Warning Signs of Self Harming

Author: Beth Morrisey

Anyone could be a self harmer and because there is no accepted, stereotypical profile of a self harmer it means that knowing some of the warning signs might be the only way to deduce if someone is engaging in self harming behaviours. Watching for warning signs can be complicated, however, since self harmers typically carry out their behaviours in secret and go to long lengths to keep others from seeing evidence of their activities. If you are concerned about someone self harming, think about the warning signs below and consider seeking professional help for the person if it seems likely that a loved one could be self harming.

Warning Signs of Self Harming

Very often people think of self harming simply as cutting, or an individual literally cutting their own skin such as with a knife, razor or scissors. Unfortunately self harming includes many more behaviours as well. Poisoning, intentional overdosing, head banging, burning oneself and other acts of self injury and/or self mutilation can all come under the umbrella term of self harming. Warning signs for specific behaviours may be particular to that behaviour, though common signs may include:

Unexplained cuts and bruises on the body.
Wearing long sleeves and pants, even in warm weather.
Secrecy, such as keeping a specific drawer locked or hiding specific items.
A breakdown in typical communication.
Mood changes or mood swings.
Changes in eating patterns.
Changes in sleeping patterns.
Changes in socialising patterns.
Evidence of drug or medical paraphernalia.
Evidence of carrying unnecessary sharp objects, matches or lighters.
Poor performance or results at school or work.
Loss of interest in favourite hobbies or sports.

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Risk Factors of Self Harming

A number of risk factors may also increase the likelihood of an individual engaging in self harming behaviours, particularly if these risk factors are known to others and are present in conjunction with common warning signs. Common risk factors related to self harming include:

A history of being bullied.
A history of sexual abuse.
A history of physical abuse.
A history of neglect.
Mental illness in the family.
Substance abuse in the family.
Depression.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Stress and Self Harming

Stress in any of its many forms may lead to or exacerbate self harming behaviours in that the individual may find self harming a means of “letting go” or coping with an increase in stress. Common stressors for young people include exams, fitting in, romantic relationships, being selected for a sports team or dramatic production, navigating independence, getting in or going to university, attempting to plan the future and/or choosing a career. Individuals who show evidence of, or fit risk factors for, self harming should be observed closely during times of high stress to ensure their own safety.

Getting Help for Self Harming

Medical and mental health professionals should all be able to provide further information on self harming and advice for specific cases. Many organisations also exist which can offer further information and support, including Childline (www.childline.org.uk), the National Self Harm Network (www.nshn.co.uk), the Samaritans (www.samaritans.org.uk) and Young Minds (www.youngminds.org.uk), a charity devoted to mental health issues as they affect young people. Many self harmers will deny that they have a problem and may well deny that they need any sort of help or treatment, so parents and other concerned adults may need to take the lead in enlisting professional support.

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154 questions

Ask Teen Issues a Question

Chynna 25/05/2023 at 10:19 pm

Hey I’m Chynna and I’m 12 And I started Self harm when I was 9. I started cause I was fat shamed, and bullied cause of my hair and how I put it up and stuff . I started to think that if I use scissors what will it do. So I tried it on my skin and I cut too deep. My arm was bleeding heavily. So I took a shower and put a bandage on it my parents wondered why I took 2 showers and I said I had soap in my hair still, then I never cut myself for 1 years or more, but I started again when I got pushed into a wall at school cause of how I dressed and by how I wore glasses just for style and when I got home I started cutting again. I stopped for another 3 to 4 weeks then it was November 20 a day after my dog died and I just couldn’t keep my thoughts together cause I just didn’t know what to do, so I took a glass and broke it, I used it for a cutting device, then I told my friends about how I did it and one of their moms found out and called my school. So later that day my dad and mom sat me down at the table wondering what has been going on so I just replied “nothing” so my dad said pull up my sleeve so i did and I had a bunch of band aids on my wrists so my dad took them off and what he saw was EVERYTHING I did to my wrists so later on that month my parents thought it was best if I went to the hospital, so I did and now I’m out of the hospital and I’m home it’s May 25 I’m still doing $h and I won’t stop till I die

Please I don’t recommend doing $h or drvg$ like I did and I’m only 12 so please stay safe love y’all????????

Turtle 11/10/2020 at 7:06 am

Hi... I'm in year 7 and I self-harm. I've tried self-harming a year before now, with sharp plastic, however, I stopped doing that for a bit, and when I entered year 7, I felt alot of stress and began to self-harm again. Now, I use the blade of scissors to cut my wrists and hands, then cover the cuts up with gloves. I want help but I can't, if my parents know, god knows what they'll react like. If I tell any teachers, they'll ring my parents. If I tell my sister, she'll start to panic and hurt herself, which I do not want. I do not have my phone nor a tablet, only this 3DS XL

Payton 29/07/2020 at 11:22 am

Hey Im in year 6 I’m 11 I cut my self I want to die

Lili 08/06/2020 at 9:30 pm

I’ve seen your comments and it’s inspired me too tell you guys my story. I’m Lili I’m 13 years old and I’ve never had the courage to sled harm. I’ve done it once and it felt so good. I nearly got caught so I didn’t do it again. I’ve been mentally abused from a young age and I’m being called a “crybaby” by my own family. We don’t have the best financial life so that makes it hard too. My dad left us when I was 3. Ten years later and now he’s starting to act like he actually cares. I’ve thought that my life was hard but now that I’ve seen your comments you’ve given me hope. Thank you ??

millie 25/05/2020 at 4:00 am

hi i am millie i am 13 i have been self harming since i was 7 because in school i was bullied fat shamed and i have tied to kill myself 2 times 1 just a few weeks ago and 1 lest yaer i am still getting bullied and it has gotten worse i just want to say keep going guys you are worthit you wrer made for a reason and you young ones like me do not know what those reasns are yet so you need to be alive to see what you were bought into this world so keep fighting pls

Sky 15/05/2020 at 4:26 pm

I’m sadly 12 years of age and started cutting last year. I cut on my arms stomach and legs. I can never control myself when I do it and always immediately regret it after. I almost never cry about the pain anymore but sometimes I get extremely emotional and cut deep. I get around 2 hours of sleep each night if that. No one knows and I don’t want anyone to know but I can’t keep doing this to myself. My scars are horrible and make me ashamed. I really want to talk to someone.

Jt_.ly 26/03/2020 at 11:58 pm

Hi, my name is Jas. I’m in 6th grade and I’m 11 years old. Just about 3 weeks ago, I started cutting. I’ve been wanting to do so for ages but I never found the courage to do so. That changed 3 weeks ago. My story started off in 2nd grade. Lets just say I had this bullying issue. It was the same routine everyday. Wake up, get ready for school, get on the bus, get my hair roots ripped out, arrive at school, continue through the school day, get back on the bus, get my hair roots ripped out again, and cry when I get home. I got bullied and I don’t know what I did to deserve it, I was just there, not drawing much attention, just reading or making little conversation. Every time I even tried to breathe, the girl sitting behind me on the bus had to pull my hair and tell me to shut up. I would just do as she says hoping that one day, it would stop. Eventually, it did. Not because she had a change of heart, but because I moved. Summer in between 2nd and 3rd grade, I moved and started over with my life. I became the happiest, nicest, most innocent, little girl anyone (including myself) ever knew. I would always cheer people up, help them out, and just guide people through their issues. I was clueless about everything but I was just the “peacekeeper” as people addressed me back then. It felt really good to do things to make others feel happy. This continued on until 5th grade. In 5th grade. I met this girl. We were great friends, we’d do everything together. However, she changed me a lot, instead of the victim, I became the bully. At the time this happened, I thought it was so cool to just make fun of people with my best friend. May I remind you, I never wanted this, of course I wanted to be friends but I never thought I would be yelling at people to stay back. It was kind of like a peer pressure thing. I do what she does, follow in her footsteps, and nothing would happen. If I didn’t listen to her, I would risk getting kicked in the face or choked to the point where I couldn’t breathe anymore. I though nothing of it at first because I thought she was just messing. That time where she killed my fish, I thought she was messing. That time when she pushed me into a creek, I thought she was messing. That time where she pushed me off her balcony, I thought she was messing. It was until one day where she was absent from school. She gave me the excuse that she was sick, but knowing she had depression, I didn’t buy any of it. Once I got home, I decided to text her in a group chat saying that I knew she wasn’t sick (because she never gets sick). After that, she just went bonkers. She was saying “Everything that I do, you have to go and do better! It’s not fair!” (Original quote) I tried to calm her down but nothing worked, she just kept getting more angry. I decided to leave the group and after that, I cried for hours. The next day at school, we weren’t exactly on the best terms. She made me cry during lunch and everyone was there to see. Luckily, everyone was on m

dalia 12/12/2019 at 12:20 pm

I’m Dalia I’m 13 I’ve been meaning to cut myself for a long time or take a bunch of pills and kill my self but I just can’t bring myself to do it and I don’t know what I do I usually just scratch myself with things or cut on an old cut just to feel myself hurting for some reason I really don’t know what to do and I don’t want to tell my mom because I don’t want to get her worried or feel like it’s her fault but I really need help and I don’t know who to turn to because no one will understand and they’ll just say I want attention and the silly comments people always tell me they hurt but I’m too scared to say anything I need help who do I turn to

kat 07/12/2019 at 3:58 am

i started when i was 12 in my 6th grade year i did it about a dozen times then lead to my friend finding out. for months i had the urge to do it, but i didn’t. Then came to my 8th grade year, where i am now i’m on my 4th month of doing it, i don’t do deep, i do small on my upper thighs. yes, i have scars but i’m to ashamed to look at them. when i do cut, i’m never in the right mindset, feeling guilt after i do it, wonder how much disappointment my mom would feel. yet i know she would help. three nights ago i was almost 11 days clean. two nights ago i cut 21 times here i am now my thigh aching and wondering if i should tell and adult. or idk. my friend found out because i told her when i was clean. at least i though i still would be. but it has gotton so addictive idk what to do. Help?¿

Georgia 27/09/2019 at 4:44 pm

My name is Georgia and I am 15, I started cutting start of last year and every time I get so emotional I just take it out on myself every time. I know it’s bad but it’s so hard to stay happy..I attempted suicide once and my parents never knew about it..I want to talk to someone but I am so scared to tell somebody because I’m afraid of everything that could happen with me telling someone. My cuts are sometimes so deep I can never sleep.

