Let's Talk About Sex

Why it helps to talk openly

Sex can feel awkward to talk about, even though it's everywhere in films and online. Clear, honest information is often harder to find.

Understanding the facts can help you decide what you want and how to look after yourself, whether or not you're having sex.

In the UK, the age of consent is 16 for everyone, whatever their gender or sexuality. There are extra legal protections for under 18s, including in relationships with an adult in a position of trust. If you're under 16, you can still get confidential advice and contraception.

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Is everyone really doing it?

It can feel as though everyone around you is having sex. What people say at school or online is not a reliable guide. A lot of it is exaggeration or showing off.

Many young people wait, and some don't want sex at all. Being 16 doesn't mean you have to be ready. There is no deadline.

Consent means both people freely agree, and keep agreeing throughout. Agreeing to one thing isn't agreeing to another, and either of you can change your mind at any point. Someone who is asleep, unconscious or too drunk or high to choose cannot consent. If you feel pressured, something isn't right.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

What safer sex means

Safer sex means reducing the chance of passing on an STI or having an unplanned pregnancy. Condoms and other barriers help, but some STIs, such as herpes and HPV, spread through skin to skin contact in areas that condoms may not cover.

UKHSA figures show that 15 to 24 year olds in England are disproportionately affected by some STIs. Many infections have no symptoms, so testing matters even if you feel well. If left untreated, some can cause fertility problems.

Practical steps include:

• using a new external or internal condom for every act of vaginal, anal or oral sex, including when switching between anal and vaginal sex
• using water or silicone based lubricant with latex condoms, and never using two condoms at once
• using dental dams for oral sex on the vulva or anus
• checking condoms are in date and carry the UKCA or CE mark
• asking a clinic about testing if you have a new partner, symptoms or a possible exposure, because some infections take time to show up
• talking with your partner about protection before you have sex

Condoms help prevent pregnancy and reduce the risk of many STIs. The pill, the implant and other forms of contraception do not protect against STIs. HPV vaccination, hepatitis B vaccination where appropriate and HIV PrEP add protection alongside condoms.

Alcohol and drugs make clear decisions harder, so plan ahead and carry condoms.

Where to get help and advice

Sexual health advice is confidential, including for under 16s. If staff think you or someone else may be at risk of harm, they may need to share information. They will usually discuss this with you first.

After unprotected sex, act quickly. Emergency contraceptive pills work up to 72 or 120 hours afterwards, depending on the type. A copper IUD is the most effective option and can usually be fitted within five days. HIV PEP must start within 72 hours, ideally sooner.

• Sexual health services: free STI testing, treatment and contraception, though what each clinic offers varies. Search the NHS website in England, NHS inform in Scotland, NHS 111 Wales or nidirect in Northern Ireland.
• Brook: online information, plus services in some areas. Check its website for local availability and age limits.
• C Card schemes: free condoms for young people in many areas. Ask at a clinic, pharmacy or youth centre.
• Terrence Higgins Trust: information on HIV and sexual health.
• Sexual assault referral centres: medical care and support after assault, without having to report to the police first.
• Childline: call 0800 1111 about anything, including pressure or abuse.

Some areas offer free home testing kits. You can ask for help even if you're unsure what to say. Staff are used to questions about sex, contraception and relationships.

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