How to Deal with Pressure from Parents

Originally written by Beth Morrisey, updated by the editorial team on 20th June 2026

Why parents put pressure on you

Most parents genuinely want the best for their children. The problem comes when their idea of what's best doesn't match yours. This gap between your views and theirs can lead to tension, frustration and arguments that leave everyone feeling worse.

Parents often don't realise they're being pushy. They might think they're offering helpful advice or steering you in the right direction. From your side, it can feel like constant criticism or an attempt to control your choices. Neither of you is necessarily wrong. You're just seeing things from different angles.

Pressure from parents can show up in various ways. It might be about school work, career choices, friendships, how you spend your time, or how you present yourself. Some parents push openly with direct comments and rules. Others use subtler methods like sighs, disappointed looks, or repeated "suggestions" that feel more like demands.

Cultural background can also play a significant role. In some families, expectations around education, career paths or lifestyle choices are shaped by traditions and values passed down through generations. Understanding where your parents' expectations come from, even when you disagree with them, can help you respond more effectively. That said, your feelings matter too, and there are practical ways to manage these situations without damaging your relationship.

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Keep your cool during disagreements

When your mum reminds you for the fifth time today to sort out your room, or your dad makes another comment about your homework, the temptation to snap back is strong. Losing your temper might feel satisfying in the moment, but it rarely helps.

Shouting matches tend to make parents dig in harder. They may see your reaction as proof that you're not mature enough to make your own decisions. Even when you feel irritated, staying calm can help open up a healthier dialogue between you and your parents.

This doesn't mean bottling everything up. It means choosing your moment and your tone. If you feel yourself getting wound up, it's fine to say you need a few minutes before you talk about it. Walk away, cool down, then come back when you can speak without raising your voice.

Speaking calmly signals several things to your parents: that you've thought about the issue seriously, that you're willing to have a two-way conversation, and that you're prepared to listen as well as talk. These signals make them far more likely to hear you out.

Try to avoid accusatory language. Saying "you always" or "you never" puts people on the defensive. Phrases like "I feel" or "I think" tend to work better because they express your point without attacking theirs.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Prepare what you want to say

If there's a specific issue causing ongoing friction, think through your position before you raise it. What exactly do you want? Why do you want it? What are the potential objections, and how would you answer them?

Parents are more likely to take you seriously if you can explain your thinking clearly. While articulating specific points can often be more effective, it's also valid if you initially struggle to express how you feel. Sometimes just naming the pressure you're under is a starting point, even if you can't immediately explain why it bothers you.

It can help to acknowledge their concerns as part of your argument. If they're worried about your exam results and you want more freedom at weekends, you might explain how you plan to balance both. Showing you understand their perspective doesn't mean you agree with it. It just demonstrates you've considered it.

Think about when to have the conversation. Trying to discuss something serious when everyone's tired, rushed or already stressed will usually go badly. Look for a moment when you're both relatively relaxed and have time to talk properly, and when you're both emotionally ready to listen to each other.

Be prepared to compromise. You may not get everything you want, but a middle ground that both sides can accept is better than an ongoing battle.

When pressure becomes a bigger problem

Some parental pressure goes beyond the normal tensions of family life. If you feel constantly criticised, controlled, or like nothing you do is ever good enough, that can affect your mental health and self-esteem.

Pressure that tips into bullying or emotional manipulation, or makes you feel unsafe, is a different matter entirely. If you're in this situation, talking to someone outside the family can help you work out what's reasonable and what isn't.

Childline offers free, confidential support for young people up to the age of 19 in the UK. You can call them on 0800 1111, or use their online chat service. They're trained to help with family issues and can talk things through without judging you or your parents.

If you're over 19 and struggling, your GP can point you towards local services if the situation is affecting your wellbeing. Organisations like Mind offer information on mental health support, though they focus on mental health broadly rather than family issues specifically.

In most cases, parental pressure eases as you get older and demonstrate you can handle responsibility. Many young people find that relationships with their parents improve once both sides adjust to the shift towards adulthood. In the meantime, staying calm, communicating clearly and knowing when to seek outside support will help you manage the difficult patches.

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118 questions

Ask Teen Issues a Question

Revvyvy 13/02/2021 at 12:17 pm

It should be my father or my mother are the one pressuring me. But no, it’s my aunties. I am so devastated, send help.

Revvyvy 13/02/2021 at 12:16 pm

It should be my father or my mother are the one pressuring me. But no, it’s my aunties. I am so devastated ?? send help.

Z 11/11/2020 at 11:30 pm

My parents pressured me into applying to 2 universities I didn’t want to go to, and if I were to get into either they would definitely make me go. The university I want to go to is one they both do not like and don’t want me going there, but me myself would like to. I am conflicted with making my parents happy and not disappointing them and just wanting me to be happy with where I am. There is only one university I feel really comfortable going to where I know other people going, and I am so scared of going to another place by myself and only because my parents wanted me to.. I just don’t know how to make everyone happy

Somebody 04/11/2020 at 6:51 am

I am 15 yo,i go to medical school and its really hard for me.
I have a lot to study and i can do that but the problem is that my parents force me and pressure me too much about school.My dad is giving me a test every day for every subject,if i get everything alright i can have a little rest and go too sleep but if i have only one anwser wrong he gonna throw the test and the subject at me and gonna tell me to study and i spent the morning at school the day for studying the night for tests and i have no free time except for sunday thats the only time i can be free and do what i want...but i cant anymore i talked my mom about this but it dosent seem that anything is changed i will get better tho ant releasing this from my mind it is a good feeling.

Hitchm 22/10/2020 at 4:14 am

Hi i just wanted to share my problems. I am in a current situation right now that i want to cry everday because my family pressuring me about what course i wanted to choose in college and I feel pressure beacuse I haven’t choose anything that I really want to do in my life. Please i want some advice.

help 06/10/2020 at 1:46 pm

i am at the point where i just don't know what to do anymore. it probably sounds so stupid but i just feel way too pressured by my dad that i just want to either hurt myself, or hurt somebody else and it is not good at all. i understand that all he does for me is to help me and to benefit me but i just feel so pressured now that i honestly just want to run away or give up. my dad currently wont speak to me because we got in an argument about how he wants me to spend more of my time learning about geography, or maths or science and i finally just told him what i've always wanted to say and just said "but i just don't care about that stuff". because i genuinely do not. it just doesn't interest me at all. it bores me so much. (i don't mean to sound ignorant as well, and i know there are so many more people out there that have bigger problems, but its gotten to the point that he just wants to change the person i am and it is so painful to have to hear him talking down on me all the time). although it felt good telling him that i just dont care, but he is so incredibly angry with me. So yeah, i just don't know what to do, as he wont speak to me and wanted some advice.
Thank you

Libby 28/09/2020 at 9:55 am

Im in 7th grade and my classes are starting in 1 week my problem is that even when im in vecation my parents still asks me to study even now that my classes is almost starting i feel like my parents is giving me more pressure than my school actualy i often sleep late because im worried that when i wake up the first thing i have to do is my chores then study my parents always says that they just want the best for me but i dont feel the same

Libby 28/09/2020 at 9:43 am

Im in grade 7 already but my parents keeps forcing me to study my classes is starting in 1 week i wanna say no but because they kept doing this to me since i was 7 i dont think i can

leah 18/09/2020 at 1:29 am

i am 13 and in 8th grade. i just started 8th grade 1 week ago and i dont understand any of my
social studies work and my social studies teacher is the worst. he is nice but gives us too much work.
especialy because we are all still adjusting to the way school is now. i have to go to school every other day so i do virtual half the time. when i am at home pop logs on to my google classroom and looks at my work. i do everything accept the things i dont understand. i am "missing" two social studies assignments but i just dont understand them. so my social studies teacher called home and told my nana and pop i was missing assignments. i just got home from a dress fitting for my step mothers wedding and i am getting yelled at as soon as i walk in the door. my nana told me that she got that call. she also told me that if i am missing anymore assignments she will take away my phone my tv and take me out of school of rock. she is 51 years old. she couldnt possibly remember what school is like. and it is even harder now so she went outside after yelling at me and i cried for like 20 minutes from stress and her threatening to completely ruin my dream of becoming famous i want to talk to them about how much pressure they are putting on me but i cant. the last time i talked back because she doesnt want me on facetime with boys in my room and i said no and she yelled at me and if i ever
get in trouble i am either yelled at or get slapped. one time i forgot to make my bed and got slapped 3 times. they want me to be clean neat and have perfect grades. they dont get that none of that is going to happen.it is too much pressure for a 13 year old girl.

