What Makes People Self Harm?

There is no single identifiable reason that all self harmers hurt themselves, however many self harmers turn to self injurous behaviours as a means of coping with stress or emotions that they can not otherwise deal with. Certain aspects of an individual’s history, such as abuse or neglect, may be the cause of these emotions without the individual necessarily even realising that there is a connection. Unfortunately, because self harmers engage in harmful behaviours as a means of coping, they often try to keep their actions secret so that others will not try to make them stop. As a result, it is common that family members and friends must watch for clues that their loved ones are self harming, and get them professional help before irreparable harm is done.

Emotional Response

Although a self harmer may not recognise it, engaging in self harming behaviours usually occurs when the individual has intense or overwhelming emotions about something. In general, inflicting self harm is an individual’s way of tackling these emotions and finding a release. For some self harmers these behaviours may be engaged in as a way to combat negative feelings and to remind themselves that they are alive. Other self harmers may use these behaviours as a way to physical control an emotional pain that they can not deal with. Still other self harmers may truly hate themselves or be disgusted by themselves and show these feeling through their behaviours, while yet others may self harm so that they can then tend their own wounds and take care of themselves. Even though many self harmers carry out their actions in secret, self harming may also be an attempt to reach others. Self harmers may use their behaviours to try to manipulate or guilt others, or as a means of seeking attention that they can not, for whatever reason, ask for or seek directly.

Personal History

Though certain aspects of an individual’s personal history may not necessarily cause self harming, they may lead the individual to these behaviours as a means of coping. Common risk factors related to self harming include a history of being bullied, history of sexual abuse, a history of physical abuse, a history of neglect, the presence of a mental illness in the family, the presence of substance abuse in the family and/or depression in the individual or in the family. If an individual’s personal history does play a role in their current self harming behaviours, this history will likely be explored in therapy sessions where a professional counsellor or therapist can be a source of support to the individual and help him or her learn to move beyond these terrible circumstances.

Warning Signs of Self Harming

In order to keep others from forcing them to stop self harming, such individuals may well keep their behaviours a secret. It will become the responsibility of loved ones, then, to recognise the warning signs of self harming and attempt to get their family member or friend the help that he or she deserves. Warning signs of self harming often include:

• Unexplained cuts, bruises, burns or broken bones.
• Wearing long sleeves and pants, even in warm weather.
• Secrecy, such as keeping a specific drawer locked, hiding specific items or consistently seeking a private location.
• A breakdown in typical communication, such as with parents or siblings.
• Mood changes or mood swings, particularly if these were not present previously.
• Changes in eating patterns, such as eating very little or overeating.
• Changes in sleeping patterns, such as developing insomnia or oversleeping.
• Changes in socialising patterns, such as isolating oneself or socialising too much.
• Evidence of drug or medical paraphernalia among one’s possessions.
• Evidence of carrying unnecessary sharp objects, matches or lighters.
• Poor performance or results at school or work.
• Loss of interest in favourite hobbies or sports.

Getting Help for Self Harming

Self harmers will rarely know how to ask for help even if they do recognise that their actions are harmful and are endangering their own health. Family members and friends may need to track down information and support for the individual, and medical and mental health professionals should all be able to provide further information on self harming and advice for specific cases. Many organisations also exist which can offer further information and support, including Childline (www.childline.org.uk), the National Self Harm Network (www.nshn.co.uk), the Samaritans (www.samaritans.org.uk) and Young Minds (www.youngminds.org.uk), a charity devoted to mental health issues as they affect young people. Many self harmers will deny that they have a problem and may well deny that they need any sort of help or treatment, so parents and other concerned adults may need to take the lead in enlisting professional support.