Home > Friends & Relationships > Coping with a Crush

Coping with a Crush

By: Beth Morrisey MLIS - Updated: 17 May 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Crush crushes crushing relationships

Like their first kiss and their first love, most people can remember any number of details about their first real "crush." The butterflies in their stomachs, the dry mouths, the sweaty palms, the racing hearts - it may all sound gross, but these symptoms are exhilarating when you get to pair up with your crush for a science experiment, sit next to your crush on the bus or (the crème de la crème of crush-dom), manage to eat a whole lunch by your crush's side. Unfortunately, the title "crush" is apt as it is very easy to be crushed if you find out that (s)he does not return your affections. Don't be crushed by a crush! Instead, follow these tips for moving on and moving up to someone who deserves your special attention.

Defining a Crush

A crush, unlike a relationship, is not a two-way street. Often you'll realize that you feel a strong attraction to someone you barely know, for reasons you barely understand, and that this, in all of its glory, is a crush.

Signs of a Killer Crush

Even if you know better, falling hard for a crush can be unavoidable. Signs of a killer crush include:

  • Wanting to be near your crush, even if you don't know his/her name, and (s)he wouldn't know yours.
  • Wanting to find out as much as you can about your crush and searching for clues to "prove" your compatibility.
  • Changing your habits or schedules to coincide with those of your crush.
  • Feeling embarrassed or flustered when your crush pays attention to you.
  • Reacting nervously when you are physically close to your crush.
  • Obsessing for hours about a hypothetical future with your crush.

Coping with a Crush

Living with a crush isn't easy, in fact it's hard work. Having a crush makes it hard to concentrate, it makes it hard to eat and it especially makes it hard to sleep, even if you are hoping to meet up with your crush somewhere in your dreams. To make sure that the rest of your life doesn't fall apart for the duration of your crush,

  • Confess your crush to your friends and ask them to distract you.
  • Throw yourself into schoolwork to make sure you don't fall behind (and who knows, maybe by standing out you'll catch your crush's attention).
  • Take up a hobby that will get you out of the house and get you moving.
  • Give yourself enough time alone to fantasize about your crush, but don't let it interfere with your real life.
Living with a crush can be a wonderful, magical, painful, torturous time. Allow yourself to enjoy the frivolity of a crush, but don't let your feelings override your common sense. Don't risk your safety, or your reputation, in order to get your crush's attention, and forget about your true friends and relationships. In other words, don't irrevocably change your life for a crush that will likely disappear as quickly as it began. Ride it out, enjoy it, and let it die its natural death.

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
[Add a Comment]
@MagicalFruits - it sounds as though he likes you especially if he was staring at you. But it depends on what way he was staring at you - as there is a difference between stares :)
SurferGirl - 17-May-17 @ 12:35 PM
Okay, I have had a crush on this guy for a little over 2 years. About two months ago, I realized that we probably won't be good together. So, I found a video that was suppose to help me get over him. It didn't really work, because my feelings were still strong. I was sent to the class he was in along with some of my friends, but the three of us got separated, and I was of course sitting across from him. Anyways, we were testing. And a friend of mine who is in the same class that the guy I like is in, was sitting next to me. I quietly said hello to her. A little into the testing, I noticed that my crush was staring at me, I didn't look at him directly, but I casually looked at him pretending to run my fingers through my hair. In my head, I was thinking, "Why is he looking at me??" (By the way, when I met him, I thought of him as a friend. But a few months after I realized I had developed feelings for him.)When my friend had finished testing, she saw him looking at me. She whispered to me, "He's staring at you." And that time, I looked at him. He continued staring at me when he I saw him. I began feeling nervous. I was shaking like crazy! I couldn't handle him staring at me anymore because I felt my feelings returning. And since that day, I couldn't get rid of my crush on him. My friends think that he likes me, but I honestly doubt it. Please help!
MagicalFruits - 13-May-17 @ 4:22 AM
Vishnu - Your Question:
I am 18 years old. I have a crush on my professor but he is engaged. Still I can't control my feelings. Whenever I see him I just fall for him. I am making him uncomfortable. But I don't know what to do. But not a single minute of my life goes without his thought. I have a hopeless crush on him. How can I come out of it???Please reply fast.