RAEG 16/09/2020 at 8:07 am

I'm currently 13 and in 8th grade. I come from an Indian family, and we are from a quite well-to-do background. Lately, they've been pressuring me to 'be like other kids'. Just because some of the children I know do better than me. Not academically (I usually get straight As), but socially. I am naturally a quiet person and do not feel the need to speak and interact with others too often. Due to this, my parents, especially my mother, say they feel embarrassed when I don't talk to 'their friends'. I do not have many friends, because they feel I'm 'too mature and smart' for them. They can't understand me. Whenever I try to talk to my parents about it, they simply scold me and tell me to do what they want - because 'they've seen everything', 'you don't know what's good for you', and 'you're just a child'. Hah, they might just marry me off when I finish college. Due to this, I took to online platforms where you can talk with other people. It has been a year and I have many online friends with whom I can talk to and share my opinions. Most of them are years older than me - some being in college and some in senior secondary school. I can talk online without being judged and that's what I want. I usually speak up for myself, even if that means I'll have my parents shouting at me at the top of their voices. I don't really care now. Because no matter how much anyone tells you to follow their command, you're only going to end up doing what you feel right.

Roobug1509 04/09/2020 at 8:14 pm

I feel like my parents are pressuring me to a something I only just wanted to try it out

Dylan 30/08/2020 at 12:09 am

I run cross country for my schools team and while I make it to most practices we run around four miles and as a teen I get minimal sleep around 4 hours each night. I work on a farm and they want me to work on the farm all day after getting around 3.5 hours of And run four miles at cross country practice even though I can barely stand of exhaustion, how do I convince them to decide to allow me to only do one of the two?

eli 08/08/2020 at 4:36 pm

right now,i am preparing for jee and i feel so much pressure. i just wanna sleep and never get up.

Help 05/08/2020 at 8:42 pm

My parent always pressure me.to be the best. Pressuring me to.be able to make them money.... It make me having constant stomach ache and depression.

Idk 16/07/2020 at 3:24 pm

My parents put a lot of pressure on me and my momther's hand is mostly in it. She wants me to do her atuff only and keeps taking things away from me and when I ask them back she says don't even think about it. I am not comfortable in the way they make me study as well and I am too tensed and keep getting anxiety attacks.

Ranu 08/07/2020 at 10:05 am

I'm 11th class now my online classes are going on our classes start at 7 :30 am and end at 4 from 4 to 7 again study hours in will do my assignment every day but my father say that I'm not good at studies and I always waste my time. He also say that this isn't a proper way to study due to my online classes im suffering from a lot of headache but my parents doesn't care

Sasuke 25/06/2020 at 9:04 am

Same my mom doesn't understands my feelings and is always saying I time pass..even when I am viewing some light joke between working for hours ..she says I should make geek friends and say I spend a lot a time in phone sending them homework and that I shouldn't be friends with them..she only thinks that I should get 100 marks in boards and threatens me to do so..and then underestimates me that by the way I am studying I will not be able to get 70 percent too.even she enrolled me into my tuition though I told her class 10 is easy she thought that I will fail without it and pressrurises me to work her way to get full in boards

unknown 18/06/2020 at 5:09 pm

I am in lockdown and do all of my school work at home. I dont know why but I have not been doing enough and the quality of my work is bad. I have a lot of pressure on my work from my mum and don't know what to do. Can someone please give me some advice?

Lily 08/06/2020 at 3:28 pm

I am 18 and i am going to uni soon.i am not a really open person with my family because i felt there is nothing to talk about.i dont know sometimes i feel some kind of injustice when i did something then my mom getting angry and take my phone away but when my brother did the same thing nothing happen dude.but i am still okay with it .but i am getting annoyes when my aunty start to talk about my body and keep saying that i am fat.Dude,before you say anything about my body take a mirror and reflect yourself first .I am not insecure at all about my body but the keep finding my weak spot .What the hell with those people.They keep asking me what is my problem abviously they are my problem ..they keep asking me to do what ever seem normal in society eye.I am not hoping they understand me cause they just think i am rabel ,problematic ..just think whatever you want..i hope the pendamic will end soon and i will start my uni life happily

Ashleen 05/06/2020 at 10:24 am

Hi I am in form 3.I used to be a performer but suddenly i started becoming worse in class 7. Since i started high school my mum normally scolds me and calls me names for not performing well.She gives me to much work and engages me in too many study websites and she expects me to do everything since she is inspecting it every evening.I know she is trying as much as possible to help me but still i think this too much pressure for me. Later in the evening she books online classes for me to attend. I tried opening up to her to tell how i feel to much pressure and that she should let me at least control my academic life but all she said was that is nonsense that those many websites are just mandatory.She compares me to other kids in class but one thing she never tries to understand is that i am a slow learner and what the smartest kids in class can achieve isn't the same thing i am capable to achieve.When i show her my work at the end of the day she doesn't appreciate what i have done instead she says i am lazy.Things things make make feel like i am a worthless person!!!

KKSM 19/05/2020 at 7:52 am

Hi !
I'm a girl of 15 from vizag , andhra pradesh , india . I am now studying in class 12 and going to appear for NEET . I don't know why my mother is getting so frustrated and stressed and thus resulting in giving pressure to me for my appearance in the exam . I still dont understand why although i am a good student and try hard to get my best out of anything in which i am in , my mom still wants something more from me which i dont know that i am lacking . I dont get my mother when she tells me that " ONLY IF YOU RE LOCKED UP IN YOUR ROOM STUDYING FOR HOURS TOGETHER THE N ITSELF IM STUDYING OR ELSE I AM NOT STUDYING " . I just get into tears whenever i listen to those words from my mothers mouth . I feel very stressed and frusrated .
Hope i would be able to cope up with this present situation as soon as possible

AnnieN 29/04/2020 at 6:37 pm

I have very strict parents. I always thought so. They put high demands on me. I've never been badly scolded for bad grades, but their strictness shows in a different way - in their attitude towards me. At the same time, I am very grateful to them for their efforts. Although we do not always find understanding, and sometimes I am very hurt because of injustice, I appreciate them very much. But I agree that sometimes it is unbearable to stand their unjustified criticism.

mawoo 02/04/2020 at 3:30 pm

im currently in 11th. ive most of the time scored well in maths and my own dream is accounting. ive gone to a counselor n done aptitude tests and everything suggested accounting or business as my future career. however my parents are forcing me to do engineering. they changed my stream to pcmc without asking me and enrolled me into an academy even tho i refused to do pcmc. now im sick of pretending like ive accepted it. i just want to do what i want but idk how to convince my parents coz ive tried everything such as speaking nicely or screaming.

dk 16/03/2020 at 12:51 pm

I've tried all of these methods before. I told my dad he puts too much pressure on me, and I told him that that is why I do so well in class, but the moment it comes to writing my finals, I mess up, because I keep thinking about what my dad would say if I didn't get 100%, or how he is going to be embarrassed. He said, "You don't need to feel pressure, because I am not putting pressure on you. But I will always be proud of you." But he never shows it and it always gets me thinking whether he actually meant it, or was it just a way to shut me up, because he was annoyed at me crying.
I also told my dad that I wanted to go towards engineering. But the truth is, even though I may be good at studies, I never had the interest in it, and everyone is always telling me, "Do what you like." But it makes it impossible for me to do what I like, especially when my parents keep telling me to choose a "good career". How do I even tell them that I want to become a basketball player, or a musician. How do I tell them that I want to sign up for the state basketball team? The last time I told my dad that, he said it was a waste of time, and that I should concentrate on my studies.

