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Coping with a Crush

By: Beth Morrisey MLIS - Updated: 7 Sep 2019 | comments*Discuss
Crush crushes crushing relationships

Like their first kiss and their first love, most people can remember any number of details about their first real "crush." The butterflies in their stomachs, the dry mouths, the sweaty palms, the racing hearts - it may all sound gross, but these symptoms are exhilarating when you get to pair up with your crush for a science experiment, sit next to your crush on the bus or (the crème de la crème of crush-dom), manage to eat a whole lunch by your crush's side. Unfortunately, the title "crush" is apt as it is very easy to be crushed if you find out that (s)he does not return your affections. Don't be crushed by a crush! Instead, follow these tips for moving on and moving up to someone who deserves your special attention.

Defining a Crush

A crush, unlike a relationship, is not a two-way street. Often you'll realize that you feel a strong attraction to someone you barely know, for reasons you barely understand, and that this, in all of its glory, is a crush.

Signs of a Killer Crush

Even if you know better, falling hard for a crush can be unavoidable. Signs of a killer crush include:

  • Wanting to be near your crush, even if you don't know his/her name, and (s)he wouldn't know yours.
  • Wanting to find out as much as you can about your crush and searching for clues to "prove" your compatibility.
  • Changing your habits or schedules to coincide with those of your crush.
  • Feeling embarrassed or flustered when your crush pays attention to you.
  • Reacting nervously when you are physically close to your crush.
  • Obsessing for hours about a hypothetical future with your crush.

Coping with a Crush

Living with a crush isn't easy, in fact it's hard work. Having a crush makes it hard to concentrate, it makes it hard to eat and it especially makes it hard to sleep, even if you are hoping to meet up with your crush somewhere in your dreams. To make sure that the rest of your life doesn't fall apart for the duration of your crush,

  • Confess your crush to your friends and ask them to distract you.
  • Throw yourself into schoolwork to make sure you don't fall behind (and who knows, maybe by standing out you'll catch your crush's attention).
  • Take up a hobby that will get you out of the house and get you moving.
  • Give yourself enough time alone to fantasize about your crush, but don't let it interfere with your real life.
Living with a crush can be a wonderful, magical, painful, torturous time. Allow yourself to enjoy the frivolity of a crush, but don't let your feelings override your common sense. Don't risk your safety, or your reputation, in order to get your crush's attention, and forget about your true friends and relationships. In other words, don't irrevocably change your life for a crush that will likely disappear as quickly as it began. Ride it out, enjoy it, and let it die its natural death.