Our Response:
Many young people have crushes on their teachers, lecturers or professors. But, it is against the law for teachers and pupils to have relations and to do so is a sackable offence, so you have to know your crush is not going to turn into a reality. That doesn't mean you cannot continue to enjoy dreaming and fantasising about your crush. But, if your are going to have a relationship with someone - it is better for you to have a relationship with someone who is actually available. Leave your crush to your daydreams. Those daydreams will soon wear off when you realise your crush is not accessible.
TeenIssues - 12-May-17 @ 11:15 AM
I am 18 years old. I have a crush on my professor but he is engaged. Still I can't control my feelings. Whenever I see him I just fall for him. I am making him uncomfortable. But I don't know what to do. But not a single minute of my life goes without his thought. I have a hopeless crush on him. How can I come out of it??? Please reply fast....
Vishnu - 11-May-17 @ 3:01 PM
@ggirly - ask one of your friends to help you out. That's what friends are for ;)
Maxi03 - 24-Apr-17 @ 12:42 PM
Hey I hope you guys see this because this is a BIG issue. I have a crush on this guy since last year and I can't get over it! I ask my friends to help me but they don't like me ranting on about my crush all the time and their tips aren't helpful. The guy I like is really good at singing and acting and really hot. We had a class together last year but not this year. He doesn't notice me at all, probably doesn't know I exist, and I don't even know if he knows my name! I'm also too shy to talk to him. He's also a foot taller than me so there's no way he'll even notice me. Anyways, I really need help with this and please give me tips on how to get home to notice me!!!!!!!
ggirly - 23-Apr-17 @ 8:44 PM
So there was this boy and me and him were the best on friends. He was hilarious and over time I developed I really deep crush on him. So one day I invited him over to a party with my other friends and in the end it was just me and him. So I got a popsicle and he also got up and got ice cream. Then I sat on the couch and when he sat down too he wrapped a blanket around both of us and got reallllly close to me. That was the best day of my life when the next day at school he started bullying m e and he talked to everybody but me. He took my best friend away and I was heartbroken. Now we never talk, but I still love him. What do i do?
CallMeJules - 22-Apr-17 @ 2:32 AM
I've just turned 13 and I've always thought I was far too young to have a 'relationship' with a boy, I felt like it wouldn't mean anything because we were so young and I've had small crushes in the past but I've never acted on it because I knew it wasn't really love I was feeling because I am too young to experience those emotions. However, there is this new kid who has recently moved to my school and he's really funny, smart and cute. I think he's my first real crush and I'm really worried. He's only at school for the last two classes and a full day on Friday, I'm not in any of his classes, which makes it twice as hard for him to realise I'm alive. I recently found out he just got a girlfriend but she is in some of my classes and she's awful. I've never liked her and she tries to make my life hell. She's really moody and always thinks she's higher up than us all. I want him to be happy but she's just a snob. He is really friendly with my classmates and I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous. I just want him to realise i exist. Help??!
Umhelp - 13-Apr-17 @ 8:58 PM
Torn2121 - Your Question:
Hi, im in sixth grade and theres this girl in one of my classes that I cant stop thinking of her shes in almost every single thought and I cant handle it! She was in my last trimester and thats when my crush on her started and since then my mind has been tahing a mental beating of her being in almost every thought and shes so cool and charimsic yet intoxicating to think of and I havent told any one and gossip spreads like wildfire at my school and will do me no good. I want to still be her friend but the thoughts make it impossible and another thing is that sometimes I stay up late andlisten to classic rock and a lot of the lyrics revolve around love and its not helping at all also every second im not in her aura I sm left with the thoughts. I just need some tips to help me cope with the thoughts.