bunny 14/01/2020 at 7:46 am

My parents are not understanding. They are not open minded like the rest of my friends. I do want to continue studying but the pressure that they give me is too much. They want me to go to one specific pathway to further my education but I told them that there are other ways to further my education but they are not listening to me. They don't understand that I have a chance of not getting accepted into the school but they are always telling me to be positive. I am being positive but I just want them to support me, no matter what the result is. And yet, it's such a difficult thing for them to do. I tried telling them how I feel but they would not listen. I feel like ending my life so that I won't have to go through their pressure and stress.

libra 11/12/2019 at 3:09 pm

My mother usually told me to try harder at school and she sometimes misunderstands me for lacking of. Although I just want to keep my study average to focus on my favorite subject, she demand me to be better, My father is always drunk he swears and quarrel with my mother a lot. Because he want a boy than a girl like me. He wishes I were a boy instead. I were really stresses. I think I might suffer from low self esteem issues because I feel anxious, distressed and afraid of doing something wrong. But I couldn't tell anyone about that. What should I do?

Shivam 06/12/2019 at 5:38 pm

I am seriously frustrated with my life...... Why is NEET everything.... I dont know.... I wish if i was born in a rich family.... My parents will never have to expect that much from me..... I wish if indian eductation system was kind off different.... I wish if i had some other option to get there, where i wanted to be...... I dont know.. I feel like quiting...... Maybe this is my last try.... I don't know what will happen if i didn't make this time.... I don't know.... Too much tension and pressure.... But its okay... At tge end nobody cares rather than your parents..... See that is the thing why i am still trying..... All the best to every one struggling out there... Just hold on.... One day everything will be fine... Just look in the mirror and smile ??

_representing.south. 24/11/2019 at 8:34 pm

Hey there! I'm a Bengali girl who's currently 14 and in year 10 (9th grade). I live in London and am the oldest of three siblings and there's a lot of pressure put on me by not just my parents, but by every single person i know. I am struggling in maths big time and my school hasn't got around to having extra maths classes and everyone is putting the blame on me for those classes not happening. What my family don't understand is that everyone is different and that times have changes and so has school since they've all been. My mum and dad have both been through my phone twice each, they've taken it away from me and aren't going to give it back until i'm 18 years old. She's ban me from social media and made me cut ties from all my friends. I NEED HELP! social media and using my phone for a maximum of 2-3 hours on my phone a day. They've been stressing me since the start of year 10 non-stop hard core. This led to me using my phone a lot more as it was my place to escape, but no they don't understand. I feel like this is weakening my relationship with Allah. They are always comparing me to other children and always making me feel bad about myself. They always call me dumb and stupid and tell me that i'm unwanted. I don't know what to do. I feel alone, i cry to sleep every night, i'm told not to tell anyone because they'll get social serivces invloved. I really need help i'm struggling with life!??????????????????

Me 13/11/2019 at 1:13 pm

Hi my mom thinks i don’t want to study but i really do

User 13/09/2019 at 5:09 pm

I always get told off by my mum every single day, pretty much.

I get told off when I make a little mistake and been told that that is not the way to act in the society and everyone would bully you.

Now I am currently doing my GCSEs, and I get told off whenever I get tired or stressed as I try to relax. She thinks I should work all the time and have no break except from sleep. I am misunderstood.

Also I also get blamed on littte things.

san 23/06/2019 at 12:46 pm

I got low marks and my mother is so mad I don't know what to do sometimes I feel like killing myself help me I am depressed

°Nutella° 16/06/2019 at 6:48 am

I have gotten principal's award many many times all through out elementary. I never once got an "F" and still, in every competition I have ever been in, I never got last place, only 2nd or 1rst for 6 years. I got my first "F" ever in 6th grade and my parents took away all of the electronics I had, and accused them. A year went by and I started getting lower in school and apparently those 6 years of success meant nothing to my parents. I'm the only child in the family that ever got principal's award and surprisingly president's award. So of course my parents had high expectations for me. Now that I think about it, I never once went to a friends house, invited a friend over, or hung out with them after school, my parents didn't like it when I hung out with other people. I actually had to rewrite this over and over cause I never talked to a group of people before hah.

ME 03/06/2019 at 7:33 am

I am having trouble trying to reach expectations.
My older siblings have all gotten top overall of their year level/grade.
When they graduated, the got top overall of the school!
I get discouraged because I don't know if I can do it!

Lil_queen 19/03/2019 at 2:10 pm

Since this school year started I’ve wanted to get to a cool school. I go there for extra curriculars, but I want to study there next year. There’s a serious exam to get there though, and I have to work really hard. My parents pay a lot of money for those extra curriculars, and it was fine until the middle of the year. I felt like I’m tired all the time and this feeling became stronger and stronger. I forgot to mention that I got some extra classes and activities every day. So I started feeling tired all the time. I lost motivation to study and stopped working so hard, I feel like I don’t care anymore. Every time I try to get at least a half an hour of rest my mum starts shouting that if i don’t want to do anything - ok, she doesn’t care etc. And I just can’t keep up with all that I have to do, those upcoming exams and expectations from my mum. Some days I manage to cut half an hour of freedom and I play my PS at this time, but them mum comes shouting that I’m lazy and that I’ll definitely fail the exam again.
Because of all this I started self harming, I fail myself because I know I should work way harder, but I just can’t focus on nothing anymore.

Jabsbshh 17/03/2019 at 7:30 am

I am going to appear for an entrance exam. My father registered me for a class that teach for the same. One day he scolded and demotivated unnecessarily; why I don't know! I am fed up of him.

Shelly 07/03/2019 at 8:41 am

Before my dad talks he had to make noise he clicks and a pen how annoying when I’m trying to watch TV I can do the same thing to works both ways

Han 13/12/2018 at 3:16 am

My parents expect straight As and if i get a B they will take everything. I’m in the 10 grade taking honors classes that are for 11 grade. I have volleyball everyday for three hours and they want me to get a job and complain that I don’t do anything around the house. I’m sorry but you want me to get all As play volleyball get a job and do stuff around the house. This has led to many problems I have. Depression anxiety and an eating disorder.

Jax 13/12/2018 at 1:25 am

I live in a house with my dad, step mom, older step brother, and younger brother and my dad constantly puts me under a lot of pressure about my grades. For example on my most recent report card I got one 80 and I got lectured for about 15 minutes and because of that the other day I had a big project and I was sobbing in my room until I threw up because of how stressed I was.

One_sun 11/12/2018 at 11:26 pm

I live in a house of five and i'm the eldest and only daughter in the family, my parents put a lot of pressure on me about my grades and cheerleading, they expect my grades to be no lower than a B, and if i slip up they take everything away from me. I've tried talking to them about it but they think that i'm just being "lazy" and they get really mad, earlier last month I was diagnosed with long term depression and my parents said " she's not depressed she's just playing a game thinking she can get whatever she wants." those are the exact words of the people I call "parents", they deny the fact that I have depression and it angers me. Since I am the eldest I HAVE to follow up to the expectations of my parents and listen to the rules that they put in place for me. They pressure me constantly about my grades and keeping them at a high status so I can get into college... but as a 15 year old I shouldn't have to tell my parents " I don't want to go to college."... no parent should pressure their child ever!

sad but cute 15/10/2018 at 9:20 pm

since i was a kid my mother always put presure on me at my grades she always compares me to my half big sister because she graduated college.....and i im in middle school at the moment i have nothing compare to my sister.....every card realising day comes im scared because if i have a failing grade she treatens me but i kinda understand her she wanted me to have a good future......but putting presure on your daughter is not ok .......in school im happy even tho i know inside that im just faking it...i laugh with my friends but that laugh isnt true.....i feel so depressed sometimes i think i just wanna die and leave all my problems but i think if i suicide my problem wont be gone if i do that unless i solve them...if i suicide the problems that i left will just increase ....my cousin told me(she all know about this)that "if your angry use that to prove yourself to them that when that day(when i graduate)come go fulfill your dreams and they will watch you rise from the top"YEAH! i cant do that to all the pressure the eating me but tho thats a good advance isnt it?im a happy lil kid in the past but now i dont know how to be happy again.....