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Theres this guy(number 1) i met in a class i chose more than a year ago now,and at the start it was awkward,but we started talkining due to this other dude i sit next to who never pays attenttion(number 2) at all,eventually i realized i liked this guy (number 1),hes kind and funny and we would laugh and throw paper balls at each other in class until when i had to eventually kinda sit next to him.im so confused about what i should to i really kinda like this dude,butbi can be awkward,and what if he doesnt like me back,that would just make things even weirder,despite this other girl who thinks we would look cute/good together.,i just dont know why ive said nothing.what should i do?ghkoghgk
blue513 - 7-Sep-19 @ 10:53 PM
There is this guy I’ve told him that I like him and he told me that he likes me. So I asked him to go on a date/be my boyfriend and he said that he wasn’t ready to date anyone. What would I do? Should I wait for him to be ready of just try and get rid of my crush?
Ann - 17-Jan-19 @ 7:39 PM
@Maya - ignore your friend judging you she just jealous. Give him time coz he will tell you if he likes you. It sounds like he does:))))
Leo_I - 19-Jun-18 @ 3:07 PM
@Plop - I’m a girl and all you have to do is be sweet and funny to her. You and your friends and her friends can all go and hangout. If you text her and try and make conversation and get to know each other well, she will start to see how great of a person you are. Figure out what makes her laugh and what makes her happy & use that. Definitely become friends first though because she will feel more comfortable with you. Please don’t text her and be creepy and pushy because that’s not cool, personal experience yikes lol. Good luck m8
olivia - 19-Jun-18 @ 7:53 AM
I’ve know this guy since preschool and now we’re going into 9th grade and we just started getting to know each other better this past year. We’re going to different high schools and I’ve started to like him. We snapchat a lot but I don’t know if he likes me too. I’m afraid to tell him because he’s nice, funny, and super easy to talk to. I don’t want to lose him as a friend but I can’t deny my feelings for him. He was kind of the popular guy in my class of 28 people, but I’ve always been nice to everyone so I was well liked in my class. One of my old friends who has been pretty mean to me over the years likes him too, but I don’t think he would like her and he’s told me how she snapchat’s him a lot. My best friend doesn’t really like him and she gets judgy if she sees me texting him. Someone please help!
Maya - 19-Jun-18 @ 7:45 AM
@Plop - do girls go out with younger guys? That is the question. We don't go out with younger people in my school as it's seen as a bit weird. Just saying - you might want to think it through and compare :I
Jade10 - 7-Jun-18 @ 12:04 PM
@Lee - do you think he may have a crush on you and that is why he is hanging out with you? That might be the reason and he might think that you don't really like him. Maybe it's time to get a bit flirty with him and try to find out!
Maisie - 31-May-18 @ 1:00 PM
I've been friends with this one guy since we started high school. We didn't start becoming close until a year back, and even though we don't really have the same group of friends, we're always just hanging out together. I just realized about half a month ago that I had a huge crush on him, and now I have no idea what to do. I can't avoid him (not like I want to, anyway), but now that I've figured out that I like him, I keep making things super awkward between us. He's really sweet, but I think he's confused because it's pretty obvious that things are different, now. The thing is, I don't think he suspects anything at all, because he thinks I like someone else! What do I do?
Lee - 29-May-18 @ 2:21 AM
@maggie_w - have you even spoken to him? That would be a start. Try and strike up a conversation, be confident and just do it.
Cal - 15-May-18 @ 2:27 PM
Alright, so I'm a freshman. The second I started highschool I noticed this guy, he was in three of my classes. I realized I had a small crush growing on him, but just brushed it off and decided to ignore it. However, it never went away. It just kept getting worse. I'm pretty much at the end of grade 9 now, he wasn't in any of my classes this semester but I still think about him everyday. I've come to the conclusion that this crush will never go away, I really like this guy. I don't even want any help I just wanted to get it out there, haven't told anyone yet. So ya... I'm obsessed with him.
maggie_w - 15-May-18 @ 12:29 AM
@K - it's likely he knows if your friends know. So at least he will know who you are now :) If he is interested he'll start to catch your eye. If he talks to you - then he is interested.
Jax - 4-May-18 @ 2:34 PM
I’m 12 and have a crush on this boy called Adam. I’ve told all of my friends (because I don’t mind them knowing) but even with my friends tease me when I walks by I don’t even think he knows who I am. Although this one boy was talking to me -with Adam- and nudged him as if to say something but I don’t know, help!!!
K - 3-May-18 @ 10:32 PM
i am a softmore in high school and i like this guy but he can be rude sometimes, maybe he’s flirting or whatever but he always says he joking but some of the things he says can be hurtful, like calling me stupid or like i eat like a pig or whatever but i dont know my friends say that’s how boys flirt but i’m not sure..... do i like a totally horrible person that hates me? or i’d that just him flirting..?
confused - 30-Mar-18 @ 5:23 AM
@lauryn - I'd wait to see if you get any encouraging signs. If there are bits where he's cold to you, I'd probably not say anything yet. Just continue being friends and trying to spend more time together. My crush went cold when I told him. If he likes you, he'll make an effort, simple. <3
Flisskj - 29-Mar-18 @ 12:13 PM
I’m a girl in 10th grade and have a crush on a friend. not very close but i’ve had a crush on him for a few months now and i can’t confess my crush because if he dosent feel the same way then i’ll have to spend the rest of the school year in the same class awkwardly and we have another class junior year. what should i do? should i take the risk and confess my feelings ( i dont know if he feels the same, it’s pretty hot and cold) or should i just try to get over my crush and remain friends??
lauryn - 28-Mar-18 @ 5:39 AM
@Lovegirl - if he told you he just wants to be friends then you need to listen to him, move on and find someone else who loves you too. We all hang around too much waiting for that special person to love us but we are wasting time. We need to find someone who loves us back.
