Home > Ask Our Experts > How Can I Deal With My Over Protective Mum?

How Can I Deal With My Over Protective Mum?

By: Beth Morrisey MLIS - Updated: 22 Jul 2012 | comments*Discuss
 
Teens Teenagers Drink Drugs Smoking

Q.

How do I deal with my mum when she thinks I do drugs, drink and smoke even though I don't?

She's very overprotective - how should I deal with that as a teenager?

(M.B, 17 February 2009)

A.

The funny thing about mums, and all parents really, is that they always want what is best for their children. Even when their children are teenagers many parents still find themselves worrying when they can't be there to watch over them, which in turn leads them to being overprotective. Of course the funny thing about teenagers is that they often feel suffocated by overprotective parents, but powerless to convince their parents that they really are just fine and can fend for themselves on issues like drink, drugs and cigarettes.

In your situation it might do a world of good to simply sit down with your mum and thank her for caring enough about you to worry. Then let her know that she is worrying needlessly because you aren't involved in risky activities like drinking, doing drugs and smoking. While you are discussing these issues really listen to what your mum has to say. She might bring up reasons why she has been suspicious, or things that you could do to help her realise that you are telling the truth. If you feel hurt and angry that she doesn't believe you, go ahead and say this. Clearing the air might help you both understand the other a little bit better and arrive at conclusions that you both feel comfortable with.

If you and your mum can not reach these conclusions then you might suggest having someone else become involved in your discussions. Asking your dad to sit in, or another relative, or even someone like one of your teachers or coaches, will let your mother know that you are serious about this subject and don't want to continue feeling that she does not trust you and/or is being overprotective. However, you should recognise that you will probably have to compromise on some things so don't expect to be able to dictate to your mother how you'd like the future to be and expect her to go along with it without question!

Finally, you might also consider asking your friends how they deal with overprotective parents. It might be that there is something specific to your school or neighbourhood that is making parents feel worried about their teenagers. The more you can understand your environment the more you can figure out how to prove to your mum that you are safe within it. Try to remember that this is the core of the issue - your mum just wants you to be safe. If you can keep that in mind chances are you can get through this just fine.

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
Why not be the first to leave a comment for discussion, ask for advice or share your story...

If you'd like to ask a question one of our experts (workload permitting) or a helpful reader hopefully can help you... We also love comments and interesting stories

Title:
(never shown)
Firstname:
(never shown)
Surname:
(never shown)
Email:
(never shown)
Nickname:
(shown)
Comment:
Validate:
Enter word:
Latest Comments
  • TeenIssues
    Re: All about Abortion
    pregoandinadilema - Your Question:Hey sisters, I am a transgender and I'm pregnant but I've already taken my estrogen (my transition tablets)…
    22 June 2018
  • pregoandinadilema
    Re: All about Abortion
    Hey sisters, I am a transgender and I'm pregnant but I've already taken my estrogen (my transition tablets) but I haven't yet had the surgery,…
    22 June 2018
  • TeenIssues
    Re: All about Abortion
    Ells - Your Question:I am 15 and me and my boyfriend have had unprotected sex at least 4 times in the last 2 weeks. I'm sure I'm pregnant…
    21 June 2018
  • Ells
    Re: All about Abortion
    I am 15 and me and my boyfriend have had unprotected sex at least 4 times in the last 2 weeks. I'm sure I'm pregnant because I've missed my…
    20 June 2018
  • dada
    Re: Questionnaire: Are You Addicted to Social Networking Sites?
    Hi I am studying this topic about social media . can I use this questioner for my…
    20 June 2018
  • Leo_I
    Re: Coping with a Crush
    @Maya - ignore your friend judging you she just jealous. Give him time coz he will tell you if he likes you. It sounds like he does:))))
    19 June 2018
  • TeenIssues
    Re: All about Abortion
    shhh - Your Question:I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend and I think I am pregoo, I am eleven years old and I feel like there is a chance…
    19 June 2018
  • olivia
    Re: Coping with a Crush
    @Plop - I’m a girl and all you have to do is be sweet and funny to her. You and your friends and her friends can all go and hangout. If you…
    19 June 2018
  • Maya
    Re: Coping with a Crush
    I’ve know this guy since preschool and now we’re going into 9th grade and we just started getting to know each other better this past year.…
    19 June 2018
  • shhh
    Re: All about Abortion
    I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend and I think I am pregoo, I am eleven years old and I feel like there is a chance of me being pregnant.…
    18 June 2018