Questionnaire: Am I in an Abusive Relationship?
It's true that every relationship is different, so it does take time to settle in and feel comfortable, but if you ever feel that a relationship isn't great then you should probably trust your gut. It can be tricky to decide if someone is just a jerk or if (s)he is truly abusive, but either way that's probably not someone you want to be with for very long!
To help you figure out a little bit more about your relationships we've put together this questionnaire. Each question is designed to help you highlight inappropriate behaviour from your partner, so simply answer "yes" or "no" to each one and then add up your total scores to help understand if you are in an abusive relationship.
Questionnaire1. Has your partner ever criticised you to the point that you have cried?
2. Does your partner yell at you regularly?
3. Does your partner try to limit your contact with your friends and family?
4. Has your partner ever asked you to change clothes before going out in public?
5. Does your partner make you feel silly or stupid on a regular basis?
6. Does your partner make fun of you to others?
7. Has your partner ever hit you or otherwise physically touched you in anger?
8. Does your partner make hurtful remarks about your appearance, intelligence and/or personal tastes?
9. Has your partner ever told you that (s)he is the best thing that has ever happened to you?
10. Has your partner ever told you that if (s)he leaves you that you no one else will want to be with you?
11. Has your partner ever forced you to do something that you were uncomfortable with?
12. Does you find yourself making excuses for your partner's behaviour, both to yourself and others?
Are You In An Abusive Relationship?If you answered "yes" to between one and four questions then you are obviously in a relationship with someone who doesn't seem to care about you as a person. When someone discredits your thoughts, feelings and opinions they are clearly demonstrating that they do not value you. Think long and hard about why you are with this person before continuing this relationship. If this person has ever hit you or forced you to do something that you were uncomfortable with, get out of this relationship immediately!
If you answered "yes" to between five and eight questions then you are likely in an abusive relationship. Abuse comes in many forms, including verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse and sexual abuse. While it's hard to offer an exact definition of what abuse looks like the variety of behaviours that your partner is exhibiting do seem to add up to being abusive. Stop making excuses for this person and end your relationship now. The sooner you leave the sooner you can find someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated - with respect!
If you answered "yes" to more than eight questions then you are probably in an abusive relationship. There is no reason that you need to put up with such appalling behaviour from your partner. If you feel that you can not handle this situation by yourself then confide in a trusted friend or adult, but do something to move towards ending this relationship immediately.