Our Response:
In addition to the tips in the article (which really answer your question) it is about finding a balance. You don't want to deny the crush, it's part of human nature and it is one of the nicest feelings we are lucky to experience as human beings. But it's also one of the most torturous and when it is in full flow, it can take up so much time (so much that we end up getting fed up of it). The fact is you are growing up and this is part of it, as we get older we tend to be able to rationalise these feelings more and can compartmentalise them. Your crush will abate, in the meantime enjoy spending time with her and try to remember that she is just a person too and will have her bad points as well as her good ones, just like me and you. As long as it doesn't affect your schoolwork, you should try to relax into it and enjoy it while you can.
TeenIssues - 6-Apr-17 @ 2:08 PM
Hi, im in sixth grade and theres this girl in one of my classes that i cant stop thinking of her shes in almost every single thought and i cant handle it! She was in my last trimester and thats when my crush on her started and since then my mind has been tahing a mental beating of her being in almost every thought and shes so cool and charimsic yet intoxicating to think of and i havent told any one and gossip spreads like wildfire at my school and will do me no good. I want to still be her friend but the thoughts make it impossible and another thing is that sometimes i stay up late andlisten to classic rock and a lot of the lyrics revolve around love and its not helping at all also every second im not in her aura i sm left with the thoughts... i just need some tips to help me cope with the thoughts.
Torn2121 - 6-Apr-17 @ 4:30 AM
@Ashley - It's always the same, the person we don't like likes us and the person we like is not interested in us. There's nothing we can do about it - we just have to suck it up. We can't force 'chemistry'. Somewhere out there there's a person that you will like and that will like you in return.
Poppy - 5-Apr-17 @ 1:53 PM
@CherryCrush - sounds to me like he likes you! Smile back - hang out with him more.
Poppy - 5-Apr-17 @ 11:06 AM
I have liked this guy for a couple years now and he is always Talks to me. The thing is I know who he likes and it's not me.I have tried to get over it but I just can't. How do I deal with this please reply!
Ashley - 5-Apr-17 @ 1:16 AM
Hi I like a guy and I don't know what to do. I've only told 2 of my friends because the others ship him and me and I don't wanna make it weird. He also hangs around with this other girl and I don't know if they like each other or not. Every time I talk to him, I regret it and get embarrassed. I have also fake asked him out because of an Oreo and he said no, which probably means he doesn't like me. Help!!!!!
Peetshes - 1-Apr-17 @ 5:18 AM
I have a crush on a boy . I barely talk to him i don't know how it happened or why but when I'm next to him my heart beats really fast and I sweat a lot....I have never felt this things before for a boy and I just don't know how to deal with it.I sometimes thought about telling him how I feel because this is my last year at school,and I won't see him next year but I'm too afraid to get rejected . I'm shy and I'd be so ashamed if he told me that he didn't like me . There are many students at my school and everyone will end up knowing that I confessed my feelings to that boy.There's another problem too apparently he is in love with a girl but they're not yet in a relationship but I fear that his heart is already taken We share many lessons together so I see him almost everyday and it's so hard....I don't know what to do.....
Duckiiie - 31-Mar-17 @ 6:49 PM
Rebecca - Your Question:
I have a crush on a family friend and it's so awkward because 1) he's my dad's friend's son, 2) I'm good friends with his younger sister, and 3) we've known eachother since we were little. Also he's two years older than me so I feel like he may not be interested in me, even though I'm quite mature for my age sometimes. And I need advice because he's going to visit us with his family in the holidays but his sister isn't going to be there this time so I'll have to make conversation with him and im just so nervous and obvious sometimes and I feel so stupid liking him cause we could never date because of the family situation.Should I try to stop liking him? And how do I do that?!

