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Anger Management Techniques

By: Beth Morrisey MLIS - Updated: 27 Sep 2012 | comments*Discuss
 
Anger Management anger Management Tips

Everyone knows how it feels to get so angry that you want to smash things, throw things or even hurt others, but very few people act on these impulses. Controlling your temper is a sign of maturity, and while it may take a great effort, it is the responsible thing to do. Not everyone is born knowing how to manage their anger, but those who aren't can easily learn this skill. If you worry that you will fly out of control the next time you get angry, use these anger management techniques to keep yourself calm, cool and collected.

Remove Yourself from the Situation

If you are angry to the point of feeling destructive, remove yourself from the situation. Some people can do this mentally, by counting to ten (or 20, or 30…) before calmly re-entering the disagreement. For others, this must be literal and they must physically remove themselves from the argument by changing locations. Figure out which works for you and use this technique to buy yourself some time before you lose control.

Work It Out

When you have walked away from an argument, whether you feel that it is settled or not, find a positive, productive way to work out your anger. Go to the gym and take it out on the treadmill, attend a yoga class and feel it melt away, open your journal and get it all down on a paper, or pick up your guitar and set it to music. At the ends of these activities you will see, and feel, tangible results and hopefully will have used up all of the angry energy that could have taken you into a danger zone.

Keep to the Issue

When you are worked up, the temptation is there to bring up everything about the person or situation that has ever angered you. Just don't. Bringing in other issues will only cloud the situation and this won't help to bring about an acceptable solution. Stick to the matter at hand and don't allow yourself to attack others. Explain the issue as you see it, such as by saying "I feel very angry that you have chosen not to invite me to the cinema" and those you are with will have their opening to explain. You never know, the answer may just be "But I was on a date!"

See the Pattern

Most people have a pattern to their anger that they can track. Certain people, places or events can be pet peeves that set you off, and coming to realise this will go a long way toward keeping you calm. For a few months keep track of when you see red, and likely a pattern will emerge. When you figure out what it is that sets you off, avoid these triggers or go into them swearing that you will not allow them to get you riled. Think of it as taking back control and undoubtedly you will be successful.

When you get mad, screaming at people, throwing things and ranting like a lunatic may feel good, but it does little to rectify the situation. The next time you feel your anger rising, use these techniques to stay calm and focused. You, and everyone around you, will appreciate it.

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