KeL Editor 11/06/2018 at 11:45 am

@Heart - It is unlawful for a parent or carer to smack their child, except where this amounts to ‘reasonable punishment’. I'd speak to a mentor at school, especially if you are self-harming :(

Heart 09/06/2018 at 1:02 pm

My mum puts too much presure on me, she keeps on looking at evrything i do and screams if i dont do something right, if i tell her something i did with my friends at school she screams and tells me to focus on my work even though i get straight A s. She compares me to other kids and tells me that i will never be like them which put my self esstem down. She hits me if she thimks i did something and if my siblings did something she screams at me and in public she vompares me to other people and tells them that im a bad child. I tried to tell her but she screams at me and never lets me see my other family members(like my aunt). If i say no to her i get yelled at. I self harm now, any advice?

Piya 05/06/2018 at 5:22 pm

Hi,
since i was in 5th my mom and my big sis always mentally manipulated me .now i'm 17 i have no social life..all i get is pressure to study..i score strait A's but my mom nevr appriciates it never instead she compares my marks with other like my relatives and friends and she and my sister wants me to get into medical..and my opinion was not even considered and if i tell that i didn't want medical..they would start screaming and shouting at me. And i was never given free time to relax from my study and never to leave my room..for like 2years continously..after school..i used to go inside my room and study.i never told this things to anyone..but today happend was i didn't get into medical..and they a mentally killng me ..and i can't take this anymore...i'm having death thoughts..and..i can't..it's like i'm not existing..

seline4375 22/04/2018 at 11:29 pm

I always have straight A in school; I have never gotten below it. I started studying for SAT while I was in sixth grade. I play the violin, piano, drum, golf, and is also on the school swim team. But the pressure that my parents put on me is starting to strain my relationship with my friends. I have a practically non-existent social life. My older brother has already cracked under pressure and I fear I will do the same. SAT is nearing and my parents are pushing me more than ever. I wake up at five o'clock every morning to practice golf for two hours. I have five AP classes I have to deal with afterward. Right after school, I have two hours of orchestra followed by an hour of band class and an hour of piano practice. Then, an hour of swim practice. Then I have to finish my AP homework and sleep at eleven o'clock, then repeat. Is there any way to lessen the pressure?

riley 07/03/2018 at 10:17 am

for religious reasons i have to study i think some is wrong with my mum so i called my dad and she said if i call my dad she would do something to me so i did it made it worst for my mum because he missed his work and my mum kept screaming she was not normal i was scared what should i have done nothing? no so i called my dad to see if she was okay i don't like her and she said i cant do it and said a thousand bad stuff things she made a very big deal

TeenIssues Editor 01/03/2018 at 11:04 am

Many parents are currently worried about their children's phone use, and for good reason. If your parents think your phone use may be taking you away from the most important studies, they will naturally voice their concerns. I'm sure your parents are very proud of your results. You have to honestly ask yourself whether you think you are on the phone too much and whether it could possibly have an effect on your studies. The transition to high school can be stressful and it may take a while to settle in. However, I'm sure you will settle in and I'm sure you'll do great.

suzie163 28/02/2018 at 8:18 pm

Hi, I am doing A-Levels and I am in year 12. During my childhood, I had shown interest in going to medical school. But now since I am doing A-Levels (Biology, Chemistry, and Psychology), I am struggling with my grades a lot and I just found out recently that I actually don't want to study Medicine in university. I want to do either Biology or Forensic Science in university and I have talked to my parents about not wanting to study medicine. They said that I must study medicine as they have allowed me to go abroad to study A-Levels just to get into top medical schools. It has been stressing me out so bad and demotivating me from my studies. My parents have also starting to emotionally manipulate me saying that everybody is so proud of me right now because I am going off to study medicine but they will no longer be proud of me if I change the subjects I want to study in university. This basically means that if I do not study medicine, I will be the black sheep of the family. How do I convince my parents to let me do the subjects I want to study?

HenJack 28/02/2018 at 2:15 am

My parents have always expected A's and B's. I have straight A's in all of my classes, and I don't think I've ever had a C. This year I started high school, and the transition has always been hard for me. I have all A's and two C's right now, and my parents focused on those two C's and not my 5 other straight A's... They accuse me of "being on my phone too much". I'm on my phone as much as an average teenager and maybe even less. I wake up at 5 AM every morning to work on football drills and improve in football. I was benched later in the season and I got yelled at. Ridiculous. Only three more years till I'm out, right?

Amy S Editor 26/02/2018 at 11:14 am

@jo - is there anyone you can talk to about your issues such as a close relation like aunt or uncle who might speak to your parents on your behalf? Can you try to reason with your mum and dad and have an adult conversation with them? Your teachers might help too. Talking is the main thing.

jo 25/02/2018 at 7:29 pm

hello
my parents are really strict always have been since i was younger. im the first born child out of three and im always been the test child, from homework to movies. when it took my sats in primary school i was 10 and i had to revise everyday, my younger sibling who is now taking them does not intact all she does is dance and play around our house. my middle sister who is year 9 is expected high results. and me im an average b/a student who moves mid of the class, im good at everything but not excellent in anything either. i had problems with depression in year 9 after i lost all my fiends i was emotionally bullied and i slipped into bulimia,my parents never found out. i managed to push through it and got my own help online but new friends. im taking my GSCE's this year which adds extra pressure from my parents im working really hard but currently have a lack of motivation and effort and i dont know whether this is due to my depression or the fact that my parents keep yelling at me and putting me down. my mock results didn't go to plan and my whole year didn't do well either. i normally get compared to other people why couldn't you be more like her.. but when i suggest i have the same results they yell that this is me and not them. im called a failure and constantly told that im not good enough and that they dont care about me or my GSCE's because there my now thing. but it never stays that way. im having problems with friends and recently got played by a guy i was in love with. my mum only knows bits of what happened but she still uses it against me in arguments "rejection because its you". i was slapped over the head by dad because i wasn't revising. i havent seen a day when i havent cried myself to sleep sandwiched for a different life and had to wake up in the morning pretending that everything fine. im scared for my sanity i feel like im drowning and i dont know how to stop it.

cats 27/01/2018 at 11:04 am

my parents have always pressurized me into doing things I don't really like. I am in the IB and have lot of homework everyday, and on top of that they want me to go to gym, play a sport, learn a musical instrument. I'm honestly done with life. In order to fit all of this stuff i am forced to leave my hobbies behind. And now that the college apps are going to be done I need my ACT/ SAT scores. My first attempt at ACT and i got a 22, my parents were extremely disappointed and now i have to give act again along with SAT. The best part is im not even sure whether ill apply to the US cause my mother is adamant that i apply to the UK. My life is literally a joke. Also when i show her colleges i like, she always rejects them by telling me that they are not good enough. I seriously have no social life left. Nonetheless IB has already given me enough BS that my mind is about to explode. AND how can i forget all the screaming and beating i have to undergo everyday.

rinny 17/11/2017 at 1:36 am

hi. I live in an apartment with only my mum. Even though I bring home A's and B's, she yells at me. She barely acknowledges anything i've worked for, yet yells at me for hours if i make a mistake. i'm barely allowed to have a social life at the moment. i'm 16 and I'm not allowed to go out of the house by myself. I can't even be left home alone. though I have a passion for music and dancing, my mom says I have to be a doctor or i'll fail her. She yells at me every single day for doing anything "un-christian" and constantly compares me to relatives. help??

