Home > Ask Our Experts > How Can I Deal With My Over Protective Mum?

How Can I Deal With My Over Protective Mum?

By: Beth Morrisey MLIS - Updated: 22 Jul 2012 | comments*Discuss
 
Teens Teenagers Drink Drugs Smoking

Q.

How do I deal with my mum when she thinks I do drugs, drink and smoke even though I don't?

She's very overprotective - how should I deal with that as a teenager?

(M.B, 17 February 2009)

A.

The funny thing about mums, and all parents really, is that they always want what is best for their children. Even when their children are teenagers many parents still find themselves worrying when they can't be there to watch over them, which in turn leads them to being overprotective. Of course the funny thing about teenagers is that they often feel suffocated by overprotective parents, but powerless to convince their parents that they really are just fine and can fend for themselves on issues like drink, drugs and cigarettes.

In your situation it might do a world of good to simply sit down with your mum and thank her for caring enough about you to worry. Then let her know that she is worrying needlessly because you aren't involved in risky activities like drinking, doing drugs and smoking. While you are discussing these issues really listen to what your mum has to say. She might bring up reasons why she has been suspicious, or things that you could do to help her realise that you are telling the truth. If you feel hurt and angry that she doesn't believe you, go ahead and say this. Clearing the air might help you both understand the other a little bit better and arrive at conclusions that you both feel comfortable with.

If you and your mum can not reach these conclusions then you might suggest having someone else become involved in your discussions. Asking your dad to sit in, or another relative, or even someone like one of your teachers or coaches, will let your mother know that you are serious about this subject and don't want to continue feeling that she does not trust you and/or is being overprotective. However, you should recognise that you will probably have to compromise on some things so don't expect to be able to dictate to your mother how you'd like the future to be and expect her to go along with it without question!

Finally, you might also consider asking your friends how they deal with overprotective parents. It might be that there is something specific to your school or neighbourhood that is making parents feel worried about their teenagers. The more you can understand your environment the more you can figure out how to prove to your mum that you are safe within it. Try to remember that this is the core of the issue - your mum just wants you to be safe. If you can keep that in mind chances are you can get through this just fine.

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
Why not be the first to leave a comment for discussion, ask for advice or share your story...

If you'd like to ask a question one of our experts (workload permitting) or a helpful reader hopefully can help you... We also love comments and interesting stories

Title:
(never shown)
Firstname:
(never shown)
Surname:
(never shown)
Email:
(never shown)
Nickname:
(shown)
Comment:
Validate:
Enter word:
Latest Comments
  • RoseH
    Re: Warning Signs of Self Harming
    @Sad - you really need to speak to someone about this, a doctor, a school teacher, as it sounds as though you are also suffering…
    23 February 2018
  • jessie
    Re: Coping with a Crush
    @Lovesick - if you think he likes you too - just go with it. :)))
    23 February 2018
  • Sad
    Re: Warning Signs of Self Harming
    Hi I'm 13 and I've been cutting myself for about 7 months and I've told some friends I self-harm. My guy friend mostly helped me…
    23 February 2018
  • Lovesick
    Re: Coping with a Crush
    Hi.. ?? I’m in 5th grade and I have a crush on a friend that’s really close.. we have know each other since 1st grade..It’s a killer crush.. I…
    22 February 2018
  • khan
    Re: Questionnaire: Are You Addicted to Social Networking Sites?
    I am the student of Psychology and i am conducting research on this topic if you please…
    21 February 2018
  • Epickai64
    Re: First Kiss Tips
    i was just wondering how much dedicated ram to host a server
    19 February 2018
  • Agent To
    Re: Arguing With Parents
    Good atfernoon kids! A week ago when I came home a rainy day my oldest son stood in front of the out door, he was just standing there with…
    15 February 2018
  • TeenIssues
    Re: All about Abortion
    mxg_x - Your Question:Hi me and my boyfriend had sex and I forgot to take my pill that day, he pulled out but I got affraid and took the…
    15 February 2018
  • mxg_x
    Re: All about Abortion
    Hi me and my boyfriend had sex and I forgot to take my pill that day, he pulled out but I got affraid and took the morning after pill the next…
    14 February 2018
  • AlexM
    Re: First Kiss Tips
    @ShietYOLO - you'll know when it feels right. But it's kinda nice to ask permission first. Lol!
    12 February 2018
Further Reading...
Our Most Popular...
Add to my Yahoo!
Add to Google
Stumble this
Add to Twitter
Add To Facebook
RSS feed
You should seek independent professional advice before acting upon any information on the TeenIssues website. Please read our Disclaimer.