    18 June 2020
  • Lili
    Re: Warning Signs of Self Harming
    I’ve seen your comments and it’s inspired me too tell you guys my story. I’m Lili I’m 13 years old and I’ve never had the courage…
    8 June 2020
  • Lily
    Re: How to Deal with Pressure From Parents
    I am 18 and i am going to uni soon.i am not a really open person with my family because i felt there is nothing to…
    8 June 2020
  • Ashleen
    Re: How to Deal with Pressure From Parents
    Hi I am in form 3.I used to be a performer but suddenly i started becoming worse in class 7. Since i started high…
    5 June 2020
  • Evee
    Re: Coping With Strict Parents
    Hey, I am fifteen years old. I have lived with my Grandparents since I was about a month old, my mother is a drunk as my father is…
    4 June 2020