Nevaeh 10/09/2019 at 11:47 pm

I’m 15 years old and I have hated myself for a long time. I don’t cut but I self harm in other ways that aren’t so obvious. Like I scratch all the time to the point where I can draw blood. I never dress for the weather which is a way of punishing myself. I go days without eating. I put everyone’s needs above mine and I isolate myself. I don’t physically self harm, but it still has the same effects. And I don’t know how to stop, but it hurts so bad.

Tjana2007 17/05/2019 at 1:44 am

So, I've only been cutting for like 3 weeks. In the start, it was a few cuts I could easily hide, but over the last month, it's just gotten worse... I have someone on the internet(My boyfriend who is far away), who helps me, or at least tries. Should I tell someone? I kind of want to tell one of my best friends, he's been asking me randomly(And as a joke) if I was depressed. I don't know how to tell him, and I don't know where. I can't stand the thought of him telling the teacher, and the teacher telling my mom... I want to tell my mom by myself, it'll most definitely be in months, though.

I love him so much and trust him enough to tell him, but I just have to find the confidence to do so...

GoodFeeling| | || | 14/04/2019 at 12:20 am

i started self-harming at 12 i stopped for 4 months and then i turned 13 and all those teenage hormones came and as a kid if something happened i didnt know what happened but know that i realize how mess up twisted life i have i have happy moments i have fun moments, i get on my phone and look at memes and laugh so hard and then it just turns into you dont deserve to live, go cut, GO CUT! and then i do i cut my thighs cause i cant afford long sleeves to cover up my wrist, im homeschooled so that means i have alot of time, and i spent those times crying day til night, and ive attepted suicide but didnt take enough pills and wake up, ive helped people stop self harming and committing suicide but i do/did those things, im such a hypocrite, i dont want any bs about people care about you or just stop but i cant its satisfying to cut my flesh, and some of the kids in the neborhod know about and they make fun of me but i know better i laugh cause atleast i know im making someone have fun and see the battle going on and think of me and i know only to win the battle but im losing and if i lose and retreat I KNOW THAT IM COMING BACK 10 TIMES STRONGER!

BumblebeeRyan 04/04/2019 at 10:25 pm

Hi! Im Ryan
Not sure if this comment is allowed but ive seen a lot of unanswered questions and comments regarding young teens self harming and I want to help. Im 17 and I used to self harm. I started when i was 12-13 and I want to help some of you who are there and are confused, hurting and/or want to stop. It only gets worse if you don't do anything now! And this is coming from personal experience. My instagram is @cdstyyyfd and my snapchat is @rebecca.awesome (cringey name, i know). I would prefer you contact a professional but if you are unable, then i am here to listen if you need to vent.

SelfHarmSucks 14/01/2019 at 2:03 pm

I have only very recently started self harming but my friends have being doing it for a while.The reason i started was because of my friends and because im having a hard time at home. i really want to stop but every time i say im going the temptation to do it again takes over me.It has knocked my self esteem and every time i look at my cuts i feel ashamed of myself which make me do it again. Do you have any advice on how to stop or how to tell family members because i really really need want to stop. Thanks :)

Makenna 22/10/2018 at 5:49 am

I’m 13 years old and in my first year of high school (freshman year grade 9). I’m suicidal and I self harm by cutting on my wrists and thighs (mainly my wrists.) I just really don’t like myself,other people have seen my cuts and all. Some do nothing and some call people to get me help. I’ve been to 7 different councillors since my dad committed suicide when I was only 8 :( counselling did never help me unfortunately though. Winter is coming up here in Canada so I guess I’m able to wear long sleeves with approval of others but I still wanna see red. Any help would Be very needed! I really wanna cut right now :/ ~A suicidal teenager??

Alisha 15/10/2018 at 12:06 am

I have recently been self harming , I told my best friend and she talked to me , she said I should stop , I still have scars from the last time I did it , yesterday I did it again and my friend saw , they want to see tomorrow and for me to explain why I did it , I can’t talk about it because idk how I feel , I put a bandage over it because I have pe tomorrow I want to stop but I can’t

kk 11/09/2018 at 3:57 pm

hello. I'm 15 and have been self harming since I was about 12. it has been on and off but mainly on. I used to do it as a punishment whilst battling an eating disorder which I got admitted to hospital for. ever since then I have been cutting myself as a release of the feelings inside that I can't let out. I have PE at school tomorrow and have visible cuts on my arms and legs, what do I do?

JoB Editor 16/07/2018 at 9:36 am

@Leanne 75 - the objective is to get her treatment. Only wearing long sleeves will cover self-harm scars :(

Leanne 75 15/07/2018 at 8:25 am

Hi my niece self harmed she stopped .but last night I have saw she has done it again . Lines up her arm and put fat and disappointment on there .Which she is neither . Her uncle is getting married in 2 wks .not sure how to cover up .

TeenIssues Editor 01/06/2018 at 2:13 pm

Please see the Mind whichwhich should help you with information and a contact for someone to speak to confidentially if you need.

Holly 01/06/2018 at 7:50 am

So I am 13 and I self harm and I keep feeling like I should cut but I can’t go a hour without thinking of cutting even tho I havnt for 3 months and it’s difficult to stop can anyone help me?

Rose Editor 04/05/2018 at 10:10 am

@Tim - I agree. I'd say get help too. I told my sister and she has been great. It was such a weight off my shoulders and my mind.

Tim 03/05/2018 at 2:35 pm

@pi telling someone it the best thing believe me I have been cutting since I was 10 it’s been a little over 10 years I’m 20 now and me getting help was the best thing I say get help

ImogenB Editor 24/04/2018 at 2:29 pm

@pi - telling someone will help you. You must want to stop and the only way you can think about stopping is to get help and counselling regarding what is making you resort to this. It's amazing how supportive people can be. I did the same and I told my aunt and uncle, they have been great. They spoke to my mum and dad on my behalf. My mum and dad have also helped a lot and eased up on me too.

pi 21/04/2018 at 2:07 am

i'm 11 and i've been cutting myself for a while now; i believe i started november 2017. usually i do this because i just hate myself, the impossibly high expectations set for me, stress, and everything in between. It's both a temporary stress-reliever and something that physically proves my self-loathing, i guess. anyhow, why i'm writing this is because one of my closer friends, i daresay best friend, is suspecting something. She's starting to notice how there are unusual cuts on my wrists and thighs (i normally cut my shoulders, hip, or somewhere else where it's not visible, but i ran out of room) when i change into shorts or a shirt that does not fully cover my arms. actually, she confronted me about it an hour ago, when she was still over at my place. of course, i denied everything, but i could tell she wasn't convinced whatsoever, though she stopped pestering me. anyway, i'm scared. i don't know what to do. i don't know how to deal with the sadness, anxiety, anger, and stress. i don't know how i'll explain things to her. i don't know if i should tell my parents; they already have enough on their plate, the last thing they need is a messed up daughter.

Katieb Editor 06/04/2018 at 12:30 pm

@Unknown - I understand you. But stop the spiral and get help. It's a dark place, but only if you get help can you really feel that you can come out of it. Go see your doctor or speak to someone you can trust. It really can help. You are obviously depressed too. The organisation Mind can help too. You are not alone in this.

Unknown 04/04/2018 at 5:44 pm

I had self harmed since December 2017 and before that a bit, then a few months went by and I got back into it and it was deeper a lot deeper because I did something terrible and I had this massive guilt of it. The reason why I self harmed (and still do) is because of the physical and verbal abuse my brother puts on me, my parents are still going through a divorce (for over a year) and I've thought of running away and sometimes killing myself (but those thoughts don't last and I don't condone doing this). I tried to do other stuff like eating to try and forget about my thoughts of harming myself. I feel like I'm falling down a spiral (like last time) and I can't see the light. I hope someone who is reading this understands me.

scitz 022 03/04/2018 at 7:10 pm

hi im 13 and i self harmed for 2 months on and off and im scared my grandparents will find out and i dont know how to hide it but if you need to hide it try makeup

TeenIssues Editor 15/03/2018 at 2:20 pm

Firstly, if you are using a fountain pen, be careful as contaminated ink can cause a skin infection to enter the bloodstream. If you feel you have a problem, then you should confide in someone about this, so that you can get help to try and overcome the habit.

Maddi 13/03/2018 at 6:34 pm

I started self harming last friday so about 4 days ago. I don't want to keep doing it and i only do it at school under the desk with my fountain pen. I dont know what i should do if it gets bad...