Charlie Twell 14/11/2017 at 10:23 pm

i got a grade 7 (A) in my science mock a few days ago and all my mum said to me was, “why didn’t you get an 8 (a*)

HeidiH Editor 20/10/2017 at 11:10 am

@Harishma - I don't think you are alone though. So many generations have been through this and will go through it. It seems it is all part of growing up. Your mum really just wants the best for you and it sounds as though she realises that she is being unfair later. Parents can show their love sometimes in very unlikely ways, but it is only because she loves and cares about your future

Harishma 19/10/2017 at 3:48 pm

I got my English test and my maths test back on the same day and I got 43 out of 50 and in my English I got a 16 out of 30 and I told my mum my maths and she says well done but when I told my English she got really mad at me and she didn't care about what I done well and cared about what I done bad and it's been always like that and at the end she says I won't shout or do this again but she does and she expects me to a get 100% in all tests. I told her this and she shouted at me and said I won't care and your studies anymore and carried on shouting. She always compares me to other people and the girl she normally compares me to got 9 out of 30 and when I said I got better than her she was like she doesn't care. She then shouted that I should study and I said that I read the book and bought a study guide and workbook and done all of it and she screamed that I'm rubbish at English and that I'm going to leave the school. She then went downstairs and after a while she called me and talked as if she was talking normally and said I will never ever care about your studies anymore. She doesn't understand how much pressure us teenagers are put through.

Tumblr_queen 02/10/2017 at 1:09 am

I feel so pressured to do well.. I am so afraid to mess up and get in trouble. I just sometimes wish that my parents would be more understanding.. :(

Mouse Editor 14/09/2017 at 10:04 am

@Coco - do you have time to even sleep. This is really unfair too. You should go on strike until your mum will negotiate new terms :)

Coco 13/09/2017 at 1:02 am

My mom makes me play piano 1hr a day plus 1 hr lessons every week, 1 hr Chinese classes every day and 3 hr Chinese school every Sunday, study math for 45 mins a day, watch my baby brother 1 hour a day, clean, read, do sports and expects strait As!!! I told her once that she was putting to much pressure on me and she just got really pissed off and screamed in my face. Idk what to do. She also said I i don't do what she tells me then she'll take away my phone and iPad. Hopeless

Mouse Editor 14/09/2017 at 10:02 am

@Comrade Eric - I can understand your parents not letting you out until your homework is done. But not letting you go to yoru friends' houses to have some down time is unfair :(

Comrade Eric 13/09/2017 at 1:02 am

Im in IB so I always have homework. Which in itself is fine but my parents dont understand why my homework is never "all done" and wont let me do anything unless it is. Also they dont trust me at all and I cant even go to a friends house. I am 16 already. This is ridiculous.

Adarsh 11/09/2017 at 10:22 am

Guys wait listen to me
Just wait
Nobody like nobody who has got success in life has got it from pressure from somebody else
We do need a push sometimes(parental pressure) BUT WAIT
TILL YOU DON'T GIVE YOUR HEART IN THAT WORK
ONLY MIND AND WILL POWER ARE NOT AT ALL SUFFICIENT TO MAKE YOU ANY GOOD IN ANYTHING
ITS the HEART
Till you don't put your heart in it (in the work you are doing)
ITS NOT GOING TO GET ANY GOOD
AND IF IT STILL DOES, THEN REMEMBER YOU CAN DO FAR BETTER THAN THIS.

NOW WHAT TO DO? HOW TO DO THIS WHEN YOU ARE GETTING SO MUCH UNNECESSARY AND USELESS PRESSURE?

Self talk to yourself
See for yourself and understand that if I do this wholeheartedly then I can do this better and you will realize that your work was never that hard as much you considered it to be.

Amy Editor 11/09/2017 at 3:10 pm

@Liv - stick to your guns and do what YOU want to do. You need to be happy in life.

Liv 09/09/2017 at 9:46 am

I would really like to do something medical with my career such as medicine and stuff like that but my mom really wants me to do law which I don't really like. I'm also going l joining my school's air cadets but my mom wants me to join a different one. I love her, but I also feel quite pressured

shenayaa 21/07/2017 at 4:05 pm

my parents think im too bad. and that i need some psychology help. They dont get that i do everything to socialise and get better friends. Im pretty less in colour so im trying to increase my popularity in social accounts.

TeenIssues Editor 20/06/2017 at 3:50 pm

Is there anyone you can speak to in your school, or a relation or family friend? Have you talked to you mum directly? Try to sit her down and tell her what your issues are (don't shout as arguments get us nowhere). Talking is the best option. Childline is also there if you need to talk to someone you don't know - However, on another note, you never know, summer school might be fun.

Abby 17/06/2017 at 8:58 pm

Hi I am in the eight grade and my mom pressures me too Much to get good grades just because I got like one f in two of my classes and really yells at me when I don't do the work and also keeps me up at night because she is on her phone or doing anything loud and I can't sleep and now because of so much pressure from her I have to do summer school and she is mad and said that I can't do anything fun and always makes me feel bad and says that I will be old studying but it's not that I don't want to study its just I get bullied at school and also it is hard to concentrate she does not get that she thinks I don't want to study but I do but it's hard and I am so stressed and secretly self harmand also cry a lot I really do not know what to do.

BR Editor 22/05/2017 at 11:40 am

@sai - I know you don't want to - but you need to speal to your teachers again. They will help - they are there to continue to ensure you are safe and well cared for. Beth.

sai 21/05/2017 at 3:57 pm

I have faced the problem in my 12 grade by my parents, he hurt me by kicking me. My New Year 2017 was spoiled by them. They made me. Have a bad n lot worse New Year. They says that cutting cake is off the culture. N they gave me a lots of rules, when I decided to quit life without freedom.
But when.i shared with htis to my friend ,he advised me to counsel this with the teachers. I just cried before her n explained my life without freedom n living a life of slave. She saved me by advising my parents. But now they still annoying me like hell. I got the same feeling now. But I don't think it will be appropriate if I counsel with my teachers again. So I think I need some helps, my parents threaten everyday n that is bad nay end bad. So I felt like I need help. Before I die.

alex 07/05/2017 at 3:52 pm

hi im so and so.dont go with my intro..i just need an advice sir/miss
i belong to lower mid family some how i complete my graduation,and now i want to further study or do any govt job. my parents they dont support me..the place where im staying or you can say i born it is not our land but the love i got from here il never get if i go with my parents to the native place..as they saying me now is that i should go there and settle\\and that particular place is completely unknown for me..
please help me out..im dying with this dipression..
thank you

deep 12/04/2017 at 4:21 pm

Hello sir,
My parents hav a lot of problem from Me ,they don't trust me,they keep on commenting badly and com pairing me with other people's child,i m getting pressurized for each and every seconds ,for the way i live ,my dad slapped me for my hair's, and started demolishing me by saying if i die he don't care
Sir i m really feeling very unhelpful...i don't think so he loves me and my mom tooo.both of them think with out my good marks i can't do anything
Plz help me wat should i do

Mumstheword Editor 03/04/2017 at 1:58 pm

@Harry - if you've finished your exams then your family might want you to bring some income into the house. Many people start work at 16 and it will get you into the groove as in a few years you will be responsible for earning your own living. Lots of us don't want to work - but most of us have to (if we want to keep a roof over our heads). Besides you might enjoy it!

