Home > Ask Our Experts > Can I Stop My Friend Having Under Age, Unprotected Sex?

Can I Stop My Friend Having Under Age, Unprotected Sex?

By: Beth Morrisey MLIS - Updated: 6 Feb 2018 | comments*Discuss
 
Sex Unprotected Sex Age Of Consent Safer

Q.

My friend, has just turned 14 and has a boyfriend of 15, she has told me that she has just started having sex with him.

This came as a huge shock as she's always been the sensible one of my friends, she hasn't told her mum or anybody else and she hasn't been using protection.

Now I seem to be feeling pressured as she is the second of my friends to do this, also what can I do to help her?

(G.S, 17 February 2009)

A.

You are not responsible for, nor can you control, your friends' behaviours. Unfortunately this means that even when they are doing something as risky as having underage, unprotected sex you are virtually powerless to stop them. You could consider reporting everyone involved, since the age of consent is 16 in the United Kingdom, but whether or not you wish to inform their parents or the police will depend upon how badly you want to stop this behaviour, how involved you want to become in the situation and if you think your friends will want to continue a relationship with you after the report.

Short of reporting this situation you might also consider letting your friends know that you care about them and want to make sure that they are taking care of themselves. This is usually best done in private when you know that no one could be listening in on your conversation. You could start by telling your friends that they mean to much for you to let them risk hurting themselves, and that you want to make sure that they at least engage in safer sex if they are going to be having sex at all. You might offer to help them obtain condoms or find out more about safer sex, or you might ask if there is any specific help that they need with this situation.

However, never forget that you are not an adult and because of this you should not shoulder responsibilities that you feel are too much for you. If you aren't ready to discuss things like condoms and birth control then you aren't ready to go about getting them and you certainly are not ready to have sex. Don't allow yourself to feel pressurised, the fact that you were shocked when finding out about these situations mean that you are an intelligent young woman who understands that this kind of behaviour is not smart. Repeat this to yourself until you believe it!

If you still continue to feel pressurised about this subject then you might need to distance yourself from it. Tell your friends firmly that you don't want to talk about their sexual activities and change the subject if they do start such conversations. If your friends can't understand that you are not comfortable with such conversation then you might want to spend less time with them, or find new friends who will respect your thoughts and opinions.

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
@Farrah - you don't say how old she is. But apart from the advice in the article, if she is old enough then I suggest she goes to her doctor to request the contraceptive pill or implant, as it is safer than using a condom. I have included an NHS link on the safety of condoms here, which are 98% safe if used correctly. However they can burst or slip off which could lead to pregnancy. Also I have included an NHS link on the contraceptive implanthere. I hope this helps.
TeenIssues - 26-Jan-15 @ 2:46 PM
Hi my best friend has just started having sex with her boyfriend and she isn't on the pill but she said her boyfriend uses a condom. Is she safe ? I'm worried she may get pregnant. She hasn't told her parents which is why she doesn't use the pill but she thinks she is safe I just need to be told correct. Thanks
Farrah - 24-Jan-15 @ 8:31 PM
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice...
Title:
(never shown)
Firstname:
(never shown)
Surname:
(never shown)
Email:
(never shown)
Nickname:
(shown)
Comment:
Validate:
Enter word:
Latest Comments
  • Diane
    Re: Coping With Strict Parents
    Strict parents don’t realize the kids they’re raising. We’re such great liars it’s scary but it’s more sad rather than scary. Sad how…
    22 January 2021
  • fritzli
    Re: Dental Braces
    Its snowing outside, and we can't go out. :(…
    12 January 2021
  • Fredd e
    Re: Coping With Strict Parents
    I am 14, and I live with my dad and brother, and my dad is pretty strict. I’m not allowed to talk to new people and especially not…
    17 December 2020
  • Dan R
    Re: Coping With Strict Parents
    My parents are very strict i am a junior, I cant have my phone in my room and I have a bedtime. I hate the verbal abuse my mom does…
    8 December 2020
  • k3nia
    Re: Coping With Strict Parents
    well, I am 16 turning 17, I feel like my parents can't trust me with anything I got to have my door unlocked and opened and give my…
    8 December 2020
  • Anu
    Re: Coping With Strict Parents
    I am 20 and I always feel fear in my own home.Cause my mom throws a tantrum when ever I have semester exams.she makes hurting jokes…
    30 November 2020
  • anahi
    Re: Coping With Strict Parents
    i hate my parents so much i feel like they hate me all the time theyre always looking thru my phone as if im hiding something and im…
    26 November 2020
  • trikix
    Re: Questionnaire: Are You Addicted to Social Networking Sites?
    i am a player of rocket league who accept me in a team of pro
    23 November 2020
  • Somebody
    Re: How to Deal with Pressure From Parents
    I am 15 yo,i go to medical school and its really hard for me. I have a lot to study and i can do that but the…
    4 November 2020
  • ShayShay
    Re: Coping With Strict Parents
    I am 17 years old and I just found out that I was pregnant and I told her so now it seem like she making me stay inna house or she…
    3 November 2020