RoseH Editor 23/02/2018 at 2:36 pm

@Sad - you really need to speak to someone about this, a doctor, a school teacher, as it sounds as though you are also suffering from depression. There is help for you out there. Sometimes it is difficult when you are used to living with a feeling, but talking to someone and seeking help will help you to get back to the place within yourself where you need to be.

Sad 23/02/2018 at 2:56 am

Hi I'm 13 and I've been cutting myself for about 7 months and I've told some friends I self-harm. My guy friend mostly helped me the much because he used to do it too . It's so tempting tho .. I used to self harm because of a heartbreak .. It turned to depression and my grades at school are dropping :( I'm losing friends and contact with my family. They say I should tell my parents but I can't really because 2 months ago and still today I self harm because things aren't going well with my parents . I don't feel loved anymore , they are always asking me why I look empty . I just don't reply because I know I might burst crying because of them . My mom used to verbally abuse me and I've had enough so I still self harm..

TeenIssues Editor 21/12/2017 at 10:10 am

I am sorry to hear this. If you feel you cannot go to see your GP, then speaking to someone may help, The first step is to confide in another person whether it is someone you do not know, or someone you trust and who makes you feel accepted and supported. It could be a teacher, friend or family member or someone anonymous such as in the links provided. The Mind link here may also help you feel that you are not on your own and there are other people who are suffering from the same issues as you. You do need help and there are people out there that can help and guide you, but you need to reach out and make contact. Please let us know if you do.

None 20/12/2017 at 1:14 am

I've been really low and depressed lately I've started to self harm again and am worried as it's become in a lot lately this time the cuts are deep I used a surgical blade last time I cut through my tendents and had to have an op as I slipped with the blade I want to go the doctors but I carnt because I really have let myself go and carnt push myself i carnt cope with day to day live in at times my anxiety is become in more frequently i want help myself but I find it hard I have A'D'H'D but think its more of depression

TeenIssues Editor 06/11/2017 at 11:19 am

You need to speak to someone about this, especially if you have nearly killed yourself as a result of self-inflicted injuries. The only way you can improve your life's situation and your state of mind is by seeking help. You can speak to someone at Mind, who will keep your conversation confidential, Or the Samaritans can also help, if at any time you feel desperate, Writing on this page is the first step towards help. You need to now take the next step and confide in someone directly regarding your issues. There is plenty of help out there - you just need to reach out to get it.

Idk 05/11/2017 at 3:09 am

I’m 12 and have been self harming for around 18 months now and have nearly killed myself on 2 occasionsI have been depressed for around 2 years, my parents split up but my mom abuses me verbally and my dad did physically I haven’t told anyone and recently my mom found the knife I use to cut my self with but hasn’t found out about the burning what should I do None of my teachers have found out either and I don’t plan on telling anyone.

Sierra 01/11/2017 at 9:41 am

Cutting... what should I do??
13 years old

Katieee1 26/10/2017 at 2:02 pm

Hi i have been cutting on and off now for 3 years but they have been getting super bad now my family is falling apart and are blaming me i have lost interest in my hobbies i just go home an sleep i hardly eat anymore and i tried to hang myself couple nights ago and now have a bruise around it and iam scared incase any my teachers or family find out ps iam 16 years old

TeenIssues Editor 18/09/2017 at 1:56 pm

If you feel you need help with this issue, then you need to ask for help from your school again and/or family. Talking to someone is your main priority. Once you talk to people about it, you are on the way to helping yourself solve your problem. If you feel you would rather talk to someone who is not connected to you, then you could try someone such as Childline here.

Nickname 16/09/2017 at 7:51 am

I'm 13 I've been selfharming for 2 years on and of I started in year 7 buy cutting my wrist my mum sore it and my sisster I got upset and said I fell they never believed me so they told the school and they said they well get me help I deneyed it then 5 months later I cut my leg and since then it's a habit I stoped 1 month ago and now I started to bruise
My self I'm scared I'll start taking drugs next please tell my what to do

TeenIssues Editor 14/09/2017 at 11:04 am

I am sorry to hear this. It is important that you speak to others if you are feeling lonely and isolated. Your GP will help and can refer you to some counselling. Mind can help with some initial advice and guidance, Please also see NHS whichTalking, sharing and making yourself have the 'conversation' about your issues will definitely help you on the road to recovery. We hope you manage to sort these issues out.

Shmurdysadd 13/09/2017 at 7:41 am

Hey I'm 27 years old and I never really cut myself but I've taken large amouths of pills when I was younger and one time filled up s bookbag with txt books and hung it over my bed around my next . . But when my dad died when I was 16 I use to take a sharp knife and nip my skin repeatedly until it welp up . . My mom have been gone now for 3 years and my depression is so high it's scary . . I'm dealing with a bad break up and bad living arrangements. . . I'm back at nipping myself with the knife again smh I have nobody to talk to and the one I thought I had just never heard me everything I do is for attention my heart is broken I'm super depressed please help me

TeenIssues Editor 12/09/2017 at 3:04 pm

Do you have a school counsellor you can speak to? It is important you do speak to someone soon before any situation might spiral out of control. You can also make an appointment to see your doctor who will be able to help with your situation. Childline may also help here if you need to talk to someone directly.

NBxoxo 11/09/2017 at 11:21 pm

I'm 13 I've cutting on and off for about 2 years I have always struggled with weight issues and feel that I'm overweight. Not long have told my friends that I've been self harming but don't know how to tell my parents I've told my friends I've stopped but it's getting to the point I'm trying to make my self sick and I need help. Do you have any advice it's not only effecting me it's effecting my results in school.

Mya 21/08/2017 at 6:34 am

I am 13 and i been cutting for 2yrs now and two of my teachers found out but i could talk to them but if got worse so they couldn't talk to me anymore and i was very sad and my teachers their were there for me and they were like they were my mom

Amber 14/07/2017 at 5:45 pm

I'm 12 years old. A month ago I cut myself with scissors because I had very low self esteem and hated myself and never felt comfortable in my own skin. I still have these negative thoughts in my head and I don't know what to do. I feel that I am fat and that the world would be better of without me. My whole class found out and made fun of me.

LauraI Editor 13/07/2017 at 12:17 pm

@InvisibleGirl - when you forgive yourself and try to turn your life around, then your life will change for the better. You need to stop beating yourself up and begin to love yourself. So you've made mistakes, what human being hasn't? It would have been much worse if you had carried on being a bully, but half the battle is realising that you've been a 'douchebag' but are willing to change. But first you have to begin to like yourself again.

InvisibleGirl 12/07/2017 at 3:37 am

I'm 17, and have been self harming for 4 years now. It's an ongoing battle. I used to be a bully and everything came crashing down and basically I was exposed as the douchebag I really am.... that's when I started, as a way to punish myself. it's getting old. But I just can't stop. In times of crisis its always there for me. I just wanted to say that for all the people who have been bullied out there... I'm sorry. I'm one person who truly does deserve this pain...

TeenIssues Editor 10/07/2017 at 10:14 am

I am sorry to hear this. Please see NHS link here which also tells you how and where you can seek help. You can also see more whichI hope this helps.

Kc 09/07/2017 at 2:21 am

Hi I'm 14 I have been cutting my self because my life is a mes and no one helps me I suffer with depression and I'm never happy I sit in my room and at school I have this boy I really like and I think he liked me but he has lost feelings for Me for this going I dunno why I acc botherd because I fell in love _ to hartbroken then I'm the ugly the frigit the.one who's scared to have a boyfriend I have acc never been in a realashenship because I'm scared he will think I'm ugly skinny but evryone thinks I'm this shy,little , fragile , scared pefetic I'm scared to show my true colours

Blue** Editor 27/06/2017 at 2:28 pm

@Ldot - it may do, but it's not an answer to your problems and you really should try and get this and your other issues sorted out :(

Ldot 26/06/2017 at 7:11 pm

Im 18 Ive been self harming on and off for almost 4 years now, it gives me the best relief. I suffer from depression, anxiety, perfectionism, body dysmorphia and cutting seems to be my only true release.

Jackson Editor 20/06/2017 at 12:56 pm

@Abby - Yes you shoukld continue in this life. There will be plenty more boys, better and nicer ones. School will eventually end and your friends will change. All you need to do is talk to your mom about your problems and try to get her to see you are having a tough time. Talk to a school counsellor too.

Abby 17/06/2017 at 9:03 pm

Hi I am 13 years old and I have gone through a lot lately like for example I went through a lot of pressure from my mom to do good in school and also I continue getting bullied at school and also I went through a breakup with my boyfriend that I still really like so much and for those reasons I've tried to do something bad because I do not know if I should continue in this life with my ex not liking me or my moms pressure to do well in school.

MadHatter** Editor 15/06/2017 at 12:38 pm

@Charlott - it sounds like you need to get some more information first before you make a judgement over what to do for the best. The fact you have self-harmed too may mean you can gain your sister's confidence and if both of you are self harming you should get some help or advice. Hattie.

Charlott 13/06/2017 at 9:07 pm

I am 13 and I have concerns that my sister is self harming. She is the same age as me (we are twins) and recently fell out a lot with her friends. She has been joking about self harming; when I asked her why she had a big scratch she said she was self harming and then said she was joking, on that same day I noticed a cut on her arm that had recently been picked, again I asked her about it and she had the same response, but I pressed her for a proper answer and she said 'I don't know.'