Harry 02/04/2017 at 4:49 pm

I hv finished my examsanc now my parents are pressuring me to do a part-time job at my uncles shop.but I don't want to do it .they r not listening to me .they just want me to do what they want.
I don't want to work at this age (16).
I just want to do something else like drawing, reading ,painting and making something .
Actually I am quite an indoor type of person so doing part time job is not my cup of tea

Ari 27/03/2017 at 5:06 pm

I'm 17..currently dealing with my grade 12. Well as I browsed through all the comments here,majority of them were about parentall pressures due to ACADEMICS. My case is a little different. Above all the academic pressures that I receive, I'm going through a very rough time. My parents have some trust issues with me and they think I'll turn the world upside down once they hand me a responsibility. Recently I asked my parents to let me walk by my tuition centre with a bunch of my friends. But since it involved crossing the road,they denied ignoring my outburst. If there is any hangout organised,again they have the fear of me being kidnapped. I have no siblings and no BEST FRIENDS in particular with whom I can share all the stories. Dad and mom always remain busy on their laptops or TV and never really bother to listen to me. All they want is me being locked up in my plain bedroom the whole day. Since we lack our own car, it's been years since we have actually gone on a holiday (the last time I went was when I was 7). People have even stopped inviting us anywhere due that reason. I really feel I cannot hold it and longer but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't end up doing something stupid. Moreover my parents are the stict ones who talks to my teachers if my marks are below "their" expectations. I'm done with crying my eyes out everyday. Please give me a few tips on how to tackle these stressful situations.

Angel** Editor 01/03/2017 at 11:39 am

@aleena123 - can't you speak to your parents or write them a letter outlining your unhappiness, they might take notice of this. Also talk to a school councellor or teacher who will be able to help. You can't go on bottling this sort of stuff up. I bottled similar stuff up and it didn't do me any good - I felt much better when I had talked to someone about my issues. Just getting my issues off my chest helped so, so much. A

aleena123 28/02/2017 at 3:16 pm

hello sir or ma'am . i get good grades( not a topper though).my parents pressurize me and compare me with other kids .they are working and i used to feel very lonely but now i am used to it.They never have loved me i gues ..al they do is come back from office ,sit in front of phones ..we never had a family time where we could share our problems.i have friends but i am not very comfortable in sharing my problems with them.whenever i try to tell my problems all she asks me is concentrate on my studies and says to not mind all the nonsense.because of them i come into depression and have cut my hand like for thrice .they all want is that i study and study.recently my parents in front of my grandparents agreed that they would buy me a dog (even though they were forced to agree) and they act as if they are trying their best to find a dog..iknow they will do this till my grandparents go and eventually would end up not buying one.they also know the reason for me forcing them to buy a dog i.e i feel very lonely (did'nt tell that they were reason behind for me being lonely and depressed) i just feel sucidal

Vinee 04/02/2017 at 12:52 pm

I am 18.Yesterday I got my results. I have worked really hard for it. unfortunately i didn't got the results i was expecting but i am quite happy with the results. but my mom is not happy at all. before having my results, i already went to enquire about the courses which the university is offering.i am really interested and i know i can do my best in the subject. the fees are really costly.
when i got my results yesterday,my mother told me to forget about that university as she is not willing to spend this much on me. ( but when i told her about this university,before having my results, she had agreed to send me there). she has offered me 2 choices, either repeat my HSC(high school certificate(Cambridge)) or go to another university and do another course. i am not happy at all.i am feeling really pressurized and i cant stop crying. i don't know how to convince her how to send me to that university itself,where i will be happy.
please help.. :(

Rats 08/01/2017 at 4:54 am

Sir, my mom dad and brother are all pressurizing me for studying. I am 22 years old and i was supposed to be graduate which i did. But still they think i cannot do anything and basically my lifes remote control is in their hands. I dont want to end up like this. Plz help plz.

bunny 03/01/2017 at 7:34 am

Hi, I'm a great student and get good grades as well, but my parents pressure me to do things for my college app. I am good at sports and music but do not necessarily pursue it. They think that other than grades I've accomplished nothing in my life and keep reprimanding me for it. I don't know what to do, please help.

TeenIssues Editor 13/12/2016 at 11:57 am

I am sorry to hear this is causing you to have panic attacks. As specified in the article, do you have an understanding relative such as an aunt, uncle or teacher you can confide in who may speak with your parents on your behalf? Sometimes when it comes via another person, it may force your parents to sit up and take notice. You can also see more, or speak with someone if you need whichI hope this helps.

lolo03 12/12/2016 at 9:42 pm

My parents expect too much of me. They're always comparing me to them and making me feel like i'm not good enough. It's really stressing me out and every time i try to talk to them they keep on telling me to stop being silly and start shouting. They never give me positive feedback in anything, only negative. There is no do your best with my parents, its do the best.

All this pressure is starting to really stress me out, causes me to have mini panick attacks and has lowered my self esteem alot.

I'm only 13 and yet they make me feel like im having to do my GCSES.

PLEASE HELP

AidyB** Editor 16/11/2016 at 11:11 am

@Andy - you need to tell your parents straight that you cannot do it, and that they are putting too much pressure on you! Speak to a teacher if you can't speak to your parents, your teacher may help. Aid.

Andy 15/11/2016 at 1:07 pm

My parents always pressurize me to study though I study 6 hrs a day but they tell me to study more. Sometimes I want to run away. Help me!

AzaFemella01 10/10/2016 at 1:50 am

so me and my boyfriend really like each other but our parents don't like the fact that we're dating? He has pressure from his mom and his friends. What should we do?

TeenIssues Editor 28/09/2016 at 2:33 pm

I'm afraid we cannot give such advice as it really is up to you. Regardless of what your mum or sister says, you really have to ask yourself what you really want to do here. You have to weigh up your relationship with the father and whether you see it lasting and how you will support yourself if it doesn't. Plus, the most important question is, do you want this child and/or could/would you actually consider going through with a termination? Having a child will certainly change the direction of your life - but it doesn't have to be for the worse. It is up to you, as an adult to make this decision based upon your own feelings and sentiments rather than anyone else's.

shady 27/09/2016 at 4:28 pm

I am a 20yrs old girl who is dating a 32yrs old man.he's a worker.so along the line i got pregnant.I told him n hr agreed n talked to my parents that he wants the baby and me.to which my mum n dad agreed.later on my mom told my sister who is married for 4 yrs without a child or any sign of pregnancy.and the only thing she could tell me is to abort the child because am too young to have a child n right now she has convinced my mom to put some kind of pressure on me to agree to what they want.

Could this be a good advice from my mother and sister?
Please I need your advice

HelenB Editor 07/09/2016 at 2:45 pm

@da - you are 19 and an adult. You can make your own decisions if you wish. You don't have to be restricted by your parents if you don't want to be. You could move out if you wanted! Zel.

da 07/09/2016 at 4:46 am

I am 19 years old. My parents always blame specially my mother. My father loves me but he too always take the side of my brother. I do not have any freedom. They refrain me from watching television, films, songs. Even if they give me opportunity i can only watch children films. I have warned not to make relationship with a boy. But i do love a boy they do not know it. I feel guilty about myself because of my relationship. I feel unloved and isolated. So i used to chat with my boyfriend eith my phone hidden. I education also have shattered. The relationship with my boyfriend is also confusing because i do not know feelings of youth. I am tired of my life. I want overcome these problems.

TeenIssues Editor 15/08/2016 at 11:11 am

I am sorry to hear you are having such issues with your mum. Of course from your mum's point of view she obviously wants the best for you and in her eyes and is trying to help you think towards your future. However, anxiety can be extremely mentally and physically debilitating and can have an effect on your schoolwork, both in and out of school (especially if your anxiety overtakes your general thought processes). Perhaps you could have a chat to your mum and say that you are doing your very best both with coping with your anxiety on a day-to-day basis and trying to negotiate your schoolwork as well. You could also mention that while you may be an A-grade student in her eyes, your anxiety disorder and the pressure you are experiencing is not helping you reach these grades. If your dad and mum are still on good terms you may ask your dad to have a chat with your mum too on your behalf. If your mum has been supportive so far, pointing her to the connection between schoolwork and your anxiety may be a better way of getting her to understand. Good luck.

Mags 14/08/2016 at 9:04 am

I am in year 10 at the moment and have suffered through major anxiety issues throughout my high school years and my parents have been extremely supportive. Although, my mum right now is putting so much pressure on my that I've thought about living at my Dad's house. Whenever I'm with her, all she talks to me about is school and how she thinks I'm not trying my best and how I'm and A and B student when I'm not. Her doing this is stressing me out more than usual and just makes me so upset that I can't think. I've tried telling her by saying "Mum maybe I'm not an A and B student. I'm not so smart like my friends and whenever you ask me, have you done your homework every time you see me it stresses me out and I can't think". She just answers with "You are! I don't want to have this conversation, you don't want to be stuck in your part time job for the rest of your life. I can't do this anymore.