MinniM - 5-Mar-18 @ 10:20 AM
Hi,im a girl in 7th grade..my crush told me that he loves me alot and i told him too but he said that he thinks we should just be friends.I said ok,but i cant get him out of my mind.someone pls help me!! Its a killer crush we know each other since 3rd grade and i like him since start and likes me since 5th grade...how can i cope up being in love but being friends
Lovegirl - 4-Mar-18 @ 10:43 AM
@Lovesick - if you think he likes you too - just go with it. :)))
jessie - 23-Feb-18 @ 11:16 AM
Hi.. ?? I’min 5th grade and I have a crush on a friend that’s really close.. we have know each other since 1st grade..It’s a killer crush.. I think he likes me ?? He flirts so yeah.. Anywyas can anyone help me with this??
Lovesick - 22-Feb-18 @ 9:13 PM
I had a crush on the same guy for three years and I had no idea how to get rid of that feeling but we used to be friends when he first started at my school but when I told him liked him, I said to him we need to have break because my feelings were getting in the way when I told him he was kind of upset but we still talk but not as often as we used to. The nights after I told him I cried myself to sleep I thought I lost everything.
h.p - 6-Jan-18 @ 2:42 AM
@Cherry Crush - forget him and move on to someone new. Having a crush on your ex b/f's brother is way too complicated.
Oggau - 5-Jan-18 @ 3:09 PM
I have a crush on this boy. He is my old bff's brother but now that we don't hang out I never see him. I think that he used to like me but not anymore. What do I do?
Cherry Crush - 1-Jan-18 @ 7:21 PM
What happens if you have a killer crush on two boys but don't know which one to choose because their equally as awesome?! ??
Lilly - 21-Nov-17 @ 7:49 PM
@Aleeya - gosh - that must be difficult with twins and if you can't differentiate! Becs.
B<3 - 11-Sep-17 @ 2:31 PM
The worst thing is that I'm going to need to leave my school and go back to my own country soon.. Dating him in a long distance relationship may be difficult and might change my heart and break his heart as well so I'm scared... I have no choice but to leave the country soon.. I hate myself because all these are making my life miserable and if I make him involved.. His life would be just as bad...
Aleeya - 10-Sep-17 @ 8:02 PM
My crush is a year older than me, so I don't bump into them often at school since different grades and years has differently class and break timings. And yes, I said them. I've always has different crushes, some which already knew my interest in them but I tend to move on because I'm slightly impatient, but this time there's a boy.. I can't differentiate between him and his twin but I'd have to guess according to their personalities. I don't know his name but he was the only crush that made my heart dropped inside me and made me going mad for days and days.. ONLY... I've always hated school and I don't really have desperate needs to see my friends often but he was the one I was excited to see, each day in the morning, during break and after school. AGHH!! Thanks to him, all I do everyday is smile at the thought of him...
Aleeya - 10-Sep-17 @ 7:56 PM
@Peetshes - I am sort of in the same situation as you. Except I've never asked him out. I'm no expert or anything, but when he said "no," how did he say it?? Did he laugh while he said it, or did he look serious? Was he looking into your eyes, at the ground, someone else, etc.? Also, when he acts around his friends and the other girl, is it different from how he acts towards you?
MagicalFruits - 23-Jul-17 @ 4:40 AM
@Meme - the fact he's 15 and you are 13 is a big age difference. He might like you......but will he cross the age divide? Boys in my school don't go out with girls two years younger even if they fancy them. He might like you a lot - but he might not ask you out because you are too young. That's the only problem I can see.
Rose00 - 10-Jul-17 @ 1:54 PM
This was before my crush got a girlfriend. Once this guy asked me out (and stroked my head twice?)I told my sister and she said I'm so gonna tell him (twister guy) that a guy asked you out he'll be really jealous or beat him up (because of the stroking)or both. now twister guy has a pretty thin and fragile build but I know he could take someone down if he had to not that he is that kind of guy. Also something really weird happened I was sitting next to my sister she was talking to her friends including him and I had had a drug talk I found quite interesting and joked I would want to try them and he messed the group chat and said if caity really wants weed or whatever I'll give it to her. one of them said dude she is 12 wtf(I was 12 then)another said lol, bet she actually already has some (I don't) my sister was like no just no it's time to stop then he replied but she is good but srsly if she does tell me. Ahhhhhh I'm pretty sure he smokes too not that it bothers me I like him either way. He is a good guy :) and I know he cares about me. The other of the guys in the group is like an actual brother to me he is easier to talk to about my problems bc my sister can sometimes be pretty blunt about situations.its nice to have an older brother figure I've always wanted an older brother sometimes he even teases me about crushes *clears throat* his gf is also really sweet. Anyways my crush is going into year 11 this year and me into year 9 should I give up on him? I really like him like so much. I know he holds some sort of feelings towards me I just wish I had told him about the crush when I had a chance :( thanks for reading it means a lot for someone to listen
Meme - 8-Jul-17 @ 9:54 AM
This could take a while... - so my sister has this friend they've been friends for about 5 months and I really really like him like my day is horrible if I don't see him. He is 15 and I just turned 13 my sister and her friends are the 'emo kids' so am I so the other guy in their friend group when he slept over at ours he said let's call him twister guy (our nickname for him) he won at twister 8 times in a row) had an obsession over me it might be weird but it made me happy that he acknowledges me. My 2 best friends know about the crush and my sister I think. so at the start of school everyone meets up and talks including me if my friends aren't there. He ALWAYS say hi to me at school in the morning after school whenever I walk into the room. After school when everyone was talking he said bye to me then he said I love you I'll miss you. (He has done this twice).my sister and her closest friend laughed at him and my sister even did an impression of him saying it. I always catch him staring at me. Will continue in pt 2
Meme - 8-Jul-17 @ 9:13 AM
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