Should I be worried about this? Or should I wait and see if any more marks appear? I might go looking in her room to see if their are any bloody tissues because they are a good sign... also her cut is on her left arm and she is right handed. I'm really concerned, help! Ps I don't really want to tell my parents because I don't want to get her into trouble, also I occasionally self harm so it could be a sisterly thing too, I guess? Thanks ??

Charlie 05/06/2017 at 9:33 pm

I am 15 and have been self harming. I don't understand why or why I won't get help. I have a great life and my parents blamed exams and the fact I'm a teenager but my exams are over now and I generally don't like life. I have had quite bad suicidal thoughts and wrote a note but I don't think I'll ever do it

Missy Editor 24/05/2017 at 2:30 pm

@Aoneill 21 - if you feel this way, then it is important you seek help and some support :(

Aoneill 21 20/05/2017 at 1:38 am

I can't stop self-harming I have been doing it for 6 year's and can't stop no friends i'm scared of life ??????

TeenIssues Editor 19/05/2017 at 11:00 am

You don't have a physiological problem, but if this has been occuring since your childhood, you do have an issue that you personally may wish to deal with and/or try to stop. Talking to your parents, school counsellor or your GP may help you further.

JennyJelly 18/05/2017 at 5:57 pm

Ever since I was little I would scratch until I bleed, sometime it was because I was scared or nervous but mostly I'd just do it without thinking. My family just ignored it thinking it would just disappear when I grew up, but it still do it and I'm 16 now. I would scratch when I'm anger, sad, alone, depressed and even when I sleep. I don't always realise that I'm doing it but am I just depressed or do I have a real physiological problem?

Sadie 06/05/2017 at 2:00 am

I just started self harming with a razor, but I'm afraid it will become worst. I don't know if I even have depression, but i really dislike my body and constantly bad mouth myself. What could be the reason if I don't know if I'm even depressed. I'm 13 fyi

TeenIssues Editor 02/05/2017 at 2:56 pm

CASS Women’s Self-Injury Helpline is for women of any age and background affected by self-injury, whether their own or that of a friend or family member, Also, Childline may help, It is important to ensure you deal with this issue as soon as you can as this will benefit your recovery long term.

Frannie 02/05/2017 at 1:30 pm

I started self harming when I was 13/14. I started doing it with a pin, then it became a pair of compasses. Then it became the blade in a sharpener. I stopped cutting myself last year around summer, when my parents caught me and my 'depression went down'. I have started and I don't really know all the reasons. I am stressed and I have next to no friends.

I wonder if I could talk to someone online, or even if it would be worth it to talk to someone.

Millie 30/04/2017 at 10:39 pm

I'm 11 and I self harm but my teachers know about my life and everything wrong with me should I tell them I self harm? But I hate saying that I do that's the thing

Taypezz 06/04/2017 at 3:18 pm

I am 17
I relapsed in the beginning of the year after being clean for a year... I cut on my foot and my hip but recently my boyfriend noticed the cuts ... I don't know what to do please help

TeenIssues Editor 13/03/2017 at 12:57 pm

If your doctor has advised you do not go near sharp implements and it is in your best interests not to do so, then it is worthwhile informing your teachers.

dobby 12/03/2017 at 5:02 pm

my doctor said i cant go near scisors or sharpeners should i tell my teachers or just leave it

Jane 06/03/2017 at 8:03 pm

When I'm stressed or annoyed I would scratch my self until it goes red and numb. Is this self harm ?

Hayhay 15/02/2017 at 1:03 am

Hi guys. I was a self harmer. I started at 14 and I turn 24 next month. I stopped about 4 years ago but I am here to say be strong. You don't want to get to my age and have scars, but none of that negativity that made you cause them. Imagine what you are feeling right now as a cloud. And it will pass, and you will be so thankful you didn't give up. Be strong x

TeenIssues Editor 14/02/2017 at 11:00 am

Regardless of the reasons why you or your friends think you are self harming, you should really talk to a professional who will help you to better understand your reasons and help you to try to stop. You can see about skin picking whichStress can very much be a contributory factor, please see the Young Minds whichTherefore, you may wish to speak to your school's counsellor, your GP, or a teacher, or your parents - all of who will be able to help you further.

TeenIssues Editor 13/02/2017 at 10:39 am

Do you have a school's counsellor? Or your teacher/doctor will help you. Anyone in authority will do their best to guide you and/or point you in the right direction regarding helping you to resolve this issue.

Holly 13/02/2017 at 9:36 am

I'm only 11 but I always pick my scabs until I bleed and sometimes just make scabs on purpose so that I can pick them because it makes me feel rather in control of at least something. I have scabs on my arms and on my chest and on the top of my head, but my hair hides it. I'm feeling very stressed at the moment, is it because of this and am I actually self-harming or as my friends say it doing it because I'm bored

Emily "Chara" Dreemu 12/02/2017 at 4:13 am

I went a really long time without cutting, then I used the blade of a pair of scissors to cut myself, I also have depression. Who should I talk to, and what can I do to prevent future cutting episodes?

HannahU Editor 06/02/2017 at 12:50 pm

@gen - she is obviously worried about you. You shouldn't be cutting and you need to get help, not try and find ways around other places to cut. Get HELP!

gem 05/02/2017 at 11:04 pm

Im 12 and i have recently started cutting but my mum found out an instead of being worried about what she will say i can only think about where i can cut so she wont notice bcause she said she is going to cgeck my arms and legs.

Hanna 30/01/2017 at 9:09 pm

My friend cut her wrists 4/5 times recently but she never wears long sleeved tops or jumpers she always has short sleeved tops on and no jacket, i don't know what to say to her because I don't know if she's doing it for attention, What should I say to her?

Cattails17 20/01/2017 at 10:37 pm

My friend has cuts on her wrist, she almost always wears long sleeves, however, this is the first time i noticed this. Today she was wearing a sweatshirt and put it around her waist and stuck her hands in her sleeves. However, her sleeve fell off when we were working together on our Spanish assignment and I noticed cuts on her wrist, she has 2 cats, so at first i suspected that but she looked alarmed and pulled her hand down quickly and said "you didn't see anything did you!?" I said "no" even though I was lying and now feel very worried about her. Please help me!

TeenIssues Editor 20/12/2016 at 12:02 pm

In this case you may wish to speak to the MIND charity, to obtain some further advice on the best way to approach your mother.

Angel??? 20/12/2016 at 1:19 am

Well I started cutting in august due to being seually abused in June I've cut my arms my legs. I'm suffering from depression and only my 2 closest friends now what ive been doing but I've only recently told them. I want to be able to tell family to get help but I feel like there going to say I've been attention seeking or something I feel like I never have anyone to talk to. Each night for the past few months I've cried myself to sleep because of the stress of not telling anyone??????

brax 19/12/2016 at 10:44 pm

uh hey. im nearly 15 and have been self harming since i was 10 all over my legs, arms and even my chest and stomach. my mother sees the cuts and scars, but claims im seeking attention. ive been reading articles on self harm to figure out the best way to explain to her whats going on with me, but she just wont listen when i tell her im sad. i was diagnosed with depression and social anxiety and ocd when i was younger, but that's the only time my mom cared about my mental stability. how do i tell her this isnt me needing attention and that im in serious danger?

Madi3 18/12/2016 at 1:39 am

I'm 13 and I started cutting after I first accidentally cut my self while cooking. It felt good to relieve all the stress I was getting from family and friends. They say how I have to look after everyone and to be like my older sister. I don't know if I have depression or something else. I most of the time like to say on my own and most of the time it's a battle to get my blade or not. I come from a Asian family so it's difficult to even talk about it. My mother won't understand, my older sibling will shout and just tell me to stop. I cant tell my friends or they will think I'm a freak. There isn't really anyone to tell. What do I do when I'm completely alone?

Brit 12/12/2016 at 5:25 am

I started self harming when I was about eight, that's the farthest I can remember doing it. I remember going home from school limping because of some bad infection I'd gotten. I used to clip my toe nails so far that I drew blood. I did this for all ten of my toes. I didn't know that it was self harm at the time, but when I was about 14, I started cutting. 2 years later, I still do both the toe nail and the cutting thing. I've told my mom. I've asked for help. I showed her my scars when she asked to see them and even told her that I did 't want to be here anymore. She told my father since they tell each other everything, but instead of helping me and making sure I felt better, my dad threatened to divorce my mom if I did it again because if I was self harming, they she didn't care about her children since she wasn't watching my sister and I as close as we needed to be watched. He yelled at me, and even went on making fun of me whenever I did anything out of the ordinary. My sister even scratched my wrist once when we were fighting (I'd been clean for about 5 months at the time) and proceeded to make fun of me, implying that I'd cut myself in order to get those scratches. I don't know what to do anymore. I've relapsed recently after 8 months clean and I just don't think I can take it anymore. I need help and my parents refuse to get me it. It's not as if we're short on money: they sent me to a speech therapist (stuttering problem) even though the doctor who recommended me to that therapist advised my parents to take me to a psychologist instead. I can't go anywhere without them, they always have to be at my side when I'm not at home. I'm simply not allowed out without them. I need help. Any advice? Please, I need it.

