Arguing with Parents

Originally written by Beth Morrisey, updated by the editorial team on 22nd May 2026

Why arguments happen

Disagreements between teenagers and parents are a normal part of growing up. You might clash over anything from what time you need to be home to how you spend your free time, your choice of friends, schoolwork, or plans for the future.

These conflicts often stem from a straightforward tension. Your parents have looked after you for years and feel responsible for your wellbeing. At the same time, you are becoming more independent and want to make your own choices. Both sides usually have reasonable points, even when it does not feel that way in the heat of the moment.

Many families experience similar tensions. It can be uncomfortable, but it tends to ease as you get older and as your parents adjust to you becoming an adult. In the meantime, how you handle disagreements can make a real difference to your relationship.

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Keeping arguments fair

When tensions rise, it is easy to say things you do not mean or to focus on winning rather than resolving the problem. Fair arguing means both sides get heard and the conversation stays respectful, even when you disagree strongly.

A few practical approaches can help:

Let each person finish speaking before you respond. Interrupting usually makes things worse.
Stick to the actual issue rather than bringing up past arguments or unrelated complaints.
Avoid dragging in siblings or other family members just to back you up. This often escalates the conflict.
Try to explain your feelings and reasoning calmly, even if you feel frustrated.
Listen to what your parents are actually saying, not just what you expect them to say.

You will not always agree, and that is fine. The goal is to understand each other better, not to prove who is right.

If disagreements keep happening and you cannot seem to move forward, family mediation or counselling might help. A neutral third party can sometimes help everyone communicate more clearly and find common ground.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Staying respectful under pressure

Keeping your composure during an argument is difficult. When emotions run high, you may feel like shouting, storming off, or saying something hurtful. These reactions are understandable, but rarely lead to positive outcomes.

If you feel yourself losing control, it is usually better to pause the conversation. You might say something like "I need a few minutes to calm down" and step away briefly. This is not the same as refusing to talk. It gives everyone a chance to cool off before continuing.

Remember that your parents are people too. They can feel hurt, worried or frustrated, just as you can. Treating them with basic respect, even when you are angry, helps preserve your relationship in the long run.

This does not mean you should accept unfair treatment or avoid standing up for yourself. It simply means choosing your words carefully and recognising that how you argue matters as much as what you argue about.

Picking your battles

Not every disagreement needs to turn into a full argument. Some things genuinely matter to you and are worth discussing seriously. Others may feel annoying in the moment but are not worth the conflict.

Before pushing back on a rule or decision, consider whether this is something you feel strongly about or whether you are just irritated. If every small issue becomes a battle, your parents may stop taking your concerns seriously when something truly matters to you.

When you do decide to raise an issue, timing can make a difference. Bringing up a sensitive topic when your parents are stressed, tired or rushing out the door will often go badly. Waiting for a calmer moment can lead to a more productive conversation.

If arguments at home are frequent, intense or leaving you feeling unsafe or distressed, outside support is available. Childline offers free confidential advice on 0800 1111 or through their website. The Mix provides support for under 25s, and Kooth offers free online counselling. You can also speak to a trusted adult at school. If family conflict is affecting your mental health, your GP can point you towards appropriate support services.

Disagreements with parents are a normal part of teenage life. Handled well, they may lead to a stronger relationship over time.

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27 questions

Ask Teen Issues a Question

Caroline 15/05/2020 at 4:11 pm

also i have bruises on my face chest pain from when my mum shoved me to the ground and have difficulty breathing also I have neck and back pain from my sister my mum grabs my hair doesn't care if I live or die and I get into trouble for defending myself

Caroline 15/05/2020 at 4:02 pm

me, my mum and my sister are always fig*hting and I am b*eing hit by my mum and my sister and I have had mu*ltiple injuries by both of them. my sister is 4.5 years younger than me. my best friend has a brother and I always get jealous because I never see them argue. my *personal *mental h*ealth and *physica*l h*e*alth are both being affected by this is thi*s normal?by the way is it worth going to s*ee my GP?

