Questionnaire: Am I a Good Friend?

Everybody needs friends, and usually the key to attracting good friends is to be a good friend yourself. Unfortunately, being a good friend can be tricky business. There's no single definition of "good friend," nor are the qualities of a good friend the same for everyone.

What makes a good friend to one person might seem totally preposterous to another. Knowing if you are a good friend takes a lot of practice and even some guessing. No one has it down to an exact science.

To help you decide if you are a good friend we've put together this questionnaire. Simply answer "yes" or "no" to each question and add up your totals to find out if you are a good friend and/or to find out the areas in which you might need some improvement.

Questionnaire

1. Can you name your friends' favourite activities?
2. Do you know if your friends like to be with others or alone when they are upset?
3. When your friends are sick, do you check in on them and let them know they are missed?
4. When your friends need support do they turn to you?
5. Do you know the dates of your friends' birthdays?
6. When your friends are faced with big decisions do they discuss them with you?
7. Do you share your own thoughts and concerns with your friends?
8. When your friends ask for help do you generally make yourself available to them?
9. Do you lean on your friends when something is bothering you?
10. Are you able to tell your friends that you disagree with them without having an argument?
11. Can you keep your friends' secrets?
12. Can you usually help your friends see the dangerous or risky aspects to their plans?

Are You A Good Friend?

If you answered "yes" to between one and four questions then you need to make some improvements in how you relate to your friends. It seems like you have minimal knowledge of your friends' lives and likes, and that you only have a weak emotional connection to your friends.

While it is true that you don't need to know everything about someone and be around that person all the time in order to be a good friend, you do need to know what is going on in his or her life and how you can add positively to it.

Consider scheduling some time alone with you friends to really find out what is going on with them and how you can be a bigger part of it.

If you answered "yes" to between five and eight questions then you are likely a good friend. You have your own life to lead, but you still understand that friendship goes both ways - to have supportive friends you need to be a supportive friend. Try to make some time in your schedule to get together with your friend and reconfirm all of the great things that led you to be their friend in the first place.

There are probably many things that you and your friends still don't know each other, so don't be afraid to find out more about them and share a few facts of your own.

If you answered "yes" to nine or more questions then you are a very good friend. However, there is a fine line between a very good friend and a friend who becomes overbearing and suffocating. If you don't know where this line is with your friends then just ask them. Let them know that you care about them and want to be there for them, but you'll need them to let you know how best to support them. Once you have this sorted out then you can concentrate on having some fun!