TeenIssues Editor 05/12/2016 at 12:15 pm

I am very sorry to hear this. It will help you, if you can seek help,which is what you need to do in order to try and put a halt to this. Regardless of whether you have stopped for a couple of months, you obviously still have issues with the compulsive side to self-harming. If you have the right support, anyone who is reliant on self-injury but doesn’t want to be, can learn new coping methods and break free from the psychological reliance. The episode in your kitchen acted as a trigger, which means although you have successfully avoided huring yourself for two months, there are still issues there which need to be resolved. Therefore, I urge you to speak to your therapist or GP, to ensure you get the help and support you need. You have shown you can step-back from self-harming, but with a little extra help and some tools will mean you can take it to the next level in trying to break this habit altogether. There are people out there that wish to help you, you just have to be brave and ask for their help.

Amelia 04/12/2016 at 2:52 pm

I started cutting when I was seven. I don't know exactly why I did it, but I remember the sense of relief it gave me. I engaged in this behaviour on and off until I was 12 - I would do it multiple times a day for a few weeks and then not pick up a blade for months at a time. From that age on I did it daily. At school, home, public bathrooms - wherever I happened to be at the time I craved the feeling. 2 months ago (aged 15) I promised myself that I would never do it again as I was already covered with scars alone scars. Amazingly, to this day no one has found out because I never cut my arms because that was the place my psychiatrists and parents always check. Anyway so today I was using the stove and accidentally burnt my hand. At first I pulled away because I was suprised but a few seconds later I did it again. Only this time it was on purpose. Because it was in the kitchen and my mother and sister were just about to walk into the room, I went into my room and burned myself with a lighter and assortment of metal objects (heated). I am 16 tommorow and all I can think about is finding time to do it more. In a way I hate that I relapsed after a 2 month SH-free streak but also the relief that I felts so I was (and am now) reminds me why it was so hard to stop in the first place. After 8 1/2 years as much as it seems strange, it has been part of my life for so long that I can never see myself not engaging in. If only I hadn't picked up the blade the day after being released from a psych ward at age 7, who knows I might not have made it to this website.

TeenIssues Editor 28/11/2016 at 11:09 am

Did you tell your mum about your self-harming? If you didn't you may want to confide to her about this, as it will make a difference as your mum may not have registered quite how depressed you are. You need to either sit down with your mum and ask her for help with your situation. Or at least speak with someone who can give you some advice i.e your doctor, teacher, close relation or a trustworthy good friend.

Chucky 27/11/2016 at 6:07 am

I'm only 13 and I started self harm with a razor 2 days ago and already have 14 cuts/grazes I told my mum that I had depression but I don't think she took it seriously, what do I do?

TeenIssues Editor 01/11/2016 at 2:02 pm

Self-harming will not affect your career as a counsellor, if this is the route you wish to take. Even though you do not think your own self-harming is 'serious' - it is always wise to speak to someone if you are feeling the need to self-harm. You will not be judged and if you feel you do not wish to speak with someone you know, one of the listed helplines will be able to help.

Jess 29/10/2016 at 4:01 pm

I've recently started self harming but don't want anyone to know as it's not that serious. I'm just doing it to let out my own frustrations, I'm not in any way suicidal. I was just wondering if self harming could cause me to not be able to be a counsellor when I'm older? As they may think I'm too unstable? Also, it's on my wrist so how should I cover it up?

TeenIssues Editor 05/10/2016 at 1:59 pm

If you feel the need to have to speak to someone, then you should. You may wish to remind your father and ask him to assist you in finding help. If you have a school counsellor, then he/she would also be advisable to approach. Remember anything you say to the school counsellor will remain confidential, so you do not have to worry about getting others involved. Telephone helplines such as Mind will also help you talk through your issues, I hope this helps.

Abby 05/10/2016 at 1:16 am

I've self harmed off and on but not consistently until a few days now.I have attempted to tell my father about my depressing feeling and hinted self ham but,he quickly forgot about it.Im thinking about telling my school councilor however I just dot want to get everyone involved and everyone worried and all the questions.I want help then I don't.Like I don know who I would be if depression and anxiety wasn't in my life.Which I know it will never truly be gone.What should i do?

TeenIssues Editor 26/09/2016 at 12:39 pm

I am sorry you feel so alone in all of this and it would really be better for you to share this with someone you can trust. Do you have any other family members you can speak to, or a teacher at school? If not, MIND will be able to help and advise, You can also go and visit your doctor without your mum's authorisation and your doctor will also be able to help, especially if you have already been diagnosed with anxiety disorder. It may also be time to sit down again with your mum and explain what you are going through and that you need her to listen.

Jjj 25/09/2016 at 5:46 pm

I have started cutting for about a months now. ( just want to say that I suffer from an anxiety disorder that was diagnosed by doctors) It started about 2 months ago when I told my mom I though I was depressed (which I was felt for about 6 mouths to a year already) and she said she didn't think so and kept on comparing me to herself. I was so sad that she wouldn't believe me and I was sad because I realized how alone I was in this. so I ran in the bathroom and cut. (There was no blood) I kept on doing it when I was sad, but I never cut to blood. A month ago I had a panic attack and cried a lot. Then I cut myself with a razor to blood. It wasn't a lot of blood, it never is. Just enough so that it hurts but it won't kill me. (I DO NOT want to die so I never do it deep, I just want it to bleed) I don't know what to do. I don't know if my parents will believe me or yell at me. I don't know if or if I can't stop, I haven't tried to stop. The pain helps me cope better with my sadness and school, and if I feel "stupid" "ugly" or "sad" I look forward to doing it. (I am not bullied at school. I am actually quite popular but I still somehow hate school.) What should I do? I just want to be normal and I hate myself for the fact that I am not normal kid. And I know If I tell my parents, everything will change and I won't be "normal" anymore. What should I do? Please help.

TeenIssues Editor 15/09/2016 at 12:40 pm

I am very sorry to hear this. As you are 17, then I suggest you make an appointment with your GP so that you can talk about therapy. You do not need the permission of your parents if this is something you really wish to overcome. Just opening up to someone else and talking to someone through therapy really will help. We wish you luck.

MJ 14/09/2016 at 7:58 pm

Hi, I've been cutting since i was 11 and i'm 17 now. I've been bullied severely since the age of 10 both at school and at home. Recently i was forced to remover my sweater during gym class and a lot of people saw my scars and i'm now bullied even more,
i'm trying to stop but it's really hard ,
i've tried speaking to my parents about going to a therapist but they think i'm looking for attention ,
i really don't know what to do anymore.
Please help.

Beth 31/08/2016 at 12:56 am

Hi... Um, so I used to cut myself and it was coming up to being 2 years since I last did it. My sister said horrible things to me the other day and I don't know why but I cut myself. Only one cut, on my thigh. The only thing is, I want to do it again and it's scaring me because I don't want to end up having to hide scars for the rest of my life... How can I tell my mum or a friend so they can help me? I'm not a very open person and don't talk much when it comes to problems or feelings, so it's really hard for me.

MrsBxxx 06/07/2016 at 9:02 pm

Hi today I told my 11year old daughter off for telling a silly fib, tried to explain that lying is worse than what she had actually done and I need to trust her so no matter what always tell the truth. I asked to wash up after dinner thought she was quiet so went to check in her she was in back room she hid the knife and held her arm behind her back she had cut/scratched herself with the knife over 12 times! She said it her only choice. And it was her first time (I believe her) she said it mad her feel she was letting it all out. And she has said she regrets it and wishes she never did it and will never do it again. I'm worried I don't know how to deal with this! Help x

TeenIssues Editor 31/05/2016 at 12:39 pm

I am sorry to hear of your family issues which will of course have an affect on you. It will be better for you if you open up to someone and tell them what is happening in your life. If you don't wish to speak with your nan, then a teacher or family friend may be able to help, or you may feel it is easier to speak with someone outside the family such as your GP who will keep the matter confidential. Releasing the burden will help. There is nothing wrong with your 'head', in 2014, figures were published suggesting a 70% increase in 10-14 year olds attending A&E for self-harm related reasons, so you are not on your own in feeling this way. We live in a very pressured society which is taking its toll on young people and you have the added issues of a parent dying and your father seriously ill. So please be kind to yourself and perhaps in the first instance you could call Childline who are accustomed to dealing with such issues and will be able to help, All discussions are confidential, therefore you can talk freely and receive the help and advice you need.

I need help 31/05/2016 at 1:54 am

Hi, I'm a 14 year old girl. I've been self harming for a few months. It started out just scraping my nails down my wrists, then using a compass to cut my thigh, now i use a pen knife across my wrists, I've told my nan about how depressed i am, and that i want a therapist, but she is taking a long time. My 5 closet friends know about my self harming, and i have broken so many promises by self harming once again, everytime i promise not to do it again i know i will. I would tell you why i self harm but it's too much to type, just two traumatic events involving my parents, my mum had a stroke when i was 5, which made my life hell, and now my dad is in hospital after suffering a seizure following a coma and serious brain damage, and on top of that, i struggle to tell anyone what's wrong with me, even though i really want to. I only ever self harm at night, and it's difficult to distract myself from the depressing thoughts, I'm normally good at it through the day, occasionally i fail but that's besides the point. I also feel like I'm failing at school, i find it difficult to concentrate and focus, and, i feel like i don't care about much anymore. There's something wrong with my head, and i need help desperately ;-;

TeenIssues Editor 03/05/2016 at 1:47 pm

Thank you for sharing your story with us. If you have told your parents and they have dismissed your self-harming, then you should go straight to your doctor, so that your doctor can help you to find you someone you can speak to. Speaking to someone is the first goal you should have in order to put these feelings into perspective. You're not 'stupid' you have a few issues that need to be dealt with and that can be dealt with if you decide to seek help. You are not the only person who self-harms and as you may know self-harming is actually growing quite considerably in young people. The likes of social media and that the media in general forces people into assuming everyone else has perfect lives, but I can assure you they don't. The fact that you see that you can or might be successful at some point in your life is a great starting point and one that you should build upon. I wish you the best of luck in trying to overcome this as I know you can.