L 28/03/2020 at 12:59 pm

right so this is sort of a long story. this all began feburary of last year. i had just finished my mocks for gcse and had my results back. they were not the best results so my parents got very angry took my phone and grounded me till exams were over. I was not allowed a party for my birthday in april and i missed out on many friends events and parties. when we went into summer everything was good and i went on holiday with my mum and sister. during the time i got into an arguement with my mum as she said i was on my phone too much. she then deleted my Instagram and snapchat. i was so beyond upset. however i managed to email and get my accounts back. when i got home my dad shouted at me and we argued as e found out i topped up my phone bill by quite a bit. this was at the beginning of my long post gcse summer. i was then regrounded and had my phone taken away. this next processes when around in circles i ept sneaking oto my parents room and taking my phone to check on my social media. my dad would find out and shout at me. when we were on holiday at the end of the summer i used my sisters phone to check my messages and when my dad found out they went through my snapchat and found stupid "innappropriate" videos of my friends and being silly. he began to hit me and left 2 big bruises on my arm (which the next day he saw when i was by the pool and was concerned on how i got it not knowing it was from him) so that was the end of the summer and it was all ruined. when i got back to chool my friend lent me her old phone to use till i got mine back. my dad had a suspision of this and downladed a wifi tracker to see what devices were connected to the wifi. he shortly found out i had another phone and continued to shout and punish me. i was not abe to go out or speak to any of my friends. my parents messaged my friends to not speak to me which i later had to lie to them saying that it was only a joke. after missing many events it came to my friends party that i really wnated to go to so i faked a school trip on the same day and went to the party instead. my parents again found out and i was slaped and hit. i began to work very well on school and stay focused bringing back good grades to show my parents but still i was not able to get my freedom back. i begged so many times for them to give me a chance to start again but they refused.behind their backs i made another snapchat account as my dad took over my original one and was using that on my sisters ipad when i could. one night i asked my mum to go to a party but she wouldnt let me and my dad was out the country for work so when my mum went to bed (quite early that night) i snuck out went then came back home without anyone knowing. about a week after my parents found out that i went and my dad hit me again leaving a big red mark across my back. it contiuned again where they would threat to message my friends (which they did). then recently i was using my sisters ipad when everyone had gone to sleep to c

niamh 27/07/2019 at 12:18 pm

hi i’m niamh and i’m 13 years old, my two big sisters are moving out after the summer holidays so it’ll just be me and my mum. i’m sad about them leaving and it’ll be lonely. my mum keeps fighting with me and she thinks that i don’t want to stay with her. she keeps shouting at me and saying i’m cheeky. all i’m saying is it’ll be lonely, what do i do?

abdul 06/03/2019 at 11:22 am

i dont know what to do, i eat to much food. but im not fat, and everybody suck my QNA

JamesMcRuffles 02/11/2018 at 3:44 am

What happens when I argue respectfully or calmly, but my parents don’t. In arguments, I tend to be quiet while they yell. I tend to make a conscious effort to focus on thinking rationally, while they almost immediately resort to emotional arguments (I know this because they never stop their tirade to try and calm down, and they often yell or interrupt). I try to listen to their points and their reasoning, but they will often times prevent me from even making mine, let alone defend it.
What am I supposed to do in this situation?

Cooch Editor 21/05/2018 at 9:24 am

@Ari - well said. The critisiser must have been a teen too at some point. We all go through this stage, some more extreme than others. But don't tar all teens with the same brush.

Ari 20/05/2018 at 2:29 am

@Agent To
Your comment is pretty rude. The people here aren’t here to attack their parents (as it seems your son has done) but to have mature discussions with them. At the end of your comment, you said “that’s why it’s terrible to argue with teens like you”- implying that all of us are like your son. Fortunately, we aren’t like your son. Your comment is uneccessarily antagonistical. You are welcome to share your story, just please don’t attack the rest of us for your son’s behavior or devalue us and our problems based off your experience with him.

Agent To 15/02/2018 at 2:08 pm

Good atfernoon kids! A week ago when I came home a rainy day my oldest son stood in front of the out door, he was just standing there with his evil face and asked me to give him money for a "gift". I wondered what sort of gift he was talking about but he just wanted the money and started to srceam at me. I got shocked and in panic I called the police, he started to throw chairs at me. He took the money and ran away from me but he didn't even notice that he forgot the shoes so he came back and ran into a policeman..... that's why it's terrible to argue with teens like you!!!!

Hey it'sbee 19/12/2017 at 11:02 pm

My mom gets me in trouble even when I do the slightest things like when I breathe heavily like today when I had a bag of chips in one hand and a cookie in the other I did a huff and she got mad at me and my sister never gets in trouble when she does stuff so what should I do I need help before I just lock my door shut and never open it

FTY Editor 15/05/2017 at 12:35 pm

@Evie - concentrate on your exams as they are the most important thing in your life right now. This row will blow over and you'll forget it in a week Try and discuss the issues rationally with your parents and try not to get into another row. If you are mature about your approach, then your parents will be too. Good luck and don't worry. Freya.

Evie 14/05/2017 at 4:54 pm

Hi, I'm Evie and I'm 13. Me and my mum used to argue quite often and it had been a while before we had argued properly until today. My dad is rarely pulled into our arguments but when he is, it makes me feel like I'm not worth much. Today my mum asked me to go to the shop with her because she has a bad back and would struggle to reach things. I told her to wait one minute and got changed into some jeans. As I went to put on some quick makeup my mum got really angry at me saying that I always have my door closed. She started yelling at me and brought up a disagreement we had this morning about me not telling her about really minor things. My dad said he was going to stop getting me contact lenses to punish me, despite knowing that I'm really insecure about wearing my glasses and I have to wear them 24/7. This week is my exam week and I feel awful. What do I do?