TeenIssues Editor 09/08/2016 at 10:33 am

You should really sit down and talk to your parents in the way you have in this comment to us. Or even show them your comment and the advice the article gives. Sometimes, parents are blinded by the pressure they put their children under because they want them to succeed. However, your parents may also be setting themselves up for a backlash, especially if you come to the end of your patience because you are being pushed to the limit. The secret is, as always, communication and finding the right way to put your frustrations into words by telling your parents exactly how you feel. Good luck.

asdf 08/08/2016 at 12:16 pm

My dad and step-mum have been pressuring me a lot lately in regards to school. I'm 14 and halfway through year 8. My grades have been gradually lowering, though I believe that it was because I was an early bloomer so to speak. Last semester, I brought back a report with mainly A's, one or two B's and a C. They were furious because to them I had lost motivation to do any work at all. The truth is that while I try to strive at school, I'm also juggling a social and sporting life, as I play sport both in and out of school regularly. My best friend took home a similar report and her parents, both in high paying jobs and very intelligent people, were happy, while mine reacted as though they had just caught me smoking weed. I'm lacking a lot of sleep due to the pressure they are now putting on me and always feel sick, sore or tired. I feel like I make every around me miserable when I complain a bit. I want to say something to my parents, but I am driven by the need to not disappoint them after having years of them ingrained the thought that I must be the best academically in order to even slightly succeed in life later on. I know they are just trying to help, but I rarely have any downtime and find myself wishing that they would ease up. I believe that they both think that they are helping, however, they are stressing me out more than I already was and it's making my grades drop further. I also have to choose my electives soon and they are pushing for entirely academic based subjects like finance and computers. While I like computers and am likely to choose the subject regardless of their thoughts, I want to do subjects like food tech or sewing, which I enjoy. I don't know what to do as I don't want to disappoint them but also don't want to suffer because of them.

TeenIssues Editor 13/05/2016 at 12:14 pm

I am sorry to hear this. You are not on your own feeling that others are treated better than you and you are always getting the blame. This is a natural part of growing up and of asserting yourself as you approach adulthood. This phase will pass and you will look back and wonder what all the worry and fretting was about. However, if you have serious suicidal thoughts, then you may want to make an appointment to talk to your GP who will be able to help you.

sonu 12/05/2016 at 4:44 pm

i have a huge stress my parents always scold me for my short mistakes they dont even get satisfied they always blame me as a girl and always compare me with others and my all friends have mobiles and i am 16 ,10 pass they dont even give me phone
i always get frustrated sometimes thinks to commit suicide

Isabella 29/03/2016 at 5:44 pm

So I'm in year 9 (8th grade I think) and for my year group there are "more able and talented" lessons for intelligent children. I was asked to attend in September but I found it extremely stressful and stopped going around January without telling my parents. My mum found my exercise book from the lessons and found out I haven't been going and now my parents aren't speaking to me and calling me a disappointment, all because she's making me compete against my best friend and her mum to see who's more intelligent. I'm so stressed out about this and I've started having panic attacks because of it. I've tried talking to my parents but they won't listen and my life is a living hell.

Rohit 11/02/2016 at 6:53 pm

I m studying in 11 grade and approaching towards 12 grade my mom dad are putting a lot pressure on me for studies as im a science student but when i sit for study my mim then tell that"now you have got time for study" but im very busy whole day in tution and college and I have experienced this pressure In 10 grade boards exam this has made me hiper and voilet so pls help I need a help

TeenIssues Editor 26/01/2016 at 2:02 pm

The best advice I can give is to speak to someone a trusted family member, or perhaps a teacher that you can confide in, or a school's counsellor who can give you advice and/or speak to your parents on your behalf. If you think you'd prefer to speak to your parents yourself, as specified in the article, keep calm and make sure that you know your argument and can present it in a convincing manner. You could say something along the lines of: 'The amount of pressure and stress you put upon me over exams makes my performance worse. I would like you to ease off and then maybe my marks will begin to improve. But until you do ease off, you will see my marks fall.'

Hamster 26/01/2016 at 3:23 am

I am extremely stressed. I am in eighth grade, going into highschool in a few months. My parents have really high expectations, even a B is not good enough for them. Then when I'm really trying, they can't even recognize it. All they can think about is how bad I am in school. They keep pressuring me more and more, and my grades keep going lower, then they pressure me more, start checkig with the teacher, etc., my grades fall again. You can assume what follows. I'm really nervous about talking about it, because they'll likely say something along the lines of "we're not pressuring you, you're just not hardworking enough." I really need help on how to talk to them!!!

TeenIssues Editor 21/01/2016 at 10:46 am

I can only sugegst he speaks to someone from his school about this such as a teacher he can confide in. The school may approach his parents if they agree he is under too much pressure and it is affecting his general wellbeing.

Gv 20/01/2016 at 4:42 pm

Not me but my best friend is going through some parental pressure. He's in 12th grade persuing PCB, aiming for medical basically. Both his parents are doctors. He was free to choose his career course but the trouble comes in during exams. He's a smart kid (scores above 90) and studies for almost 6-8 hours daily. Yet its not satisfactory for his parents, according to him, they are behind his back to make him study. He says he has confronted them about this numerous times and still it doesn't get better. I suggested him ways like giving a formal presentation with statistics and facts and maybe going to a family councellor but most of times he's just complaining about this situation and its getting worse, it affects his behavior, he's getting more angry and violent. Please suggest something so i can help him out of this

StressNdepressed 14/01/2016 at 9:07 pm

My parents are stressing me about writing an IGCSE exam and my Mocks. I come home everyday, to lectures and fights. Some times I want to kill myself, because it feels like they don't understand my tension and pressure. I make it a point to work very hard, but my efforts go into vain. I have tried to keep my calm but sometimes I just get so worked up from school and extra classes that I say things. And in return, I am told about how much of a failure I am and how I am not worth their money. I am already stressed about normal school work and exams, and on top of that I come home to find my mum and dad always yelling at me, about how I don't study enough or about I dont do as well as the other kids do. I don't eat during the week in order to study more in my free time. If I am evening taking a little me time, my mum goes crazy about how much i am lazy and I am wasting her money. Sometimes I want to kill myself. I feel it would help me immensely. Pls I need advice on how to tackle all of this stress and extra pressure. Please help me.

Brigitte Editor 07/01/2016 at 10:44 am

@rachel - Many of our motivations as human beings come from people; whether it is parents, teachers, friends, mentors telling us we cannot do something. Many people when told this can go under and listen to such advice and never achieve their dream. But the successful in life are the ones who decide that no one is going to tell them what they cannot do and this spurs them on even more to work harder and make their choice work. You will find many famous people have somewhere along the line been told they cannot achieve their dream i.e famous actors who have gone on to win Oscars who were told at school they were hopeless at acting, musicians who were told by teachers they were no good at music, artists told they should get a job in an office. If this is what you wish to do, YOU have the ability to do it. Let the fact your parents are telling you that you can't motivate you to achieve your dream and prove them wrong. But only you can make this work and I hope it makes you try even harder to reach your goal. Good luck!

rachel 06/01/2016 at 12:13 pm

Ohk...I am a 11th standard student studying pcm for engineering....my parents keep on telling me that I cannot crack iit...I am going in depression plzzz advice me how to handle it....

sim 28/11/2015 at 12:41 pm

I am currently pursuing for medical, studying in class 11th. I have greatly pressurised by my parents if I se ure less marks. But they have to understand me that I have to handle coaching and school both at the same times. And sometimes life gets really tough when you are not an to tackle on one hand and you have to hear the sarcastic comments of your parents. I m nt able to concentrate properly as I m very sensitive and constantly think about this. I want to make everything okay but something happens which de bars me to live peacefully. I m totally disturbed now and don't know what to do. My friends have changed.. everything has changed and I m nt able to handle this change.