Our Response:
How exciting for you and scary at the same time. I know it is always difficult when someone says 'just be yourself' when you are so conscious of yourself that you can't possibly. But, being your usual natural self always helps. Try not to think of him as your crush, but as a friend you have always known. You don't say how old you are, but two years is not a big age gap. All we can say is just enjoy the time you sepnd with him and most of all try to relax. Enjoy.
TeenIssues - 31-Mar-17 @ 1:55 PM
I have a crush on a family friend and it's so awkward because 1) he's my dad's friend's son, 2) I'm good friends with his younger sister, and 3) we've known eachother since we were little. Also he's two years older than me so i feel like he may not be interested in me, even though I'm quite mature for my age sometimes. And I need advice because he's going to visit us with his family in the holidays but his sister isn't going to be there this time so I'll have to make conversation with him and im just so nervous and obvious sometimes and I feel so stupid liking him cause we could never date because of the family situation. Should I try to stop liking him? And how do I do that?!
Rebecca - 30-Mar-17 @ 11:05 PM
@bon - if he wants to keep chatting to you then it's OK - go with it you've got nothing to lose.
MaiTai - 22-Mar-17 @ 2:10 PM
i mean him im a girl he is a boymy so called crush
bon - 22-Mar-17 @ 7:21 AM
Hi i meet this my so called crush on fb im searching someones name and suddenly see his profile i got interested to him and finally i message her at fb because i know im brave enough to confess but i tell her i idolize her not saying that he is my crush what would i do i think i like her a lot but i dont know him in person should i continue talking with him? its really awkward but i think im starting to love him what to do please help me im 18
bon - 22-Mar-17 @ 7:16 AM
Hey! I'm looking for some advice.. There's this guy I really like and we are friends, I hang around with him most of the time because we have the same friendship groups.. I really like him and I don't know how to ask him out.. I'm absolutely terrified and I know he's going to say no.. What should I do?
Starcrushed - 17-Mar-17 @ 3:47 PM
@Voquev - just being yourself is always the best approach. People always know if you're trying to impress them and it is impossible to keep up, so by doing that you would have been setting a false precedent. It's a good thing that your thoughts of her have dragged you away from gaming - what sort of life can you ever lead from behind a computer screen? You don't say if you are still friends - but just ask her if wants to hang out - just as mates. Being natural is your best option and if you don't want anything more from her than to be mates then you've nothing to lose.
PrinnyP - 16-Mar-17 @ 1:44 PM
Okay, so I have known this one girl for 6 months now. I am SUPER into her, and for the first 3 months or so I tried to impress her. I'm a shy person, so I never asked for her phone number or anything, I just started changing everything in my life to do things that would impress her, in hopes that she would open up to me. Unfortunetally, that didn't happen, so I ended up stopping all my efforts to impress her and attempted to return to living my life without her. For about 2 months now I've been desperately trying to forget about her, but nothing has worked. Before I met her I was an avid gamer, but now I don't get nearly as much enjoyment out of playing. I don't know whether she likes me or not, but regardless I know I'll never actually approach her. It's strange, I don't want to date her or anything, I just want to be aquaintences. I wish I could live my old life and enjoy it. Any tips? Thanks
Voquev - 16-Mar-17 @ 3:02 AM
@Charlo lotter - crushes are great! They make you feel alive and give you hope and optimism.Watch plenty of romcoms, be in the moment and get carried away. Enjoy your crush and speak to your crush to see if he feels the same :) Beth.
LizzyBeth - 15-Feb-17 @ 3:03 PM
Thanks and my story goes like,: I have crush on someone, I met him at the campus ..I don't know his name and from the first time I saw him I never stopped thinking about him,whenever I meet him my heart skips beats and I always feel nervous... The part of me wants to tell him how I feel and another part of me wants him to stay in the past and never think of him....help me because the guy stole my heart,my attention, concentration and my mind and am getting carried away Thanks
Charlo lotter - 11-Feb-17 @ 9:34 PM
@Hopeless13 - so you should just be brave and talk to him. You might find that you don't actually like him when you do. It ruined one of my crushes once because I thought I liked this boy and then when I spoke to him he was a real arrogant *&^% and I went off him straight away. It stopped me wasting loads of time thinking about him <3
Elle2000 - 27-Jan-17 @ 2:45 PM
So, the guy i like is in only one of my classes, never talks to me nor do i talk to him, and i bet he dosent even know i exist, but i can never stop thinking about him and whenever im near him i can never think straight. I want to go up and start talking to him but im super shy and we are both super awkward, i really dont know what to do. Should i just continue just trying to get over the crush or should i try to make something happen? i keep saying to myself that if something is supposed it happen it will but i just dont know anymore.
Hopeless13 - 27-Jan-17 @ 9:00 AM
J4key - Your Question:
Hey, so there is this one girl who I have a crush on. However, the problem is that I don't want to date anyone right now. I am very busy with school and sports and I know that if I were in a relationship it would mess my life up. I keep telling myself this, yet I keep thinking about her all the time and I get nervous whenever I see her around. I want to be able to forget about her or anyone else for that matter and to move on with life, but it's hard. I see her everday at school, so avoiding her isn't an option.Any suggestions? Thanks

