Coping with a Crush

Originally written by Beth Morrisey, updated by the editorial team on 6th September 2026

What Is a Crush?

A crush is a strong attraction to someone, often based on limited contact or even from a distance. Unlike a relationship, it tends to be one-sided. You might find yourself drawn to someone you barely know, perhaps someone in your class, a friend of a friend, a stranger you see regularly on your commute, or even a celebrity or public figure.

These feelings can appear suddenly and intensely. The person seems to occupy your thoughts more than makes sense, and you may not fully understand why you feel this way. This is completely normal and something most people experience at some point.

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How a Crush Can Feel

The physical sensations that come with a crush can catch you off guard. You might notice your heart beating faster when they walk past, or feel nervous and tongue-tied if they speak to you. Some people describe a fluttery feeling in their stomach or find their palms get clammy.

These reactions are your body responding to emotional excitement, though they can also stem from anxiety or nerves. They can feel overwhelming at times, but they are a standard part of how attraction works.

Other signs that you have developed a crush may include:

Wanting to be near the person, even without any real reason to talk to them
Thinking about them frequently throughout the day
Noticing small details about them that others might miss
Feeling a boost in your mood when you see them or hear their name
Going out of your way to cross paths with them

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

When a Crush Is Not Returned

The term crush is fitting because these feelings can leave you feeling genuinely hurt if the other person does not share them. Finding out that someone you like does not feel the same way can be painful, and it is fine to acknowledge that disappointment.

Give yourself time to feel whatever comes up. Talking to a trusted friend or family member can help you process these emotions. Avoid isolating yourself or dwelling on what you could have done differently. In most cases, attraction simply is not something anyone can control, on either side. This means it is completely normal not to have your feelings reciprocated, and respecting how everyone feels, including yourself, matters.

It can also help to remember that a crush, however intense, is usually based on limited knowledge of the other person. What you are feeling may be more about the idea of them than who they actually are. This does not make the feelings less real, but it can make moving forward a little easier.

Looking After Yourself

If you are struggling with difficult feelings around a crush, whether that is rejection, embarrassment, or just confusion, support is available. Talking to someone you trust is a good first step. School counsellors can also be helpful if conversations with friends or family do not feel like enough.

Organisations like Childline offer free, confidential advice for anyone under 19 in the UK. You can call them on 0800 1111 or use their online chat service. The Mix also provides support for under 25s on relationships and emotional wellbeing.

Remember that having a crush is a normal part of growing up. These feelings can be exciting, confusing, and sometimes painful, often all at once. With time, they tend to settle, and you will likely look back on them as just one small part of your experiences.

Focus on the people and activities that make you feel good about yourself. Be patient with yourself, and trust that you will learn and grow from whatever you are feeling now.

The Next Step

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Ask Teen Issues a Question

TeenIssues Editor 06/09/2026 at 1:02 pm

@Confused Honestly, it's really hard to tell at your age because lots of friends are just physically close and clingy without it meaning anything romantic. Sitting near you and wanting to be around you could just mean she really values you as a mate. The only proper way to know is to ask her, maybe casually when you're alone, or get a mutual friend to sound her out. Whatever the answer, try not to let it change how you treat her, because a good friendship is worth keeping either way.

Confused 06/09/2026 at 1:02 pm

I am in year 7 and have this friend who is really nice and is like me but I don’t know if she has a crush on me or not. She sometimes sits close to me and is around me a lot. She is very keen to be close to me. I want to know if she likes me or not.

blue513 07/09/2019 at 10:53 pm

Theres this guy(number 1) i met in a class i chose more than a year ago now,and at the start it was awkward,but we started talkining due to this other dude i sit next to who never pays attenttion(number 2) at all,eventually i realized i liked this guy (number 1),hes kind and funny and we would laugh and throw paper balls at each other in class until when i had to eventually kinda sit next to him.im so confused about what i should to i really kinda like this dude,butbi can be awkward,and what if he doesnt like me back,that would just make things even weirder,despite this other girl who thinks we would look cute/good together.,i just dont know why ive said nothing.what should i do?ghkoghgk

Ann 17/01/2019 at 7:39 pm

There is this guy I’ve told him that I like him and he told me that he likes me. So I asked him to go on a date/be my boyfriend and he said that he wasn’t ready to date anyone. What would I do? Should I wait for him to be ready of just try and get rid of my crush?

olivia 19/06/2018 at 7:53 am

@Plop - I’m a girl and all you have to do is be sweet and funny to her. You and your friends and her friends can all go and hangout. If you text her and try and make conversation and get to know each other well, she will start to see how great of a person you are. Figure out what makes her laugh and what makes her happy & use that. Definitely become friends first though because she will feel more comfortable with you. Please don’t text her and be creepy and pushy because that’s not cool, personal experience yikes lol. Good luck m8