TeenIssues Editor 14/08/2015 at 10:31 am

I am sorry to hear you are feeling like this as a result of your upbringing. I can only suggest you speak to your GP who may recommend you have some counselling to help build your confidence up once again. In the meantime there are helplines you can access that may give some direct support and advice, such as Family Lives, It may just help to speak to another voice at the end of the phone that can help you gain some perspective when you feel things are tough. I hope this helps.

Twink 13/08/2015 at 7:02 am

Okay i am going crazy. I have a single parent. My parents were in an abusive relAtionship so they got seperated. But soon after some yrs my mother found a new guy i her life who is already married and has 2 kids. But ever since i was in 8th grade things chaged. Tht was the time when i caught them in bed. I was depressed for a while cause my mother had lied to me, and that his children are too small, so i feel bad for them. I am 17 now. My mom started favouring him over Me. My life is very messed up. my mother wants to know everything that happens in my life. She even read my secret diary. I just wrote i wanted to have a perfect family once. She read that and threw a fit and threatened me to send me to my father. Since i grew in a very sensitive surrounding, with only domestic violence around, i am very sensitive to words. But in the past 4 yrs my nother keeps tellling me stuff like how i am a garbage and how i spread negative energy around. And i always take it to my heart. It has affected me so bad that i have no confidence in myself. I used to be a very social person. But now i cant talk to people because i keep doubting my self and all the words said by my mother. And i tried telling my aunt and opening up yo her. But instead she told my mother and advised my mother to go take me to a physciatrist. My mom as pointed out tht she thinks i am mentally sick. And she expects me to be the perfect daughter. I have started believing that what all my mother says is the truth and maybe that i am mentally sick. I am a very shy person now. I am 17.

TeenIssues Editor 10/07/2015 at 11:39 am

@naan - I am sorry to hear that your life is so miserable. However, you say your family have stopped your career progression, but you are obviously doing very well and are a woman of independent means, which does mean you do have choices. You are also of an age where you can theoretically do whatever you wish. I do understand that your life is not easy as you are accustomed to this way of living, which makes it harder to break free towards an independent lifestyle. Therefore I have included a link to the Muslim Womens' helpline, link here where you will be able to take to someone directly. I hope this helps.

paula 19/05/2015 at 1:18 pm

My mom never appreciate my efforts and I can't catch attention from her because she gives it more to my sisters. I hope you help me to figure out these things thank you so much in advance

bubblegum 02/05/2015 at 10:48 am

Im determined to get the grades I need at A level to get onto a paramedic course, but my parents are determined that I'm not, and that I'm too unfit to pass any tests. I'm now starting to doubt myself. Why should I bother anymore?

sneha 01/05/2015 at 8:09 pm

Im in 10th grde and my parents are just pressuring me to get good grades...last year...just bcoz I got two B grades in finals.....and rest all As...they made a big deal out of it...now they wont evn allow me to watch tv for a single minute....no fun at all...only studies....evryday my dad sits wid me and teaches me evry single subject...and on top of tat..millions of extra questions...nxt problm is tat my mom wants me to be a doctr and my dad wants me to b an engineer....since im an indian...I have 2 career options...doctr or engineer but I wanna b a fashion designr....I told my prnts tis..but they wouldnt evn listn....plsss helpp...

Jess Editor 24/02/2015 at 12:24 pm

@Isaac - The positive thing is, is that you are almost an adult and an adult can make their own decisions about life and what they wish to do without their parents consent. If you really want to work in the food industry and are passionate about it, then you should follow your heart.

Issac 21/02/2015 at 10:40 pm

Okay. Long story short, my parents act like they hate me with every bone in their body. I always have to give up my room, my bed, or something else for my dad's friends and my stepmom's family. I can understand that, but we have a free room and I have to be forced to sleep in it while the guests remain in my room and go through my stuff. I know they do because stuff always gets opened while they're in my room.
Also, my parents are really pushing me to ignore my dream of being in the food industry. I love cooking but I can't right now because I don't know everything. Plus, when I do want to cook, it's always "another day." Now, they're pushing me to get out of the food industry and work some place else. Yes, I understand that this will be my first job, but I want to start off doing what I love.
And, "our" guests are over again and I can hardly type this because one keeps looking over my shoulder and reading what I type out. Even when I glare at him or move my computer, no one says a single thing.
I'm 17 and I have almost no control over my life, but then my parents say that I am a young adult and I should be able to remember almost everything and control my mood swings perfectly even though they will flare up and subside at times without my control. It's aggervating and I really have no place to go once I move out. It's either live here, move in with my mom and my mean stepfather, move in with my extremely religious grandmother who thinks she's always right, or move in with my other grandmother who only cleans her house once a week. It's either I'm stuck here or someplace else. Either way, I'm in misery. I have no idea what to do or where to go.

Alisha Editor 20/02/2015 at 12:26 pm

@jaf - well you are certainly old enough 'not' to be told what to do by your parents. If you really feel like the pressure is too much, then perhaps it is time to strike out on your own and find somewhere else to live in order to gain your independence which would make a real difference to your life and help you in the process of being allowed to grow up. Good luck as there is a whole world out there waiting for you.

jaf 19/02/2015 at 11:15 am

My mom always treating me like a kid even though now I'm 20 she even planning to get me married without my permission..she is doing everything on her own... not even ready to listen to my words.. none of my family members are ready to listen and try to understand my feelings its totally rubbish... its very hard to change her and her worst attitude.. someone please help..

TeenIssues Editor 11/12/2014 at 12:50 pm

@Una - you can only do the best you can do and worrying will only make you feel worse and more anxious. Have you spoke to your father to tell him that you are feeling pressurised and it is making you anxious and worried? Sometimes being honest and upfront about what you feel works wonders as your father may not even realise he is doing it. You could also ask your mother to speak to him on your behalf as it seems she is more understanding. If you need to speak to someone personally, Family Lives offer a free and confidential advice line that will try and help you finf the best way to resolve your problem. You can call them on 0808 800 2222. I hope this helps.

una 10/12/2014 at 9:50 pm

I am 14 and starting my course work for my GCSEs an my farther expects me to get good grades (B's) but in getting C's on the very boards of it to be quiet truthful. My mum is trying to get him to understand that it takes time for me yo understand things. Then there's my older sister who got A's and B's in hers and is boasting about her grades. It is making me feel that i HAVE to get them grades so i will not disappoint the family as everyone in the family are smart and have a good pay. What should i do because it is making me feel anxious and i don't want to go to school and stay at home all day everyday and cry myself to sleep (which i normally do).

Purplepanda 04/08/2014 at 4:37 pm

My mum is always telling me to make friends with the girls at my church (there are only 3)
But she pressures me to make friends with this one girl. This girl I've known all my life and say hi now and again and she is really nice but I have REAL troubles making friends and when my mum invited her round there was loads of awkward silences and not a lot to do :/ I also don't get along with people younger than me because there always playing and running around and stuff and I really don't like that stuff (by the way I'm nearly 13 and homeschoolled so not much to talk about hey?) what do I do????? I'm am so socially awkward it unreal and my mum is always saying "you need friends" and "make friends" but it's so hard but she doesn't understand or listen!!! please someone help!! Thanks in advance :) x

Burried Alive 30/07/2013 at 11:28 pm

My parents go out of their way to make me feel bad about my career choices, even though I achieve A*s. Because I want to be a journalist. They are not supportive at all and the pressure was huge; now they are trying to force me to take A levels I have no desire in...I just feel so trapped. I need advice on getting them to stop and let me be.
Sincerely,
Burried Alive

Ash 25/11/2012 at 11:43 am

My mum is always treating me like absolute rubbish, but then when family members come over she is the bees knees. how do I change her?

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