Jen990<3 Editor 08/09/2016 at 12:30 pm

@Elle - I would just put it down to teething-problems and that all of your are adjusting to the fact your mum has a new man. As long as it blows over and you can carry on talking, then that's the main thing. You all have to make allowances for each other in new situations like this and your mum is probably feeling a bit stuck in the middle between your and her new b/f. It's always hard to accept someone new, but as long as he's a nice person you will all be trying your best to make it work. Jen

Elle 07/09/2016 at 6:40 pm

My Mum's dating someone and we just had an argument but she seems to stick up for him more than us and I don't know what to do. If I try apologise it doesn't work but in like an hour it will blow over and we'll all b friends again but i dont know.

JennyJ** 02/09/2016 at 1:55 pm

@Matty - it seems that you're the mature one and the rest of your family should take their advice from you!

Matty 06/08/2016 at 9:52 pm

My parents seem to think arguing with a calm voice and not getting angry like my sister does is being more immature it gets me so annoyed because I like to think that when I argue I'm doing my best they just shout and get really angry and normally fall out for a fiew days

Nikki 29/04/2016 at 3:21 am

I have the exact problem as yours.my parents,they never see the story from that point of my view.and it's very annoying that everything that my dad or i say,my mom will just get angry and creep out.she is always mad??and whenever i try to talk calmly and nicely,it turns into an argument and my mom always start it.she thinks every single thing i say is unfair.i'm kindaf tierd of this situation. and my dad...i'm a very positive,happy and a wise person but my dad thinks i'm still his 7 year-old girl.he always gives me family and *Advise ful??*lectures which it seems that i know every single word he is going to say and i can have a lecture even better than you so i get bored and he thinks that i can't understand him.and when i try to talk to him,he seems like:oh my little girl,you still need to grow up...it's so hard that he thinks i don't understand what he says and he treats me like that.

Sam Editor 03/06/2015 at 1:54 pm

@Popps - yes, rather than arguing sit down and have a chat to him and tell him how you feel and ask him to try to understand. When you argue the point gets lost. But if you do your best not to raise your voice but let him know that you are going through a tough time and rather than having his opposition, you would really value his support. Besides, you might not think so, but remember your dad was also a teenager once and will have gone through similar emotions, he must remember what it was like!

Popps 31/05/2015 at 9:58 pm

I have tons of arguments and disagreements with my mum and my dad. What seems to annoy me is that my dad never sees my point of the story. My mum takes it very seriously and when we're not arguing she seems to understand what I'm going through as a teen but I want my dad to see that too.Any tips?

TeenIssues Editor 11/02/2015 at 2:55 pm

@WWE WRESTLERS - as specified in the article arguing with parents is practically a hallmark of the teenaged years, but out of control arguments don’t serve anyone well. Teens who can remain calm, speak rationally and defend their points are the teens who will best preserve their relationships with their parents. The article offers some other helpful tips, but remember it's all part of growing up and finding your own identity. So, before arguing with your parents, decide what type of teen you want to be and what compromises you are willing to make in order to achieve your goals. You never know, you might just avoid an argument all together. I hope this helps.

WWE WRESTLERS 10/02/2015 at 1:19 pm

hi im always arguing with my parents they never see my side of the story and I've been getting really angry with them does anyone have tips.

Kates 05/08/2014 at 1:19 pm

What if your mum takes away your social life and you have to pay to get it back? Life without mates çan tear you appàrt.

IcePrince 05/06/2014 at 9:22 pm

What if you are speaking respectfully and you do ask for opinions but your mum calls you argumentative and disrespectful? What if you use atone she has taught you is respectful and she still says you're disrespectful? When I ask my mum questions about stuff she usually refuses to answer because it's "Disrespectful" for me to ask her about why she insists on a particular rule or why she makes me do the work around the house instead of my siblings. Is she being disrespectful by not answering? Or is she right and I'm being disrespectful for asking?

Loz 11/11/2012 at 11:52 am

Jakeass, you should just ask her if you want anything doing round the house, if no then go on your xbox. Once and a while go out tho. The weather is crappy too where I live but I always go out on the skateboard too!

jakeass 08/11/2012 at 9:36 am

What do you do when your mum is on your back casue I like to play the xbox cause the weather is always crappy (raining cold etc) and I dont really have many people I like in the area cause my friends live somewere else

Prissy 06/06/2012 at 11:59 am

Parents and teens are always going to argue, it's the way of the world, and those arguments will get out of hand at times. When that happens all the good intentions and rules go out of the window. The trick is in making up afterwards. You have to be prepared to say you're sorry when it's over and take a more reasoned approach - after all, you're the adult, so you should take the lead, and you're the parent. You also have to listen, not just to what your teen is saying, but also what they mean.

AshBieber 27/03/2011 at 2:03 pm

what to you do when your mum is ALWAYS moaning at you for not doing enough around the house, when you do more than what your brothers do?!

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