Leo_I Editor 19/06/2018 at 3:07 pm

@Maya - ignore your friend judging you she just jealous. Give him time coz he will tell you if he likes you. It sounds like he does:))))

Maya 19/06/2018 at 7:45 am

I’ve know this guy since preschool and now we’re going into 9th grade and we just started getting to know each other better this past year. We’re going to different high schools and I’ve started to like him. We snapchat a lot but I don’t know if he likes me too. I’m afraid to tell him because he’s nice, funny, and super easy to talk to. I don’t want to lose him as a friend but I can’t deny my feelings for him. He was kind of the popular guy in my class of 28 people, but I’ve always been nice to everyone so I was well liked in my class. One of my old friends who has been pretty mean to me over the years likes him too, but I don’t think he would like her and he’s told me how she snapchat’s him a lot. My best friend doesn’t really like him and she gets judgy if she sees me texting him. Someone please help!

Jade10 Editor 07/06/2018 at 12:04 pm

@Plop - do girls go out with younger guys? That is the question. We don't go out with younger people in my school as it's seen as a bit weird. Just saying - you might want to think it through and compare :I

Maisie Editor 31/05/2018 at 1:00 pm

@Lee - do you think he may have a crush on you and that is why he is hanging out with you? That might be the reason and he might think that you don't really like him. Maybe it's time to get a bit flirty with him and try to find out!

Lee 29/05/2018 at 2:21 am

I've been friends with this one guy since we started high school. We didn't start becoming close until a year back, and even though we don't really have the same group of friends, we're always just hanging out together. I just realized about half a month ago that I had a huge crush on him, and now I have no idea what to do. I can't avoid him (not like I want to, anyway), but now that I've figured out that I like him, I keep making things super awkward between us. He's really sweet, but I think he's confused because it's pretty obvious that things are different, now. The thing is, I don't think he suspects anything at all, because he thinks I like someone else! What do I do?

Cal Editor 15/05/2018 at 2:27 pm

@maggie_w - have you even spoken to him? That would be a start. Try and strike up a conversation, be confident and just do it.

maggie_w 15/05/2018 at 12:29 am

Alright, so I'm a freshman. The second I started highschool I noticed this guy, he was in three of my classes. I realized I had a small crush growing on him, but just brushed it off and decided to ignore it. However, it never went away. It just kept getting worse. I'm pretty much at the end of grade 9 now, he wasn't in any of my classes this semester but I still think about him everyday. I've come to the conclusion that this crush will never go away, I really like this guy. I don't even want any help I just wanted to get it out there, haven't told anyone yet. So ya... I'm obsessed with him.

Jax Editor 04/05/2018 at 2:34 pm

@K - it's likely he knows if your friends know. So at least he will know who you are now :) If he is interested he'll start to catch your eye. If he talks to you - then he is interested.

K 03/05/2018 at 10:32 pm

I’m 12 and have a crush on this boy called Adam. I’ve told all of my friends (because I don’t mind them knowing) but even with my friends tease me when I walks by I don’t even think he knows who I am. Although this one boy was talking to me -with Adam- and nudged him as if to say something but I don’t know, help!!!

confused 30/03/2018 at 5:23 am

i am a softmore in high school and i like this guy but he can be rude sometimes, maybe he’s flirting or whatever but he always says he joking but some of the things he says can be hurtful, like calling me stupid or like i eat like a pig or whatever but i dont know my friends say that’s how boys flirt but i’m not sure..... do i like a totally horrible person that hates me? or i’d that just him flirting..?

Flisskj Editor 29/03/2018 at 12:13 pm

@lauryn - I'd wait to see if you get any encouraging signs. If there are bits where he's cold to you, I'd probably not say anything yet. Just continue being friends and trying to spend more time together. My crush went cold when I told him. If he likes you, he'll make an effort, simple.

lauryn 28/03/2018 at 5:39 am

I’m a girl in 10th grade and have a crush on a friend. not very close but i’ve had a crush on him for a few months now and i can’t confess my crush because if he dosent feel the same way then i’ll have to spend the rest of the school year in the same class awkwardly and we have another class junior year. what should i do? should i take the risk and confess my feelings ( i dont know if he feels the same, it’s pretty hot and cold) or should i just try to get over my crush and remain friends??

MinniM Editor 05/03/2018 at 10:20 am

@Lovegirl - if he told you he just wants to be friends then you need to listen to him, move on and find someone else who loves you too. We all hang around too much waiting for that special person to love us but we are wasting time. We need to find someone who loves us back.

Lovegirl 04/03/2018 at 10:43 am

Hi,im a girl in 7th grade..my crush told me that he loves me alot and i told him too but he said that he thinks we should just be friends.I said ok,but i cant get him out of my mind.someone pls help me!! Its a killer crush we know each other since 3rd grade and i like him since start and likes me since 5th grade...how can i cope up being in love but being friends

jessie Editor 23/02/2018 at 11:16 am

@Lovesick - if you think he likes you too - just go with it. :)))

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