I don't exist?? 02/05/2016 at 9:08 pm

I have been self harming since year 8 mainly because I was bullied through primary school and secondary as I am in year nine now I get those thoughts that keep gaining back on me as I was bullied and I couldn't take it so I turned to self harm -release stress in my world-and it sort of helped me. And my family called me stupid girl as I couldn't do the things they asked me to do properly. And then I thought about SUICIDE it's never been a thought that has ever come to mind untill now . But I also thought to myself what about my outcome in life what is I become successful in life later one so I left the thought of suicide alone and still continue to self harm in silence in the bathroom and cover it up with tissue and my long sleeved jumper and that's sort of my story....

i want to save a lif 15/04/2016 at 10:48 am

i'm not afraid to say it, i self harm. i have done for a while now and i've posted on here before but this time, its not my life i want to save. my best friend of 3 years has recently told me she self harms and i don't want her to go down the same road i did and make the same mistakes. shes only told a couple of people and she wont tell an adult. she cuts and doesn't eat. her eating has gotten so bad i make sure she eats so she doesn't black out which has happened before. i didn't tell anyone that i self harmed and as i drifted further into depression, it felt like o one noticed so i kept it all to myself. that is a lot to carry around and i love her with all of my heart, i'm at a loss. i'm trying to do the things i wish someone did for me but she thinks that self harm is the way out. the last thing i want to do is to push too hard and she feels like she cant talk to me. that is what i'm afraid of. i know exactly how she feels - i self harm and really want to kill myself but i didn't tell anyone and she unknowingly saved my life on numerous occasions. shes recently divulged that she sometimes want to die but i have managed to stop her just by talking to her. I've stayed up entire nights trying to get her through but i feel i can do more. i want to get her to talk but, like i said, i don't want her to go away. what else can i do?? i feel so useless. i couldn't even tell her that i did it too at the start, i didn't want to put more pressure on her. she says she wont tell anyone because shes afraid word might leak or they'll think shes a coward. she thinks that everyone hates her but I've told her i love her so many times i cant love her more. i love her so much, at times i think i'm gay. we've had our ups and downs but we've always made up, we need each other. i couldn't live my life without her, id do anything to take this away form her. i wish i could protect her from the monsters in this world but all i can do is stand and watch as she falls to pieces. i catch a few and put them back on but i cant catch them all. i try to be there for her - day or night no matter the time but what she doesn't realize is how long i was keeping my secret and how it burned a hole inside of me. i really am looking for advice because if she dies, i do too.

Mini 08/04/2016 at 4:18 pm

Hi, I'm Sophie and I've been self harming for around a month. I do this because of what's happened to me. Family problems. I use scissors to scratch my arm. My two closest friends know about it as they realised that something was wrong. Since last month I've don't it five times. I don't know if I should tell my dad. If so, then how should I tell him. I don't want him to be embarrassed of me or worried. I'm sorry.

TeenIssues Editor 01/03/2016 at 2:50 pm

I am sorry you feel this way. However, I do suggest you seek some help from a professional, if you cannot bring yourself to tell your parents. As with the advice for the comment below, please see the SupportLine link here which will tell you further about why you may self harm and the help you can get. Exams are always a stressful time, so if you don't wish to speak to your family first, then any one of the support lines listed will be able to advise you in confidence on what you should do. Failing that, if you have been self harming for this length of time, then you should really see your GP, who will help you find a therapist. I hope this helps.

J 29/02/2016 at 8:44 pm

I've been self-harming since I was 7 it started of banging my head on the wall and not eating to the point my mum had to force feed me to help me. This was because of being bullied for being different and not into the same thing as others. I've been doing it for nearly 10 years now when I was 12 I would run my nails down my wrist and legs and watch the blood drip on the floor. Then when I was 15 I started with pencil sharpeners. I told my parents with help from my social worker. I was clean for 3 weeks then started again because I felt numb and wanted to feel again. I started to smoke which my parents don't know about. I was doing well 4 months clean then I burned myself because of an argument at home then Sunday came and I went back to my sharpener I don't know what I want anymore and can't see my future. I act happy all the time I'm about to sit my GCSE's and can't cope with the stress at home and school. What do I do?

TeenIssues Editor 29/02/2016 at 2:26 pm

I am sorry to hear this. Please see the SupportLine link here which will tell you how self-harming and low self-esteem go hand-in-hand. Rest assured, you are not the only one out there who is feeling exactly the same as you and that's why you need to seek some help from someone who will understand. If you don't wish to speak to your family first, then any one of the support lines listed will be able to advise you in confidence on what you should do. I hope this helps.

Sian 28/02/2016 at 11:42 pm

Hi im 13 and scared I cant reach oit to anyone because of my fear and I know people will treat you me like an alien and wont understand I cant speak to my parents because of the fear of seeming weak and pathetic. I dont qant to be the one who is known as the disappointment what can I do?

TeenIssues Editor 24/02/2016 at 11:29 am

I am very sorry to hear this. The first person you should tell is your therapist, as what ever you tell her will be treated in full confidence and she is not there to judge, but to help. You are not alone in this and your therapist has listened and helped many people who have self-harmed. Your therapist will also advise on what she thinks is the best approach regarding your parents. Generally, those who self-harm say they feel a relief when they tell or share their experiences with someone. You can gain more support from MIND here and if you need to speak to someone you can also contact them directly. I hope this helps - sharing is the first step to recovery.

Bella 23/02/2016 at 12:28 pm

Hi I'm 13 and have been self harming for about 2 months. My self harming has built up a lot during these months, it started with me scraping my nails into my knees, then in went into scraping the scissors a cross my thighs (which did not cut me), I then found an exacto knife and cut myself behind my legs so no one noticed. I did these like once a week.
Now, my mum stupidly leaves a razor in the shower so I take that apart each time I shower and cut myself on my hips, the cuts have become deeper and I do it everyday now.
Cutting distracts me from my thoughts, that's why I do it, it's like I can breathe again from all of these months of drowning. But then that relief goes away and we crave that feeling again so bad that we cut once more, then again...
I'm seeing a therapist for my depression but I am terrified to tell her or my parents. My mum brought up the topic of cutting the other day and said that she saw a girl in her marsial arts class that had cuts all up her wrist and how awful and disgusting it was. This made me even more terrified of telling them.
I'm so scared, and I think I can't do life anymore. I've become a lot more suicidal then I was before.

Wendy 20/02/2016 at 1:32 am

I'm 12 and I self harm. My best Friend knows because she too self harms and saw a cut and immediately recognised it. I go to a private all girls school and I'm on a scholarship so you don't have to pay as much, but because of the constant pressure to get good grades I am constantly terrified of not getting an A*. Also my best friend is suicidal and wants to commit a double suicide through overdose on pills which she stole from her dads medicine cabinet and is really planning this suicide for both of us. I am having second thoughts about it but I don't want her to feel like I've abandoned her when she's struggling like I am. I feel like everything about me is bad. I'm fat. I'm ugly. I'm stupid. I don't do anything right. According to my parents who subconsciously emotionally abuse me I am a useless disappointment. I feel such pressure from everyone to be such a perfect popular A* student who is always happy but I feel like such a dumb fat kid. Compared to the other rich kids who have perfect home environments, clothes that aren't 9-10 and get three meals a day, I have nothing to hold to them. I feel forced into everything-the suicide plan, scholarship, grades, 'friends', looks, weight. I don't know what to do with my life. I've become to reliant on my razor blade and can't actually genuinely smile anymore. I'm sorry.

TeenIssues Editor 27/01/2016 at 10:19 am

I am very sorry to hear this and you do not have to apologise. Quite often self harming is a cry for help. If you cannot confide in your parents, or loved ones, you can confide in your GP who will help you get the treatment you need for your emotional issues as well as the physical ones. Please see link: Treatments for Self Harming, here . As specified in the article, 'if, however, a self harmer hurts him or herself to such an extent that medical attention is needed, this medical care will be given before any other type of treatment is explored to address the root causes of self harming.' If you think you have hurt yourself enough to need medical attention, dependent upon the extent of your injuries, please either seek help or call the emergency services asap.

Kurt 26/01/2016 at 1:50 pm

I'm Kurt, I'm 18 and I've just self harmed about 10 minutes ago with my butchers knives and there really deep, I'm scared, about my life, about the amount I'm bleeding, about the fact that I'll never be happy again, I want help, I want someone to confide in, but I don't know who to talk to so I cower behind this screen waiting for an answer that I've heard so many times before. I'm sorry

TeenIssues Editor 20/01/2016 at 2:08 pm

It is important that you speak to someone regarding these issues. If you do not wish to tell someone close to you about this, then there are other people who you can speak to confidentially about this matter who can try to help. You can either make an appointment with your GP, or speak to someone via a helpline such as Young Minds here or Family Lives here. While many young people feel this way, it is important that you try to get help to both stop you feeling so isolated and as a way to help you go forward with your recovery. I hope this helps.

Lau 19/01/2016 at 9:07 pm

I'm 14 and I've been self harming since I was 11, when I first cut I thought my whole world was going to drop right in front of me. I've gotten so used to the feeling. I feel so down all the time. I even think about suicide alot. I want to tell people but I'm scared there going to judge me ??