Our Response:
You will find that throughout much of your life these are the things that are sent to test us. It very much comes down to what your priorities are and/or whether you want a work/life balance. You will find later on that we all have to juggle the things we want, i.e; relationships and children, work, fun. However, as you will get older you'll find that some people can happily manage to do all things, some prefer work and some people concentrate on purely having fun. The measure is; what type of person you want to be? If you want to concentrate on your schooling badly enough and don't want to be affected by this girl, then this will eventually win over. But if you think you can manage both having a possible girlfriend and still do your schoolwork, then the choice is yours (assuming your crush likes you as much as you like her). The thing is to let your decisions develop naturally, and you will eventually go with the right one for you, and without having to do very much at all.
TeenIssues - 24-Jan-17 @ 2:39 PM
Also, continuing from before, this is really stressing me out. It's gotten to the point that for a about a month now I've been not exactly stressing over her, but stressing about over the fact that I can't stop thinking about her. This is definitally my worst problem right now (I know, I'm so spoiled), and I feel like there is now way for me to move on. I've spent so much time recently thinking about this problem that I feel like I'll never forget about it. Maybe I'm overanalyzing this, but it really sucks. All I want is to move on with life.
J4key - 24-Jan-17 @ 3:24 AM
Hey, so there is this one girl who I have a crush on. However, the problem is that I don't want to date anyone right now. I am very busy with school and sports and I know that if I were in a relationship it would mess my life up. I keep telling myself this, yet I keep thinking about her all the time and I get nervous whenever I see her around. I want to be able to forget about her or anyone else for that matter and to move on with life, but it's hard. I see her everday atschool, so avoiding her isn't an option. Any suggestions? Thanks
J4key - 24-Jan-17 @ 12:11 AM
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice...
Title:
(never shown)
Firstname:
(never shown)
Surname:
(never shown)
Email:
(never shown)
Nickname:
(shown)
Comment:
Validate:
Enter word:
Latest Comments
  • TeenIssues
    Re: All about Abortion
    Melody - Your Question:Me and my boyfriend have been together for half a year and he decided to finger me whih I agreed too.however he had…
    26 May 2017
  • Melody
    Re: All about Abortion
    Me and my boyfriend have been together for half a year and he decided to finger me whih I agreed too.however he had recently touched himself…
    25 May 2017
  • Missy
    Re: Warning Signs of Self Harming
    @Aoneill 21 - if you feel this way, then it is important you seek help and some support :(
    24 May 2017
  • sai
    Re: How to Deal with Pressure From Parents
    I have faced the problem in my 12 grade by my parents, he hurt me by kicking me. My New Year 2017 was spoiled by…
    21 May 2017
  • Aoneill 21
    Re: Warning Signs of Self Harming
    I can't stop self-harming I have been doing it for 6 year's and can't stop no friends i'm scared of life ??????
    20 May 2017
  • TeenIssues
    Re: Let's Talk About Sex
    JennyJelly - Your Question:I have just turned 16 - the legal age. My boyfriend and I have been together for to years so we are very committed…
    19 May 2017
  • TeenIssues
    Re: Warning Signs of Self Harming
    JennyJelly - Your Question:Ever since I was little I would scratch until I bleed, sometime it was because I was scared or nervous…
    19 May 2017
  • JennyJelly
    Re: Let's Talk About Sex
    I have just turned 16 - the legal age. My boyfriend and I have been together for to years so we are very committed and in love. He wants to…
    18 May 2017
  • JennyJelly
    Re: Warning Signs of Self Harming
    Ever since I was little I would scratch until I bleed, sometime it was because I was scared or nervous but mostly I'd just do it…
    18 May 2017
  • SurferGirl
    Re: Coping with a Crush
    @MagicalFruits - it sounds as though he likes you especially if he was staring at you. But it depends on what way he was staring at you - as…
    17 May 2017
Further Reading...
Our Most Popular...
Add to my Yahoo!
Add to Google
Stumble this
Add to Twitter
Add To Facebook
RSS feed
You should seek independent professional advice before acting upon any information on the TeenIssues website. Please read our Disclaimer.