TeenIssues Editor 08/01/2016 at 12:09 pm

If you are good friends with her then you could approch her when she is alone and tell her you have noticed her marks. If she has confided in you before, then confiding in you again may be what she needs. If she really didn't want anyone to know, your friend would do her very best to hide the marks. Sometimes, by letting someone see, it is a quiet cry for help. Please see link: Family and Friends of Self Harmers, here . As specified in this article, those who engage in self harming behaviours usually need to be convinced that they need help, rather than making this decision on their own.

Kate 07/01/2016 at 5:39 pm

My best friend suffered from depression a while back though she seemed to be in a much better place right now- while suffering from depression she used to self harm by cutting her arms but she was able to stop and hadn't cut in over a year, but the other day myself and one of our other friends saw fresh cuts on the top of her arms(where its easier to hide) when changing for PE and we're incredibly worried that's she's going to go back to the place she was before- we don't know whether to confront her about it or what to do at all- we just want to help her in any way we can, preferably before it gets worse. Its possible that's its due to the fact that she recently broke up with her boyfriend and she was receiving verbal abuse from his younger brother (though thankfully that's stopped now)

TeenIssues Editor 02/12/2015 at 10:19 am

I am sorry to hear this. If you don't want to tell your family or friends, you could perhaps go and confide in a teacher (who will know how to help), or you could give one of the helplines listed a call who will treat what you say in confidence and offer guidance. Your GP will also help if you make an appointment. However, I'm sure if you tell someone, you will feel a weight off your shoulders, as there are people out there that are qualified to help. Traditional counselling, sometimes known as talk therapy, would allow you to talk through your emotions and why you self harm. The counsellor or therapist involved will likely be a source of support and a behaviour modification approach may be able to teach you how to make more healthy choices in the future. Plus, if your friends are good friends they will be there to help and support you. Please get help - as there is plenty of help on offer. I hope this helps.

Nikki 01/12/2015 at 4:57 am

I'm 13 and I self harm. I am often neglected and forgotten by my family, and I am yelled at a lot. My mom had also gotten arrested so I turned to self harm, originally cutting my wrists but switching to my shoulders, stomach, and thighs since they were easier to hide. I don't want to tell my parents because I don't know how they'll react and I can't tell my friends because they would just be disgusted by me and think I want attention. I don't know who else I could turn to and I need help

TeenIssues Editor 24/11/2015 at 12:08 pm

It very much sounds as though you need to speak to someone about your issues about the bullying. You may find the Childline helpline useful, If you speak to someone directly, they will be able to advise you on your best course of action, because you don't have to got through this, with a bit of help, you can resolve these problems.

Aimee 23/11/2015 at 6:08 pm

Hey im 12, and im not afraid to say it, i self harm, i tried to tell a group of friends , not directly, there is always this girl, she always starts a sentence with "im depressed" " my laptop wont work" or " my ex dumped me " i turned to her and said you have no idea how bad my life is, i am , you know , not exactly a straight line, people say im confused but im not, some boys, they live near me, and they know, theyre about 15 -16 it was because i did not show any interest when he pulled his man parts out near me and now they bully me, take my phone and theyve tried to pull my underwear down , they were the ones who told me to cut, they told me that i was worthless , ive had a broken rib because of them and i had to go to school with a broken rib for 5 and a half wekeks and it hurts me so much because no- one will never know the pain that ive been through it kills me when every morning my my mother asks me " you are right darling , did you have a good sleep " i look her in the eye and lie to her i am such a bad person i need help

TeenIssues Editor 29/10/2015 at 11:35 am

Teenage years are difficult for many people, but as dark as it may seem currently, you will come out the other side. In the meantime, you really could do with some help and guidance to see you through. If you can't speak to your family, please seek help elsewhere such as your GP, or online the likes of Childline via whichHopefully, you will feel better if you speak to someone directly and please keep speaking to the people who help you the most, as it sounds like they are good friends and do care.

WhyAmIHere? 28/10/2015 at 12:16 pm

im 14 and ive been self harming for ages now. ive lost track. my mum is always to tired to give a damn and the rest of my family couldn't care less. there is only three people who actually listen to me and care enough to do something about it. two are teachers (English) and the other is one of my best friends. not the others. they don't properly understand what is going though. I am in a lot of pain and my family is divided and im the connecter. I pass the messages. and im sick of it. seriously sick of it. that's why I turned to self-harm. to get away. but the people who live in my house don't even hear my crying. or if they did, they don't care. I hate my life and I hate this world. I do have things to help me, like the three best people in the entire world. but sometimes it feels like they are only helping me so they can say 'im doing something good. im helping someone who really needs me' not because they actually care.

TeenIssues Editor 14/09/2015 at 3:27 pm

I am sorry to hear this. You can call NSPCC experienced counsellors whenever you need to on 0808 800 5000. They're used to dealing with the effects of self-harm and giving advice. Your call can be made anonymously. Also, ChildLine has trained counsellors who can help you to talk about the emotions you may be feeling and which may be triggers to self-harm. It's a 24/7 service that can be reached on 0800 1111. Alternatively, you can make an appointment to see your GP. It is important for you to share your worries, as doing so will help relieve the pressure you are feeling. There is nothing wrong with having gay or lesbian feelings, felt by many children of your age, they are completely normal and part of growing up. I hope this helps.

Lee 13/09/2015 at 8:21 pm

I'm 13 I self harm because I think I'm depressed but I don't know I think I might be gay (lesbian) and its putting a lot of pressure on me Im sad most of the time I want to stop but I find it hard I did stop but I started again I'm going to get help one day I don't know what to do

Jahmia 15/08/2015 at 8:24 pm

I self harm. I told my aunt a while back but she Just yelled at me. I want help. I tend to cut when Im overwelhmed. I'm 17. I've been cutting since 8th grade. Can I get help with out them ?

Ali 17/07/2015 at 10:40 am

Im 13 and I self harm. It brings a sense of relief . I can't stop . Please help

Harmony 27/06/2015 at 11:00 am

I'm 15 and I self harm, I have been for a few months now. I used to self harm a year ago then my parents found out and screaned at me and it made me feel worse. They didn't see that they were making me depressed. I've started again because of school and I've brought the subject up with then and they say stuff like 'If you do it again then I don't know ehat I'll do' so I've been to afraid to tell them. I know they care for me but they dont like self harms thinking they are just attention seekers. Please I need help.

TeenIssues Editor 25/06/2015 at 2:07 pm

@Chloe - I am sorry to hear this. I'm sure your parents wouldn't hate you, and they may be able to offer you some help. You should really try to seek help over this by either confiding in someone trustworthy and close to you, or by visiting your GP. Or as specified in the article, you could approach the likes of Childline (www.childline.org.uk) or the National Self Harm Network (www.nshn.co.uk), for some confidential advice. I hope you manage to sort this out soon.

Chloe 23/06/2015 at 5:00 pm

Hi I have never told my parents that I self harm and I am scared to tell them just incase they hate me - I am taking depression tablets because my mood is very low . Please can someone give me some tips.

pleasehelpme 08/02/2015 at 6:34 pm

I used to self harm about a year and a half ago and it didn't get too serious and two of my closest friends helped me a lot and I was able stop and I thought I'd be fine and it wouldn't happen again but recently I've started again, it started with just minor scratches and I'm now having to hide the evidence from my parents, I want to tell my mum really badly but whenever I bring up the topic by just commenting on it my mum will say about how it's stupid and how she thinks that it's cowardly. I often listen to music to help and have recently gotten into a band that is really helping but people are calling me stupid and obsessed and it only makes me feel worse about myself. I am also struggling with my image and I am a very fussy eater and whenever I bring these topics up with my parents they blow me off and I just want to cry.

Dev 02/02/2015 at 7:22 pm

Hi I've just found out my 16yr old daughter is self harming she used excuses like she'd fallen but the wounds weren't from falling they are deep in her legs. Her friend as confirmed this Aldo she's not eating properly hiding food and giving her meals to the dog. I'm besides myself I don't know how to deal with this, what to say? I don't understand any of it and I'm reading a lot of websites . My head is racing with it and my daughters due home in 30 mins.

Mitchell 12/01/2015 at 5:36 pm

Hi, ive just found out that my 17 yr old daughter is self harming. She's admitted to doing it and is is telling me that she isn't doing still. She won't show me her arms to prove this to me. Is very offensive and stand offish. I haven't got a clue were to start to go for help and feel out of my depth. She's told me that if I take her anywhere for help she won't show them too and tell them to sling it.

Hope 04/01/2015 at 10:25 am

My daughter started SH with scissors at the age of 12. She has moved on to using blades. All of this has occurred in the last 6 months. The sigms were there but I thought that it was teenage growing pains. She did badly in exams, she was having friend problems which I thought I had helped with. Her pet died, and close friends moved school.
I have taken her to CAMHS but she is refusing to go after just 3/4 sessions. I am so desperate, I want to help her. I asked her if she wants to stop, she says yes, I think, because she know that's what I want to hear. But, I just want her to stop using blades. I have been on other forums and web sites to give her dsitarction tactics. She's not interested. The WORST thing is Instagram. Other harmers follow her and hashtags about other forms of SH are influencing her, like pro-ana sites etc. I know there is no magic wand, but what can I do to stop the blades, please someone help.

Tam 23/11/2014 at 2:31 am

Hi. I don't know if I have a self-harm problem or not. After reading all the stories above I know my situation cannot compare to theirs. I understand that self-harm is wrong and I do not want to make myself another victim to it. But sometimes when I'm in a situation where everything just seems to be spiralling out of control I hurt myself. Just small things like punching walls till my knuckles bleed, clawing at my skin, even biting myself till my skin breaks. I know I shouldn't do it but sometimes it feels like there are so many bad feelings inside of me and I can't let them out. When I hurt myself the pain grounds me, it brings me back to earth, makes me feel almost normal, like I can cope with the situation. I am not looking for help or answers. I have already began to stop. I'm finding other methods to deal with the stress.I find running and heavy metal is the best treatment for me. I'm not sure why I am sharing my story. I guess I just hoped it would make a difference for me and for anyone else feeling lost. Strangely enough I do feel better. :)

darlingyoullbeokay 19/10/2014 at 7:54 pm

I've self harmed for 4 years now. Had anorexia/bulimia for a little over a year. I would just like to say, if you've not, don't start it. It's grown from just minor scratches on my arms to needing stitches on my arms, stomach, hips, legs,. I understand feeling empty, overdosing on anything, destroying your skin, starving to feel beautiful, wishing constantly for death, attempting suicide, depression, all of it. I feel it every breathe I take. But if you're feeling like you are going to begin heading down this path, catch yourself and take this moment to breathe. Then, recognize you are not alone in this. There are many many people who you can talk to about how you are feeling. Not just a therapist or someone. There are free sites specifically for this, or many average teens/individuals with help blogs and pages who care. Create new outlets, mine is music. Write everything you feel, turn it into art. Make a distraction. But don't harm yourself. It's so not worth it and incredibly difficult to stop.

Ithurtsgood 17/10/2014 at 7:45 pm

Hi, umm im 15 and just cut myself for the first time. Just now. I've got no sad story, no abuse. But I'm very sad/depressed. Help me please.

amber 18/03/2014 at 10:44 pm

Ive selfharmed for 2 years and been anorexic for 1 year . How do you beat anorexia and depression and I'm 14 so i don't know what to do

Dead&Gone 16/06/2013 at 1:32 pm

I don't really know why I cut anymore. Maybe because I need to feel something. Maybe to get the attention of my mother. Maybe because I hate myself. The reasons are all jumbled up now. My scars run down both thighs and my left wrist. I don't particularly want to stop, the pain is too addictive. I have this feeling that one day when I cut, I'll bleed and it won't stop. Maybe then they will notice I've been screaming all along.

nobody 05/05/2013 at 6:51 pm

im 13 and have been cutting myself for 2 months untill yesterday i had no space on my arms or legs to cut on (from cuts and scars) so i tried right at the bottom of my wrist,i didnt know the skin is alot thinner her and ended up cutting straight through a vain and having to go in a ambluance and straight into surgery. even though self harming helps at the time it dosent in the long run, i really recomend you talk to someone or if you fell like cutting snapping a rubberband on your arm helps, i wouldnt want anyone to go through what i did, and im not emo im writting this now sitting in mustard chinos and a orreng top with a light blue jumper, sound emo? im a boy btw :)

shauna 16/02/2013 at 3:06 am

i have been selfharming for 2 years now and i can't stop i really need help but i'm scared and i don't wan't to tell my mum or anyone.
i steal quite a lot of sharpeners from school and take the blades.
i can't trust any teacher because they'll ring home and i hate refusing to pull my sleeves up in a cooking lesson because the teacher might see i need help please before i cut too deep or inflict increased amounts of damage.i don't slit because i'm emo i slit for depression please would someone help me.

chaddy 11/02/2013 at 11:38 pm

Im 36yrs old and just discovered tonight that my daughter has 2 gashes 2 the upper part of her arm. she has just turned 16 and im terribly worried, please ive me some advice, is this just her age? it is out of character for her 2 do this but im worried plz can someone help?

FakeASimleForAWhile 31/01/2013 at 9:31 pm

So I started cutting last year, my mom always makes me not feel good enough and I would take pencil sharpeners and rip out the blades and use those until my mom would find them and throw them out she doesn't know I selfharm and I don't want her too. I'm scared. And I hate relapse.help?

Sara 20/11/2012 at 6:07 pm

Im 13 and self harm and have been for about 2 months only 3 of my friends know. My hips are covered in cuts and I carve the word fat into my skin. I want help but don't know how to ask for it.

Siffy 26/09/2012 at 11:25 am

It's sad to read messages from so many people in pain. I admire how you all found a method to cope with the pain - self harm. It's one step on the way to being happy. It's also a perfectly normal and reasonable response to unbearable distress. So don't feel ashamed of it. You do need to find a less destructive way to cope though. Sharing your thoughts with other people here or in real life is the best way. Keep trying and you will get through.

Sally 08/08/2012 at 10:26 pm

My 13 year old daughter is very good in academics. However she has been bullied for years now in school. I dont know why she always get back with friends that bullies her.
She trust kids and get bullied, over and over for 4 years now.
Ou household normal with ups and downs.
She cuts herself, bite her nails until it bleeds. She tried to commit suicide.
What can i do
Mother
Please mail me direct
Thank you

heather 08/07/2012 at 12:47 pm

I'm not sure how long I've been self harming for now, I'm 18, on meds for depression, I hate myself but its the only thing that helps. It's like I'm able to release the pain I feel emotionally by doing it. I've tried talking to people about it but it only ever makes it worse. Ive been to councellors but they blame my home life, but the thing is, I've had a pretty good childhood I guess. I'm not really sure what to do or how to stop it though :s I can't tell people anymore, it just hurts them and they deserve better than that. Any advice? :s

Cupcakeox 13/06/2012 at 2:01 am

Well I am 13 I have been self harming for about a year now. The first time I selfharmed I thought it was just a one off, but it's became a habit:/
My dad and baby brother both died within 10 months and I was 12 , I didn't really understand what was going on but then I went to secondary school and that's when it hit me. I was doing okay at the start of my first year but throughout the year my behaviour deteriorated andthe next minute I know I'm shouting,swearing,and throwing stuff at members of staff. I didn't think what I had done until after I done it. I started to become really depressed. I tried to run out in front of a car at lunchtime at school but it didn't work! I then started to think that everyone dying was my fault and that's when I started to cut my arms and stomach. I engraved names into my hips, I don't want professional help I just need to find my own way to get the pain away without having to hurt myself:/ I demanded a teacher to give me scissors so I could cut all my arms. I was going to do it there and then but she somehow talked me out of it. I have this one teacher who I can trust with my whole life, I just wish I was normal. HELP!:(

itwasmylifesaver 26/05/2012 at 8:07 am

Hi my name is becky and I have been selfharming since I was 14 (now 16) I dont really no why I self har. but it just helps me to feel alive but now things are getting worse not just for me but for the people around me as well. my mum has disabilities and I used to help look after her alot but since she found out I self harmed I dont really do anything for her and we dont really speak anymore and now she getting depressed becuase of me and my self harm is getting 10 times worse cuz I keep putting my self in hospital as I am doing it too deep but my self harm is stoping me from doing anything else I have already tried to end my life once an I dont want to try again for my famiy and friends. but I really need help and I dont know what to do

TeenIssues Editor 19/04/2012 at 12:30 pm

@Gen, you're very brave for posting your question and asking for help. Gen what would hurt your mum more than anything is the thought that you couldn't go to her for help. She will understand that you are still upset about your dad and that you miss him, no matter what he did to her. You're her daughter and she loves you no matter what and will do anything for you so tell her how you feel. If you find it too difficult to speak to your mum speak to a teacher at school, they will be able to help you by talking to your mum with you, and by putting you in touch with a counsellor. Good luck Gen!

cant fight it 27/02/2012 at 11:52 pm

I'm 17 and have been self harming for 5 years now (cutting-burning-trying to kill myself) and been to 3 different councellors...all 3 can not help. I can't seem to stop and its ruining my life...i am forever feeling down and never myself. The self harm eases the pain i feel inside but the sars are a constant reminder. I just don't know how to stop myself anymore. Help?

advice..? 09/08/2011 at 9:35 pm

I'm 13 years old and my sister of 17 has been self harming herself and I have seen the cuts on her arm. me and her are quite close but whenever I bring it up she either walks away or changes the subject. It's really hard for me and recently she had a fall out with her boyfriend and there were cuts on her arm and they look deep and recently done. I dont know what to do. I feel like I can't tell my mum about it cause I feel like I am betraying my sister, so I keep it all in and get myself worked up about it. But I feel really bad that I'm feeling sorry for myself and yes I know it is hard for her but I know there is nothing I can do. So I don't bother trying. At points I've thought run away, kill yourself. I'm just finding it really hard. Anyone know what I could do?

Shadsie 10/05/2011 at 10:45 pm

I've got a problem with self harm too, I have been harming for about 5 years now, and i've tried so hard to stop, but always find myself back in the same place, I again start cutting my arms and wrists over and over again, I dont know what's worse living with self harm or living without it, The scars are the worst part, God it is horrible. Every day living a lie.

smile&forgetthepain 11/03/2011 at 9:11 pm

Well, I've had a problem with self harming for about 2 years, I was clean of it for 5 months but I had some problems at home and at school also with friends so I resorted back to scratching and cutting my body but I have been thinking for the past month that it doesn't help it just makes things worse. It leaves you with scars and with mental issues.

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